FOXMAIL

Hi Jamari,

First of all congrats on the job. I just found one myself. Ain’t God good? Anyway, i  recently met this down low guy. We met online. He is very much in the closet. Has a girl friend. You know the type. He is definitely one of those undetectable types. He’s brown skin, got a nice body, tats, hood swag, everything I like. We’ve only texted since the first time we met and I think he is really interested. We are supposed to get together this weekend and will probably have sex. I want to let him know I like him and try to get him to open up. But he’s so private.

How can I put him at ease and let him know that he can trust me?

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: I Want This D/L Wolf With The Girlfriend To Like Me After We Smash!” →

FOXMAIL

Hi Jamari!

I am a straight black female reader of yours for many years and love your blog. I check it every day. I’m sending this email for advice in relation to a situation I’m in with a young man at my university. About a year ago, after being dumped by my ex, I started talk to the guy on Facebook. He’s actually a player on our football team and it’s one of the many things we bonded over. Within a matter of weeks, we fell for each other and began hooking up, with me always spending the night. He is a special kind of guy, loyal, caring, well-spoken. Between looks and personality, he’s my prince charming. I then, due to daddy issues and my recent breakup, became too clingy and needy and we eventually stopped speaking for a month. We then reconnected and I later found out he had started talking to another girl in the time we lost contact, and then stopped when we reestablished contact. We had a falling out a month later, which I admit was my fault, and lost contact again. About a month later we started talking again and both still had feelings for each other. As the months went on we went back and forth between speaking and not speaking. During the last time we didn’t speak during summer break, he started talking to another girl, which he told me about and made me aware that he would be talking to us both at the same time.  I understood and agreed to be just friends. When we got back to school, we had limited contact. He would speak when we saw each other on campus and respond to my good luck/good game texts. Then in September it all stopped. I didn’t hear from him or see him anymore and am sure I was blocked on his iPhone, until last night. We both attended a party on campus. When I said hi, he gave me a hug and asked how I was doing. Later on we danced, very intimately, together for a long period of time. He then invited me over his place before he left, I said yes and that I would let him know when I got home since my dorm is next door to his apartment complex. After he left, he texted me and asked again if I was coming over, and again I said yes.  When I got back to my room, I texted him and he never responded. He has not read my texts since and I believe I am once again blocked. My question is what do you thinks going on, why he keeps getting close and then pushing me away? Could it be because of the other girl and I’m too much of a temptation? He is very interested in her and has been chasing her since the summer, but the feelings don’t seem to be mutual on her end. I really need your help and advice on this situation. My feelings are so deep, I haven’t been able to move on with anyone else.

Thank you for all you do,

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: He Keeps Getting Close Then Pushes Me Away. Help!” →

FOXMAIL

Jamari:

I’m going on year two in the ATL and I have fallen hard for a stripper. He does his work and comes homes to me but since he is bi-sexual, I feel like I’m competing with the foxes and hyenas in order to have his attention.

He has goals and ambitions and wants me included with them but I can’t shake all the females (or its more of him) that can’t shake them off with the texts and meeting them at the club esp. when foxes, wolves, and hyenas bring their “female” foxes.

I have fallen hard and we got so much in common but I want him all to myself and not share with anyone (Foxes or wolves included).  Any advice?

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: Im In Love With A Stripper Wolf and So Is Everyone Else! Help!” →

FOXMAIL

*sighs* Imma make this short….

Okay so about a year and a half ago I meet this guy off of a social media website and we instantly became friends. He lives in VA and I live in ATL and It’s like we clicked on so many different levels and would talk almost everyday. We called each other brothers and would share our things that happened in our daily lives, work, friends, family, and even our sex business and the dudes we were dealing with. I’m going to be honest, he is kinda “loose” and gets around alot with niggas he meets on Jack’d, Twitter, and even FB but he was such a good friend and we always laugh and have alot in common that I never judged him (who am I to judge) and didnt matter because I was so happy to have finally found a friend that I felt that I could talk to about being bi without being judge and vice verse without any obligations for sex.

Well I was wrong. A couple of months ago, I get a text from this friend telling me that he appreciates the fact that I’m always here to listen to him and give him advice, something that he can’t find with all of these niggas that he fucks and that he really feels a connection to me. At first I thought that he was just saying that he likes me as a friend and that I feel like family to him but then he text me on some shit like “Yo, you might hate me for saying this but if I came to ATL, I would beat dat shit outta da frame til you can’t take dat shyt no more”…

Now I ain’t gon lie, that text would be cool if it was another nigga that I was talking to but coming from him it just felt idk “awkward” b/c I never even looked at him in that way. Yeah he sexy, got a nice complexion, teeth, tattoos, nice body and about 6’2 but I just see him as a brother and that from that day forth he been sending me overly-sexual text messages and every time we talk on the phone it always turns into him talking bout that he wanna come see me and that he wanna fuck.

I know that you and your readers might think im crazy for even second guessing this shit and questioning it but I’m just starting to feel like this nigga don’t got an ounce of respect for me. I thought what me and him had was special and that we had a bond like family, but the fact that he texting me all the same shit he text other niggas that he fucks and forgets rubs me the wrong way like “damn nigga I thought you just seem me as a friend and keep that shit to yaself man. I told him that shit is kinda making me feel uncomfortable and to stop but i guess it just goes in one ear and out the other.

When I try to change the convo he just finds his way back to some sex shit and it’s really starting to turn me off from even wanting to talk to him honestly.

So my question is:

1) What do you think I should do, cut him off or take some space?

2) Why do you think that it is so hard to find friends in this lifestyle that actually just like you as a friend and not a potential fuck buddy when they done dealing with other niggas?

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: My Hoe Doesn’t Understand I Don’t Want His Hoe-licitation. Help!” →

my worst fear realized.
so i’m in the crib this morning,
washing dishes,
listening to the word from dallas.
i look and see this thing curled up in the drain.
at first i thought it may have been a tea bag or something.
nope.
it was a dead mouse.
yup.
dropped all the shit and ran out the kitchen.
i stayed in my bedroom for practically the entire afternoon.
i wanted to come write something about introverts,
but i couldn’t even get my mind right to focus.
funny enough,
i kept having these visions a mouse was in my crib.
there was no mouse droppings anywhere.
no sign of anything.
i just had a feeling something may be in my apartment.
well i was right.
and i fucking flipped.
i went and asked my neighbor’s mama if she could come get it.
#noshame
#wasinbitchmode
#menahcurr
she was nice enough to get it.
i haven’t seen a mouse in here in years.
one came in through a crack in my closet a couple years ago.
got that fixed.
now we dying in my drain?
how the fuck it got in my sink?
i don’t leave food anywhere.
i put all my scraps in a bag for the freezer.
i leave nothing out.
empty trash regularly.
how in every bit of mickey mouse fuck….?
i can’t and will not.
dead ass i was about to move.
i wasn’t even playing.

FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari,

Love the site man! Been coming here more often for the past year or so and I can tell you that the more that I come here the more addicted I get to the site. lol!

But to the point in why I am writing you this email, I wanted to know if you have ever done an article about “being led-on” by someone who showed interest in you first and you resisted knowing that it would lead to a road of nothing. But then the tables turn and you end up the one chasing back and they switch and claim that you are “crazy” “obsessed” “clingy” or even “thirsty” smh.

I can admit it got to the point into where I would literally check all of his social media sites (FB, Twitter, IG)  to make sure that when he said he was “busy” that he wasnt lying to me when he wouldn’t answer my text or to see that he wasn’t with someone else.

He used to come to me with all of his problems about things that happened at work and how I made him feel like he could just be himself with me and that made me feel so special knowing that I made him feel that way. We would talk damn near everyday for hours and hours, getting to know each other and shared some very personal things about our lives and had nicknames for each other and claimed that if we lived closer that we would be together.

As embarrassing as it sounds, I literally did end up going crazy over this guy because he swept me off my feet with the “pillow talk” and sweet things and words he would do and say for me and made me feel like no other. He made me feel like I was the only “guy” in the world but come to find out, he makes all of his “bait” feel that way.

I just feel so dumb and stupid to the fact that I let myself fall into the trap of what I thought to be love only to find out that he was really running game on me. smh.

I  have had guys trying to talk to me and some even claim that they like me or have crushes on me but for some reason being “chased and rejected” by this guy has me all fucked up and I really don’t feel like getting to know anyone at all. *sighs*

Thanks

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: He Liked Me… and Now He Got Me Lookin Crazy Out Here! Help!” →