SHE DEAD! SHE GONE! (AND NOW I NEED TO GET WHAT I DESERVE)

tumblr_n4gzdzUeio1tziei6o1_500the death in the family.
the tears.
the emotions.
the words.

“OH MY GOOOOD AUNT GERTRUDE!!!
I LOVED YOU!!!
I LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!!!!
YOU WERE THE SUN!!
THE MOON!!
AND THE STARS!!!
WHY AUNT GERTRUDE WHYYYY THEY TAKE YOU SO SOON!!!”

…and thats all good until aunt gertrude’s assets come into the conversation.
just no will of who gets those assets.
suddenly it goes from the sadness of losing someone to:

“BITCH SHE LOVED ME!!
I WAS THERE FOR HER IN HER LAST DAYS!!!
YOU STUPID UGLY BITCH!!!
YALL AINT DO SHIT FOR HA’H!!!
YOU WAS HER OWN CHILD AND YOU WASN’T EVEN THERE!!
FUCK YOU CAUSE I’M HERE TO COLLECT THAT CHE…
I MEAN…
TAKE CARE AND CHERISH WHAT SHE LEFT SINCE I WAS HER FAVORITE.
YEAH.
YEAH THATS IT…”

…yeah.
i know that all too well.
the death in the family can bring out the worse in everyone,
but i had to wonder…

Why don’t we think about setting up a will?


when we pass,
all of our stuff is up for grabs.
our secrets will suddenly come out.
people will learn things about us that they never knew.
so that very large porn collection you have…
yeah…
grand mama is about to know you like midget sex.
uh huh.
i mean why you care?
you’d be dead.
duh.

tumblr_inline_movghj3ZDF1qz4rgpwe don’t know when we will pass away.
life is not promised to us.
we may live to see a very old age,
or we could drop dead tomorrow.
“see how the world is set up…”
this entry is not meant to scare you,
but it is meant to wake your ass up.
when you die,
more than likely,
you haven’t set up any kind of “this is who gets what”

laptop.
clothes.
social media accounts.
tv.
car.
crib.

you don’t have to be ballin’ to have a will.
its just all of your things will be up for grabs when you pass.
family has a way of faking the funk just to get all your shit.
trust me.
i know what all too well.
they would love that new 70” you bought yourself for christmas.
that aunt you despise will think she has the right to your car keys.
your baby mama,
assuming you have had a life outside of “the life”,
will want what is hers.
you know because lil “khalil” needs diapers with your entire savings account.
everything of yours will now have everyone at war.

tumblr_lzo6xcQnyS1rni1c9o1_500“I DESERVE IT BECAUSE I LOVED HIM LIKE MY BROTHER!”

“NO I DESERVE IT YOU RANCID ASS PUSSY HOE!”

thats right.
you.
and you sitting in heaven like:

“i ain’t even like these two bitches…”

so i want you to think about your will.
who will you leave your things too.
who was really there for you when you needed them.
hell it could be your best friend.
what about if you have a cub(s)?
who do you want to take care of them once you are gone?
you may have sole custody and now this cub(s) are being neglected.
people say one thing about taking care of your cub(s) when you are alive.
you don’t even need a lawyer to establish these things either.
you just need:

a document
two witnesses
your signature and date
an envelope

put in your room
give someone you trust a copy

it can avoid so much drama with it.
people will know who get what instead of assuming.
families won’t be broken up.
no “i loved him so much” while having sticky fingers.
if you don’t want no one getting your shit,
well…
do what leona helmsley did.
leave your entire estate to…

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tdy-110609-Leona-Helmsley-trouble-1140a.grid-5x2…your dog.
yeah.
i’m sure they’ll really cry true thug tears then.

lowkey: i let karoake know that if anything every happened to me,
that i wanted her to update the foxhole of my passing.
i wouldn’t want my readers to wonder wtf happened to me.
i need to remind her again via document.

read this on if a lawyer means your will is legal: here

learn more leona helmsley: here

learn what happened after her dog died: here

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

12 thoughts on “SHE DEAD! SHE GONE! (AND NOW I NEED TO GET WHAT I DESERVE)

  1. My father’s an attorney so he makes wills for people all the time. I know me and my sister get everything if something happens to my parents and if anything happens to me, my sister gets everything.

    1. Its a shame how family will be all up in your house taking shit when you die. Last time a family member died there was a big fallout because people were hiding money and basically looting the house smh

      1. ^see and thats not good at all.
        that happened when my parents died.
        they wasn’t ready for hurricane jamari tho.
        i wasn’t not even playing.
        although i did things that i regret,
        i know how nasty and down right triflin’ family can get once someone dies.
        its sad…

  2. I ain’t got nothing lol. All I have is my laptop, my phone, clothes, and they can fight over my refund money, whatever will be left of it lol. After I graduate, I’ll make a will, but not now. Whatever is in my phone and laptop is cool because I will not be here to face the consequences of what is found inside. I got both items this year, it’s really not anything dirty on either.

  3. I had a will created years ago when I took an Estates, Will, & Trusts class for my Paralegal degree. Wills can be contested though. So make sure it’s airtight! Lol
    but sadly, I’ve also seen the dark side of family when someone passes away. My family literally disintegrated when my grandparents on both sides passed away. Bickering and fighting over who gets what. It was disgusting. I still don’t speak to a lot of family members to this day due to their shenanigans.
    Greed brings out the ugliness in people.

  4. I know that shit with family all too well TOO. My family members are a bunch of money hungry lunatics. Doing anything they can to get money just so they can blow it fast on something stupid. Anything but their bills.

    I think about who I’m going to leave my blessings to a lot. I’m still undecided on whether I wanna have kids or not. I’m thinking about adoption because black people literally give so many children up to foster-care/boys & girls clubs that I’d have no problem getting one. If I do decide to have kids. It’s def going to them but if I don’t. I’m not leaving it to a damn dog. Her body should be dug up and pissed on.

    I think I might do like Bill Gates. Leave some to my family and give the rest to charity. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I had the power to feed many hungry children & families but didn’t do it. I know what it’s like to be a hungry child and have to go without for a day or scrape together what little you do have to make dinner. I’d want God to bitch slap me if I ever left a huge sum of money behind and didn’t share with those who could use it.

    But I plan to live till I’m 100 so I don’t think I need to worry about that. It’ll be 2080-something when I die. The world will have fixed problems like hunger & homelessness by then.

  5. I get everything if something happens to my mother. If something happens to my grandparents, I get their house and I think the cars. You are right though, these are things we really don’t think about.

  6. This is the best entry you can right to end 2014. No matter how much we have or dont have, we all need a will to ensure that who ever is left can carry out your wishes. Sadly, most Black families do not leave wills and it causes so much stress, heartache and confusion. I am so glad my dad took out the time to do his will before he passed away, it was such a smooth transition, there have been no fights with my siblings and it has benefited us even 6 years after he died, some of his assets have matured since that time and we are reaping the benefits. I have friends right now who have not spoken to their siblings in years because they felt that they have been done dirty after a parent died and no specific instructions were left. People 90% of the time will not do the right thing when someone dies, so having things in writing helps. Although I have 2 cousin who have turned into bitter enemies even with a will because my Aunt left everything to one child and not the other. Our community for the most part does not like to talk about death, and we miss out on so much when someone dies because we do not plan and take advantage of information that can keep wealth in our community for generations to come, by simply having a will or putting our assets into a trust. Its hard to change the name on property without a will that has been probated.

    Those of you who think you have nothing you will be surprised, to know that family member who you despised and who always talked shit about your lifestyle, may be the one who gets your assets if you dont have a will, its pretty much up for grabs what ever you have with no will. I cant preach the importance of a will after seeing what happens when you dont have one. Great information J. I actually need to update mine. Please foxhole get your legal affairs in order if you dont do nothing else in 2015, make this a priority from your burial needs to allocation of your assets.

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