“OH MY GOOOOD AUNT GERTRUDE!!!
I LOVED YOU!!!
I LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!!!!
YOU WERE THE SUN!!
AND THE STARS!!!
WHY AUNT GERTRUDE WHYYYY THEY TAKE YOU SO SOON!!!”
…and thats all good until aunt gertrude’s assets come into the conversation.
just no will of who gets those assets.
suddenly it goes from the sadness of losing someone to:
“BITCH SHE LOVED ME!!
I WAS THERE FOR HER IN HER LAST DAYS!!!
YOU STUPID UGLY BITCH!!!
YALL AINT DO SHIT FOR HA’H!!!
YOU WAS HER OWN CHILD AND YOU WASN’T EVEN THERE!!
FUCK YOU CAUSE I’M HERE TO COLLECT THAT CHE…
TAKE CARE AND CHERISH WHAT SHE LEFT SINCE I WAS HER FAVORITE.
YEAH THATS IT…”
i know that all too well.
the death in the family can bring out the worse in everyone,
but i had to wonder…
Why don’t we think about setting up a will?
when we pass,
all of our stuff is up for grabs.
our secrets will suddenly come out.
people will learn things about us that they never knew.
so that very large porn collection you have…
grand mama is about to know you like midget sex.
i mean why you care?
you’d be dead.
we don’t know when we will pass away.
life is not promised to us.
we may live to see a very old age,
or we could drop dead tomorrow.
“see how the world is set up…”
this entry is not meant to scare you,
but it is meant to wake your ass up.
when you die,
more than likely,
you haven’t set up any kind of “this is who gets what”…
social media accounts.
you don’t have to be ballin’ to have a will.
its just all of your things will be up for grabs when you pass.
family has a way of faking the funk just to get all your shit.
i know what all too well.
they would love that new 70” you bought yourself for christmas.
that aunt you despise will think she has the right to your car keys.
your baby mama,
assuming you have had a life outside of “the life”,
will want what is hers.
you know because lil “khalil” needs diapers with your entire savings account.
everything of yours will now have everyone at war.
“NO I DESERVE IT YOU RANCID ASS PUSSY HOE!”
and you sitting in heaven like:
“i ain’t even like these two bitches…”
so i want you to think about your will.
who will you leave your things too.
who was really there for you when you needed them.
hell it could be your best friend.
what about if you have a cub(s)?
who do you want to take care of them once you are gone?
you may have sole custody and now this cub(s) are being neglected.
people say one thing about taking care of your cub(s) when you are alive.
you don’t even need a lawyer to establish these things either.
you just need:
your signature and date
put in your room
give someone you trust a copy
it can avoid so much drama with it.
people will know who get what instead of assuming.
families won’t be broken up.
no “i loved him so much” while having sticky fingers.
if you don’t want no one getting your shit,
do what leona helmsley did.
leave your entire estate to…
lowkey: i let karoake know that if anything every happened to me,
that i wanted her to update the foxhole of my passing.
i wouldn’t want my readers to wonder wtf happened to me.
i need to remind her again via document.
read this on if a lawyer means your will is legal: here
learn more leona helmsley: here
learn what happened after her dog died: here