No Fats, No Fems, No Blacks, No Grindr? (Yes Jack’d?)


that always leads to a lengthy discussion.
the foxhole is known for those kind of debates.
well there is a new beef causing a debate in the forests.
jack’d vs grindr
not about which app is the most oversexed.

one app accuses the other of promoting racism.
this is what a vix-bi sent me that towleroad had to report…

Hook-up app Jackd, which is geared toward gay urban millennials, urged its members this week to be “the generation that ends racism” and came for the biggest competitor in the field: Grindr.

In a new video titled “The Generation That Ends Racism,” Jack’d blasts Grindr for allowing users to post discriminatory and racist preferences like “no fats, no femmes” and “No blacks, no Asians” on its platform.

Said Alon Rivel, the Director of Global Marketing at Jackd: “We have a zero tolerance policy for racism on Jackd. We encourage members being discriminated against or harassed to report it to our customer service department.  If we find the allegations to be true, we  will  immediately delete the profile of the offending member regardless if they are a paid member or not.  Our members’ comfort and safety will always trump making money.”

Apps like Grindr need to take responsibility, added Rivel: “There is a difference between being attracted to certain characteristics of a man and spewing hate and/or attacking others for their religion or the color of their skin. Racism, in both the real and virtual worlds, is not ok.  As gay men, we are all minorities and we need to stand together in accepting and supporting our differences.”

The Advocate spoke with Grindr VP of marketing Peter Sloterdyk, who said “sexual racism is a larger problem within our community and impacts all dating apps, not just Grindr.”

Added Sloterdyk: “[Grindr] prohibits the use of offensive or racist language and encourage our community to report offending profiles through our app’s built-in system.”

Watch Jack’d’s ad:


when i use to be on those apps,
looking for whatever i was looking for,
i would see “warnings” plastered over certain profiles.
in my own mind,
i’d assume:

a) “no fats and fems”: it was those who probably got catfished
b) “no insert race here: it was someone who i didn’t want to get to know

i was never bothered because they obviously wasn’t for me.
if a thousand wolves only want snow foxes,
or the racially ambiguous,
those wolves are stuck in self hate and probably corny af anyway.
you see how wack the wolves who strictly date one race are.
even with the straights.
this whole scandal is really interesting tho.
it promotes “the generation that ends no preference”.
instead of taking out ads for personal choices,
and allowing folks to navigate dick/foxtail however they choose,
why don’t they:

  • deal with all the diseases being allegedly passed back and forth on those sites
  • bringing awareness to make the sites safe with the amount of alleged murders/robberies

i mean…

taking warnings out of profiles doesn’t mean it will stop it.
it just means it will be hidden much better.
so i had to ask the foxhole…

Is Jack’d right or wrong?


article cc: towleroad

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

22 thoughts on “No Fats, No Fems, No Blacks, No Grindr? (Yes Jack’d?)”

  1. It’s both a good thing and a bad thing but first I really am tired of folks using preference wrong in this topic, preference means you prefer something but are open to other things it doesn’t mean you only are into one thing so let’s really remove that from the narrative plz. lol

    So it’s good in that it’s calling out racism in the gay community because the gays seem to believe that because we are an oppressed minority we can’t be as bad as straights or worse but we are. This idea of chasing after whites is actually tired and most of the whites that people tend to pump up are tired both in their characteristics and their looks tbh. It’s good in that it spotlights directly how white in our society is the default and the desired goal of both romantic partner and personality traits. I’d love it if we as a community actually acted like a community and stuck together but the way these gays act I highly doubt that.

    The negative is first off these are people who used to openly say no fats no fems then they got called out and made up some bs excuse for it “preference.” They created food terms to hide their racism so now they’ll basically find other inventive ways to be openly racists without a person knowing they are racist. Also as you mentioned earlier I prefer they be honest because now I know what corny ass whack ass simple ass black dude I can avoid and block and what boring and exhausting white gay to avoid. These things help me navigate the website and have the choice to block a person before interacting with them and their bullshit.

    TL:DR I think it’s nice the effort they are making to remove racism from the gay community but it’s really not going to get to the heart of things it’s just going to create a new way of being racist.

    1. I think Ronnie summed it up perfectly. The word preference is misused in the gay community way too much. Everyone has physical features that turn them on but, the truth is in almost every other aspect of life preference doesnt mean only. A lot of that preference stuff is just posturing to gay idealized stereotypes. In fact, when I was younger and was on a lot of the gay sites it always surprised me how many of these “no fats” guys would hit me up even though I was chubby.

  2. Meh whatever.

    Losers on these apps are NOT finding other men they are compatible with anyway.

    It’s all just a way to kill time honestly. Wasting your life away looking at profiles and going through the same rinse and repeat cycle with men and only getting a good fuck at the most.

    I could care less about these dudes with these colorstruck, fat phobic views because even the most attractive man with the best body is still have to resort to being on these apps looking like everyone else🤷🏾‍♂️

  3. Can gays have a preference? Sure, if we’re being honest about it. It’s hard to say people are being honest, or even have “legitimate” preferences, when literally EVERYONE with the preference has the same preference(s). When you say “i have preferences for x,y,z” these days, most likely the only thing you’re conveying to an intelligent person is that your preference is conformity and social and media conditioning. Good job for being unique.

    Everybody with a preference is with white or latino >>white to mestizo latino<<< (asian if you're lucky) and is a 23 y/o underwear model? Yeah, okay. I've got your number.

    Until I see some honesty and diversity in these "preferences" no, like Ronnie said, don't even say preference until the intelligence is there, not everybody has to like blacks, fems, fats,etc. but it's pretty clear that many still have their hangups about race and sexuality, and that's just not a good look.

    No one thinks in our societies anymore. Literally, everyone is inept.

  4. You can’t force people to not be racist and awful, but you can make people be civil. I know first hand that these app mess with your self esteem hardcore. If you live in a diverse place, perhaps reading no blacks, or…. may not phase you. But if you live in a small town that’s isn’t diverse and doesn’t have a large gay population, reading those “preferences” can tear you down. You start to believe that no one wants one.

    Ultimately these preferences are a reflection of the racism within the gay community and the idea of “passing” in our community. And how it is preferable to be a gay person that can pass as a straight person instead of gay person that cannot.
    It reminds me of way back when, when it was preferable to be a black person that could pass as a non black person instead of a black person that’s can’t.

    1. I think even diversity doesn’t even help because even the “diverse” people want these said “preferences” so even marginalized people living in large metropolises feel the sting, but of course,I could only imagine it being worse in an area as you described…

      These preferences are a reflection within our SOCIETIES more than the gay community. This is far from a gay thing which is why i find it funny that some people are always and only critical of gay men when gay men are literally an exaggerated reflection of our societies and how it conveys men. It’s always bigger than gay men, and generally never starts with gay men (not saying that responsiblity shouldn’t be taken on the part of gay men, of course), What we see in the gay community is only a by-product and a microcosm of our society. It’s just worse because the community is much smaller and following the “straight” trends. Exoticals in the straight community became the “in thing”, same thing happened in the gay community, except it’s exaggerated to become the “ONLY” thing.It’s just exaggerated.

  5. But blacks are just as likely to post “no blacks” or “prefer white, asian, latin, middle eastern (basically, anything but black)” as any other race. blacks are also notorious for identifying themselves as “mixed” or “other” when they appear exactly black.

    1. I agree with you. I worked with a gay black kid who I thoroughly enjoyed his company. I seen a fine azz black man by and pointed him and this kid got super defensive and stated that he only likes white men and doesn’t find me of color attractive at all. Not even Spanish guys mind you his BLACK azz was claiming to be half Puerto Rican with is texurized(spell check me) hair and blue contacts. The self hate I saw in this kid was and also disgusted me. He wasn’t my cup of tea personally but he was cute and it was sad to know that he was gonna miss out on the beautiful that is people of color because he isn’t happy with himself. Even if the guy isnt what he “prefers” it was clear that the guy was just attractive.

      1. White supremacy beliefs and practices are very common among black gay men. I have done this experiment twice, once on aol (years ago) and once on a4a more recently: create two profiles – one black and one white – and reach out to a black guy. More often than not he’ll jump through the screen for the white man and pay the black guy dust.

        And when black guys don’t directly express a preference for any race other than black, they covertly do so by adding such code phrases as “no race hang ups” or “race unimportant” to signal their availability (read preference) for men of other races.

        So what I can’t understand is this: in the politically correct world, if a black man expresses a willingness/preference/desire to date a white man he’s considered “open minded”, “color blind” or “progressive”. If a white man expresses this SAME thing he’s labeled “racist”.

        Why is it OK for a black guy to prefer to date a white guy but not OK for a white guy to prefer to date a white guy?

  6. I don’t go on these sites for that reason. I’m everything they hate. Fat, black, and ugly. What’s sad is my personality is amazing and a lot of pop don’t realize it until they actually get to know me but the guys that frequent these sites are superficial as hell and I’m not mad at them for it cause truly we all want someone good looking I just hate that they’re so harsh in their pickings. I’ve been single all my life for this very reason. I’m overlooked all the time. The only time guys give me time is when their trying to get close to my vixen friends. Shame.

    Just the world we live in tbh. I like that they called them out just cause it MAY make some of the them think “damn I’m too harsh” maybe they’ll broaden their horizons a bit. Don’t get me wrong I’ll still be overlooked along with many but maybe some others who aren’t so bad off will get lucky more often

  7. I honestly don’t care about guys with those “preferences”, they’re not worth the time. Guys on hookup apps shouldn’t be taken seriously. Most of them are time wasters too. Plus I am confident and have no problem attracting men (and women) of all races so stuff like this doesn’t faze me. I’m also not one of those POC who seeks validation from white people, in fact when I was on those apps, most of the guys who messaged me where white. And I ignored most of them. Sorry but I refuse to put ANY man on a pedestal. You bleed, shit and sweat just like I do. You are not special sir. if I come across any man with that sort of ego I look the other way. Especially when ALL you have to offer is your looks LMAO! BYE

    1. You say you don’t let this stuff phase you, and then you say that you haven no problems getting people. This issue is for those that due have an issue getting people and for those that aren’t as confident. It’s hard to be confident when you are constantly being rejected. And to add insult to injury a lot of these guys are so nasty with their rejections. I am in an open relationship and my man is heavy. He has been told to go kill him self and all sorts of things on these apps because of his size.

      1. I meant I don’t let seeing articles about things like this phase me. I’ve seen “No blacks” before (a few times) but it’s not that common where I live for guys to put that on their profiles. It must predominantly be an American thing to be that blunt. Racism is everywhere, I’ve just noticed that in the US it’s more common for guys to be *blunt* on their profiles about races that they’re not attracted to compared to the UK. But yes it happens everywhere.

        So yes I say all that to say I have no problem attracting people, it’s just that I don’t let articles or profiles on apps that talk about this issue faze me. Because I do believe that I’m attractive. That’s all.

  8. I don’t know if this is big a problem in the straight apps. I don’t know if women in general are as direct as men are. My best friend who is white and who is a heavy woman and she has a lot of admirers (especially from black men.) she has told me some men are cruel to her because of her size, but she says that a lot of guys wouldn’t admit it in public but behind close doors love large women.

  9. No Fats and Fems.. I don’t find it offensive to say such. You’re weeding out what you’re not attracted to physically and that’s what it is. The core symbolism of the gay man has always been a nice body and a masculine demeanor.

    It’s interesting to note that some guys that are overweight won’t date other overweight men and some fems won’t date other fems cause they all want that fine masculine dude with the nice body.

    On that note, you have thin men that love overweight guys, “Chubby Chasers” and you have masculine men that love fem guys.

    It’s really boils down to who (or what that person) is attracted to physically. Str8 folks are just as bad…Niggas always talking about big ass titties and big booty hoes (though it seems like these days, most will fuk anything with a warm and willing hole…) and don’t let them females fool you, they like big dicks too and they do talk about men with Smurf peens.

    Women be liking dominant men..They don’t want no chump scary man that can’t protect them…All you hear most of them talking about is finding a man with pretty eyes and hair so they can have pretty babies…since they think this is a doll show.

    Sure everyone not like this but people like what they like.

    I don’t know what to say about the race thing since I routinely make it clear that I love dark skinned men of color. Afro-Brazilian, Afro-Latino, Afro-American but I am not attracted to white American features in general, it depends, since I do notice some cute white guys here and there but that’s just for a lil while then back to the Melanin Chronicles for me.

    Jay Ellis, Idris Elba, that dude with the big FO-HEAD that smashed Issa on Insecure, Anthony Joshua, Tyrese (some fine chocolate right here), Taye Diggs (side eyes), Blair Underwood, Leon Robinson (wit his fine azz), Morris Chestnut..etc (lawd I just had a chocolate rush, where my medicine at?) I just love chocolate men…I’m sorry. 😢

    Ive gotten in trouble in the past about being unapologetic about voicing what I want…and I’m still unapologetic about it…

    I’ve used those apps before. Ive used Grindr out of curiosity. It knows who its core market is and it sticks with it. The black boys I’ve seen on there are usually surrounded by white boys (I live close to the University here)and they make it clear what they want…I’m wasnt hurt by it. Okay, I did raise an eyebrow.

    Jackd is all about diversity and that’s good… especially when making more money than your competition is a factor….side eyes. (I’ve been deleted from Jackd too).. but seriously, Jackd is probably wayyy better than Grindr will ever be.

    1. @Jammy I loved all of this Bro. As someone who loves Black men, I could care less about those who put what they dont like in their profile more power to them. Surely no one goes on these Apps thinking they are going to find their soulmate. People are on here to F*ck-Point, Blank, Period! Most men are whores whether gay or str8 so we all know what we like sexually no need to play games like we are looking for a mfukka who likes poetry, long walks in the park and romantic dinners. When I was on these Apps years ago, I never put no whites but I did not want any whites or any Black dudes who said race was unimportant. Race is important to me. I am sure it is men of color who are hurt that these pastie white devils dont want them, other white men are not complaining. It’s naive for Jackd to be even taking a position on this when white supremacy and racism are so prevalent in our country and society right now that this gesture is nothing more than a publicity stunt. You cant make nobody like you, be glad they are up front with you. The secret for gay men that will ensure that men of all races pay you attention is just to build muscle. Muscles are more valuable than money, no matter how vapid, stupid, shallow you are, muscles will open many doors and those white devils who ignored you on Jackd and Grindr will be up in your face when they see you in person.

  10. Jamari, I honestly don’t know anymore. I’ve been on Adam4Adam and I’ve seen mostly no fats no fems on there and that was it. This whole race thing is really getting on my last nerve and I’m pretty much over it. These social justice warriors will now probably make air very much segregated because they will say that black people breathe in fresh air while caucasians only breathe in dirty polluted air. I mean there was a time where water was segregated and now it’ll be air next. IDK anymore, my head hurts from all of this racist bullshit. I’ve been hit on by white guys and I wasn’t too worried. In fact, I’ve been hit on by white guys in the past although I wouldn’t date them. It’s just the way it is.

  11. ^^^ Race is a hot issue, well it always has been but with the “newage millennial” movement, and everyone being able to post everythang online now, it’s funny. Everyone one is suddenly “Woke”

    Now, I wouldn’t call myself religious but there is a verse in the Bible that says, there is nothing new under sun…moreso…“That which has been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.”

    What this means to me is that everything I’m seeing now has always been, but to a lesser degree. These days, mankind is being overshadowed by their own ignorance. There has always been enmity between “the others” and “the privileged” since Cain slain Abel in the Bible (if you believe in that story, that is.)

    It’s like a repeat cycle every generation except now, technology is the veil of astonishment. You can’t deny this is a period of narrcassim reborn.

    Let’s be honest, Jackd and Grindr are really more convenient opportunities to narrow down who you want to fuk without too much effort but then there are some….

    Jackd is making a good step forward but I haven’t seen any plus sized men in their ads to my knowledge (correct me if I’m wrong, Im not for certain). They are diverse but their models seem to all be cute and in-shape all the time.

    Gay people come in all forms and not just skin color, body shape and mannerisms. We have ppl with disabilities too and other things. It got me to thinking about being gay and being paralyzed from the neck down, being gay with amputations…etc

    I remember chatting with a guy once that was deaf…and from reading his profile…it said..”I’m deaf, don’t waste me time!!” It made me wonder if someone had discriminated against him in some way or something but off of that..

    I don’t think this will go away, at least not in our life time, maybe never. It seems like the Egos of Young Gods lament when a single cloud is in the sky.

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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