“i’m known to walk alone,
but i’m alone for a reason…”
i always related to that beyonce lyric.
it always reminded me of my life.
so i never ran in the gay circles like that.
like i knew gays in the entertainment industry,
but they were all sloppy morons to me.
going to gay clubs every night,
fucking like it’s going out of style,
and living this “trust no one, but i want to be trusted” lifestyle.
sounds like a majority.
i never really connected to anyone like i did with star fox.
it helped that we both came out to each other on the same day.
i remember it like it was yesterday.
i was scared,
but we ending up being attached to the hip for 12 years.
i was able to talk to him about everything.
hell we often talked about our dreams and where we wanted to go in life.
we inspired each other.
he had this way of letting me know when i was wrong.
(without making me feel like a complete dumbass.)
that’s one thing i loved about him.
he made me feel comfortable.
he taught me the proper techniques of cleaning myself before sex,
how to give good head,
and the most important:
don’t be so quick to jump to the dump.
i’m jamari fox and i will drop you like a bad habit.”
i’m like runaway bride on these negros.
the first sign of drama and i’m gone.
at first it was hard if you were fine as hell,
i can leave you in the dust and keep on moving.
thing is star fox taught me how to forgive.
he also taught me that being bitter is not attractive.
i can admit i use to hold onto grudges.
not “out someone” or “tell their business” type of grudge.
my vice was “i am going to show you that you missed out on a great person”.
everyone likes to out each other once something “ends”.
i never understood that.
i don’t really fit in within this life.
ive always been “different” in every jungle ive wandered into.
i’ve encountered all kind of jackals,
and the “i wear my sexuality on my forehead and you will too”.
they all act like ratchet hood females.
will smile in your face,
dog you out,
try to fight you if you confront them,
and will try to fuck your wolf behind your back.
look if i wanted to be a female,
i’d get a sex change.
nothing seems sacred in gay friendships.
there is no loyalty.
well unless you are the masculine fantasy we all desire.
at that point,
you’re only a prop to be fucked and passed around sooner or later.
so i kept myself out the gay drama and focused on my upkeep.
when i do let you in my life,
i give you the invisible “rope” you don’t know about.
once you hang yourself with said invisible rope then it’s “bye bye”.
i will give you the courtesy of throwing it on the branch tho.
i guess being this person makes me different?
i just want real friends and i don’t want triflin’ homos taking that spot.