i’m grieving today

we never talk about grieving enough.
when you hear the word “grieve”,
you think it comes from mourning the death of a loved one.

“I grieved the loss of Star Fox.”

…but we don’t actually realize that we can grieve a living person.
we grieve the loss of people who are still alive in many different ways.
i’m grieving today

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the mercury retrograde has destroyed my “ships” that have sailed (done)

when i’m done; i’m done.
when jamari fox is turned off,
it’s really hard to turn him back on.
there are a few attentionistos who disrespected me and the foxhole in the past.
i’ve been sent their biceps,
thighs,
cheeks,
peens,
sex tapes,
and nothing will budge for me to find interest.

Add on how I’ve been killing it in therapy…

“i feel sorry for that man”.
this mercury retrograde has been an interesting one because i’ve been feeling the shifts.
there was a ps4 gaming group that i was in that i realized i outgrew.
i knew i was done when i fully removed myself from the group chat.
there was one member in the group that i was pretty close with,
but i realized early on they would side with them.
call it my foxy senses coming into play.
i was sent a whatsapp message after a month of being ignored.
there is no need to be nasty in your breakups…

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when your own friend(s) don’t believe in your dreams…

pursuing our dreams can be tough.
we are told we can accomplish anything but it ain’t easy,
i’ll font you that.
when our own parents and family don’t believe in us,
we turn to our friends to stand with us.
they pull out their pompoms and cheer you on from the sidelines.
it’s that support that help us to keep going.
what happens tho when a friend that you have supported in the past

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i’m done with jamari fox.

say what?

“I’m done with Jamari.”

that was one of the lines being read back to me by a mutual friend.
the other was from a recent ex-friend who i had to bark on.
there has been tension stirring within our group and it exploded the other night.
he violated,
tried being snarky with me,
and that led me to

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It’s Hard Out Here for “Friendships”

friendship-heart

what does “friendship” today mean?
is it meeting someone and forming a bond?
or…
is it a stand in until you can throw them under the bus?
i really don’t understand the animals in these forests.
we want these great “fantasy” relationships,
but we can’t even keep our friendships in order.
you love someone one minute,
and the next,
you are airing them out on all your social media accounts.
i had to wonder…

Are we all just being fake to each other?

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You Keep Losing With These Jackals (Let’s Try Winning!)

tumblr_nv3mikNp4U1uasiybo1_500don’t fuck up the good animals in your life.

you are so use to dealing with trash,
that when someone genuine enters your life,
you neglect them and disregard their kindness.
why is this the new way of living?
are we all that fucked up we appreciate evil than good now?

i had to wonder…

Why do they ruin good things?

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