so last night,
i didn’t cancel plans with work wolf.
he was pretty excited about it.
i couldn’t end it.
i woke up with “friend zone” for work wolf.
i felt better keeping my mind fixated on him being in “that place”.
so he wanted to just walk around the city and talk.
cool…
“so how was last night?”
“it was good.”
he told me how he got the best head last night.
it was from the last vixen he was fuckin’.
not the new one.
it was so good that he instantly slept like a baby.
“she sucked me up and then cleaned me up.”
“damn.
so this is why you are in such a good mood today.
all smiling and shit.
did she sleep over?”
“hell nah.”
so i wanted to get into that.
“do you treat all vixens like that?”
“yup.”
“what if they want to sleep over?”
“nope.
once i smash,
you gotta get out.
no laying around.
don’t even go in my kitchen.
you know how i am with these vixens jamari.
its all about fuckin and leaving me alone.”
i found that interesting.
so he told me thats how he is even in relationships with vixens.
he doesn’t do them long at all.
if the sex is bad,
he is not even interested anymore.
even if the vixen is pretty.
bad sex is a deal breaker.
that’s normal.
it is with me.
he also said sex is the main and only reason he gets with these vixens.
after its done,
leave him alone afterward.
so as we were walking,
i noticed a ton of muscular wolves in the city.
i was looking really good yesterday and some took notice.
one was walking by us,
and i said in a very low voice:
“damn he is fine…”
i didn’t break my neck or was vulgar.
as soon as i said that,
work wolf looked at me and said:
“what?
aight.
aight.
you can keep that on the dl.”
he knows i love muscles.
he said he was just kidding,
but he tried to play it off by laughing.
so i did it again with another fine wolf.
this time he looked at me real mad.
did i find his thumb screw?
so when he is breaking his neck with hoes,
its okay,
but i do it to a wolf and i can’t?
oh ok.
no.
we ended up at this store and this gorgeous shirt was there.
i wanted it.
“you want me to get it for you?”
“you sure?”
“just get the shirt.”
he paid for it.
i didn’t say anything.
i’m not stupid.
as we were walking to the train,
i noticed he was adjusting himself a lot.
“aww are your crabs biting you?”
he laughed.
“no.
the underwear you picked out for me are too small.
they been fuckin’ with me all day.”
i picked out those underwear for him a while ago.
i guess he decided to wear them tonight for the first time.
oops.
he is on vacation starting tomorrow until next week wednesday.
“plans tonight and the weekend?”
“gym all weekend.
i don’t know what i’m doing.
going to try to fuck that new vixen tomorrow tho.
i’ll see what my family is doing for weekend.
you?”
i told him it was rent weekend and i was “in between blessings” as hell.
i only have 80 dollars to my name.
“good.
i want you focused.”
when i went home,
i didn’t have him on my mind as i usually do.
i don’t have him on my mind now.
god has officially started working on me.
lowkey: i like when i’m like this.
i’m keeping it that way.
Do you have an ig?
Wow man I see myself in this situation sooo much so I’m intrigued to see where this will go. My work boo was out of the country for 2 weeks but returned this past week. When he first saw me I was at another coworkers desk assisting with my back turned. He came up from bend me and put his arms around me and pulled me close to him and says I missed you. The coworker I was helping was like WTF. I pretended like I was annoyed by him interrupting my conversation but his nonverbal reaction said: I don’t give a fuck. Which of course turns me the fuck on. This story is helping me. Work boo and I are friends and he talks about smashing but the other comments he makes have me thinking too. For example; I was like “I need you to do me a favor”. His response is “I’m not sucking your dick tonight” and laughs it. Tbh I don’t want a relationship with him; I just want to fuck once maybe twice. He told me he wanted to hang this weekend but his girl would be pissed since he just got back and she wants all of his time. It’s definitely an attention thing but it’s the fact that the attention they want is from the person THEY want it from NOT necessarily the person they are getting the attention from. Work boo shared that I’m the only person in our office that he fucks with; which is true; and I love it too. I shared a situation with him about our boss and how I feels targeted and he was giving me some insight. Then later that day he calls and says: You know what man fuck that “taking the high road” advice I gave you. “Better yet I will go in his office and fuck him up and we can run away together like Bonnie and Clyde”. We both laughed and then I said wait a minute which one of us is Bonnie MUTHAFUCKA!! He says “Duuuuh YOU”. Then he quickly changes the subject with “SHIT BUT ANYWAY” just as I was about to play along. He was at work and I was off so he had to get back to work. My birthday came while he was out of the country but he brought me back 5 gifts and surprised me with them AT WORK. He made sure to tell me that I’m the only person he brought shit for. I thanked him and made sure I showed my appreciation. As I walked away I mumbled “The gift I want I can’t get..” But he clearly heard me. His response, “DA FUCK!!” I didn’t acknowledge the response but was laughing on the inside.
This feels so much like me and my ex of eight years….we started off just like this for nearly a year…
also another thing,I guess I feel so moved by this story I was getting close to the point that you are at now with you’re Wolf,but I chickened out when it came to a relationship with my crush.
I just wanted to say that I’ve been following this blog for awhile. I use to read it off and on,but I became really intrigued by your Work Wolf saga. I’ve been through similar experiences,and i felt like you talked about something i could relate to. Honestly it felt good to know that i am no alone,nor am i the only one who thinks the way you do. I don’t know how young(or old) you are,but i know that for me being fairly young; I often look for advice and help in this life style.
Anyways back on topic. I think that you and Work Wolf can be good friends,depending on you.I feel like if you want him(as a partner),then you have to be blunt,but do it in a jokingly way. I kind of agree with what Jay is saying. Put him in a position where he cant lie or avoid the question.(I know its easier said then done..but ehh).
I’d say something like ” I can’t believe i actually use to have crush on you,I’m glad I friend zoned your ass” then do a cute giggle.
and hopefully he’ll be all “What does that mean?!”
and things will get heated up again. in the midst of the argument you need to hit him with that
” You obviously like me, because you wouldn’t have been bothered by what I just said”
Then if he gets even madder,pass it off as joke and be like “Bruh It’s a joke,chill ” but if he goes into a explanation about why he feels some type of way,keep prodding him for more info. If I were you i’d try a new playful strategy. I’d teeter between serious and joking,just to throw him off,but still be direct with the questions.
My way might sound childish or goofy,but I really want you to win..lol
Everyone deserves a happy ending.
Or you can play ratchet Jamari and make a few(emphasis on FEW) sexual jokes and see how he reacts,if he gets uncomfortable,then all you have to do is divert with a simple “No homo” or “Just kidding”. I really need you to get somewhere in this relationship and stop going in circles with him.
But Jamari please do not say NO HOMO…anything but that!!
Jamari im sorry ok..if you are moving on i think you should stop letting him buy you stuff..ITS A TRAP!! Ok it makes you feel good and gives you this sort of high of being taken care of but its a damn trap..unless its bestfriend buys like food..not undies
and you gotta find youself a man..if work wolf cant do if for you some else can..
I learned the hard way..he is a drug
Sincerely a shrewd friend..
even though this is some juicy ish
Im sorry cha but I had to pull it, no malice intent though. Its just that when we try to make ourselves believe one way that is not how we truly feel we do more damage. Reality will always be there to kick you in the ass if you ignore it. You have to own how you feel unapologetically. You know why you feel the way you do, accept your part but you know he is just as culpable. We all know what a true str8 wolf is and you know damn well they would not do what he does and how he does. Not because they are uncomfortable but because there would be no reason to.
If he is actually str8 he must have a severe emotional problem with connecting with women. Maybe thats why he seperates sex and emotion. With vixens its sec because hypotheticaly thats all he is sexually attracted to. However he is svared to mix that with emotion. Hypotheticaly he is not sexually attracted to you but he needs that emotional connect. To do it with vixens will cause him to be too involved beyond his comfortability. With his str8 boys they damn sure aint gon give him that, but with a gay man he can get it. He has no secual interest but he does not have the barrier of you being straight. You are like he said, a man with frmale emotions. He can emotionally connect with you and not intergrate sex. All this is theory.
On the other hand the nigga is curious and knows exactly what the fuck he is doing but is not comfortable enougy to take it there. However he wants you there enough in a way thats comfortable for him. He knows what he does to you dont think for one second he doesnt. That whole shit about fuckin vixens is to entice you will maintaining his heterosexuality.
What ever hypothesis is correct the commonality is everything surrounds what he is comfortable with. He is very self centered even if he doesn’t realize it. So you have to make it about you. Get him alone on your terms. Keep that nigga buying you shit, thats the damn fee for your time, shit. Also get bold but dont make it seem like its because you want him. Ask him questions as if you are Friend obseving his behavior that you dont understand. This is where you implement the cunningness of being a fox. You can get all your answers without laying your cards out and exposing yourself and making him uncomfortable.
The era of the fox begins when you take the power and never let it go. Since you said its gold digging era change it to the golden fox era. Thats you taking power. You have it mon cher but it takes work to keep it. Once you master this era you will get to the platinum and diamond fox era and thats the time where all your dreams have come to fruition. This is just the growing pains so you can break and repair now so you wont build on a faulty foundation. Go into the forest with your head up and these wolves will act accordingly. We all have our work to do but baby when its done the forest belongs to us! Laawd i wore myself out.
More wisdom from Jay! Meditate on this Jamari. “He knows what he does to you dont think for one second he doesnt.” “The era of the fox begins when you take the power and never let it go.”
^he definitely let me have it.
where else on the net can someone pull your card and not be insulting?
he made me take a look inside and do some self reflecting all day.
as long as I can take control,
this can be great in my favor.
^one last thing…
how does one not know I also don’t have an effect on him?
it’s not like he doesn’t react when I do something.
he gets all in his feelings if i ignore him.
we are both playing the same game with each other.
Well im glad you decided to continue going on. I hope you know you have a pattern now. You play it cool and feel good for a while, pull back somewhat or show interest elsewhere . Work wolf feels not all the attention on him so he says or does something bolder and less ambiguous. You catch it and he reels you in and has all of your attention. Its cool for a while until you advance a little. He pulls back or says something that stops you in your tracks. Then you are back in a slump and ready to call it all quits. Then you decide no you will go on and so continues this cycle.
Im glad you are in a better place but with him you dont stay there long. You want work wolf and you wont stop wanting him even though you try. One side of you feels you cant have him but the other side feels like you can. That margin of belief that you can have him is enough that you wont friendzone him.
Idk why your aren’t more bold with him. You coulda stated that he seems jealous when u lok at other guys. Why not keep the convo about you and him. Maybe you would put him in a position thay he cant lie.
Anyway you are at the beginning of your cycle again. I think this time you need to do what you can to keep the power on your side. Try as you might but the grey area friendship aint gon sayisfy you. You will keep repeating until you know for sure what work wolf deal is.
Well said!
Was that a read?
This is the loving truth and I cosign it. In fact, the “friend zone” only exists on the other side of the ” tried-and-it-didnt-work” zone. Until then, it can only be the “unrequited love but in denial zone”. We have all been there. Don’t linger long. It’s time to lay your feelings on the table, hear his clear response, and trust the friendship to survive the fallout. I continue to believe that the best of the likely outcomes is the ” DL friend I smashed but he is too much of a hoe/ pussy hound to be in a relationship with” zone. Then, you can begin the important interior work of figuring out why you chase the ones most likely to run away…just like the rest of us.
^this is such a beautiful comment Jay.
both jays got it right on the money.
my card was pulled and is definitely sitting on the table 😳😳
Jamari- Im glad this is reaching you. You know enough vixens to know how often they go from side chick to boo. But, are then surprised to learn that there is another side chick. As Mother Maya said so well, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
^hell from us getting closer,
im learning he be on the heavy fuck shyt.
I think dating in general,
especially in this life,
a fox can be a continuous “side chick”.
it’s not like people nowadays are faithful.
social media and sex apps have destroyed that.
Jay this comment was such a wake up call for me and I’m sure others reading.
There is a reason that he wants you to believe that he is desensitized to sex with those vixens…seems like he is having feelings for you but is conflicted about his desires with you. To compensate, he reaffirms to himself and you about his conquests, but do so in a manner to suggest that “He don’t love them hoes”…enjoy spending time…I say it’s time to introduce a third character in this storyline…someone who wants to take you out on a date..
It seems very strange how he always talks about his sex life with you, Like if it happens it happens but i’ve never had a friend so desperate to tell me about those things.
How does he not drive you insane? I would have went off if he said that “keep that on the dl” shit to me lol.
^he is annoying d.
Jamari I think everyone who post comments on your blog only wants the best for you and wants you to succeed. In some ways I think alot of us have adopted you as our online relative. I don’t know your age but I’m sure I’m much older than you and have been in alot of similar situations, made some of the same mistakes and triumps. One of the things all of us can relate to is “this life aint eazy”. Dealing with men period regardless of sexuality often is a big can of worms. Sex, feelings, relationships, friendships only adds to the size of the can. Here is a golden nugget for you. The secret to attracting anything is to shine bright. Taking care of yourself above everything else adds to your light and more light illuminates the path that needs to be followed. Taking care of yourself doesn’t necessarily mean pampering and physicallities, moreso realizing that behind the voices in your head is your authentic self waiting for you to realize he’s there and to listen to what he has to say which is you are not your thoughts, you are light and the more you feed your inner light by telling the thoughts you will only recognize Positivity the dimmer Negativity gets,which leads to you smiling more, looking better, making better decisions, seeing bullshyt coming a mile away, which inturn makes you attractive. You will feel it, others will see it and want to be around the light. This light transfers into business as well as social but all starts by realizing you are not what you think. Thoughts should be a vehical for creativity, analytical planning, memory recall, in other words reference. The person you are is not what you think, you are the the person behind the thoughts, the thinker, you get to control what you think and are more clear about who you really are, what you really need and where to get it from. People are moths to the flame everyone that comes to see the brightness doesn’t always have good intentions but as the thinker and not the thoughts you see clearly and can decifer intentions better avoiding obstacalls that threaten do dim your light. Take from this what you will. The (thinker) that I am wanted to share some (thought) with you.
I ment to post this on the topic “the fire beez hot” my bad
Sooooo…. In order to meet someone you need to be out on the street dressed to impress. If they were watching you with him, they certainly can approach you if you are alone. Walking and window shopping is free. Keep your business to yourself because he doesn’t want to share you but he is giving you what you want either. Go, meet, play.
^i don’t get why they don’t approach me when I’m alone.
no one ever approaches me when I’m alone.
yet I’m with him,
or anyone else,
and wolves are all in my face.
Im sorry cha but I had to pull it, no malice intent though. Its just that when we try to make ourselves believe one way that is not how we truly feel we do more damage. Reality will always be there to kick you in the ass if you ignore it. You have to own how you feel unapologetically. You know why you feel the way you do, accept your part but you know he is just as culpable. We all know what a true str8 wolf is and you know damn well they would not do what he does and how he does. Not because they are uncomfortable but because there would be no reason to.
If he is actually str8 he must have a severe emotional problem with connecting with women. Maybe thats why he seperates sex and emotion. With vixens its sec because hypotheticaly thats all he is sexually attracted to. However he is svared to mix that with emotion. Hypotheticaly he is not sexually attracted to you but he needs that emotional connect. To do it with vixens will cause him to be too involved beyond his comfortability. With his str8 boys they damn sure aint gon give him that, but with a gay man he can get it. He has no secual interest but he does not have the barrier of you being straight. You are like he said, a man with frmale emotions. He can emotionally connect with you and not intergrate sex. All this is theory.
On the other hand the nigga is curious and knows exactly what the fuck he is doing but is not comfortable enougy to take it there. However he wants you there enough in a way thats comfortable for him. He knows what he does to you dont think for one second he doesnt. That whole shit about fuckin vixens is to entice you will maintaining his heterosexuality.
What ever hypothesis is correct the commonality is everything surrounds what he is comfortable with. He is very self centered even if he doesn’t realize it. So you have to make it about you. Get him alone on your terms. Keep that nigga buying you shit, thats the damn fee for your time, shit. Also get bold but dont make it seem like its because you want him. Ask him questions as if you are Friend obseving his behavior that you dont understand. This is where you implement the cunningness of being a fox. You can get all your answers without laying your cards out and exposing yourself and making him uncomfortable.
The era of the fox begins when you take the power and never let it go. Since you said its gold digging era change it to the golden fox era. Thats you taking power. You have it mon cher but it takes work to keep it. Once you master this era you will get to the platinum and diamond fox era and thats the time where all your dreams have come to fruition. This is just the growing pains so you can break and repair now so you wont build on a faulty foundation. Go into the forest with your head up and these wolves will act accordingly. We all have our work to do but baby when its done the forest belongs to us! Laawd i wore myself out.
^I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!
Is there a way to get him alone and you show him the goods like in the dressing room or his home. Sexy underwear and fresh smell. Drive him crazy.
I’ve been saying from the beginning ….. Run Run As Fast As You Can. Been There Have The Tee Shirt. While All Your Attention Is On Work Wolf Your Missing Out On That Wolf Who Sees You Everyday!
You know this could be a series right?
Hell, already feels like I STAY tuned in… LBVS you could teach Tyler Perry a thing or two.
It always feels like all of this – the back and forth and the ups and downs – is leading to somewhere good with you two.
but i wonder… if he came at you on some serious stuff, wanted you to be his introduction into the lifestyle, could you handle it?
^lol @ Tyler Perry.
every gay in his shows is always some hiv carrying closet case.
honestly I don’t know.
i want to keep us as friends tbh.
we are both drawn to each other,
but it needs to stay that way.
just friends,
because I may not be able to handle what happens after.
just being honest.