The Fire Beez Hot

giphyyou gotta be careful what you ask for.
god will provide you with it,
but it will come with a price.
if you’re lucky,
the price might b absolutely free of charge.
in some cases,
you may have to give up something….

as you know,
gold has to go through the fire before its purified.
when i said this was the “gold digga era”,
god heard my request.
this season has been an emotional one.

my mi
my work wolf
my job

my money
my emotions
my crazy

everything has been through the fire.
some of it was self inflicted while the rest wasn’t.
the day before i was really in the pits.
i wasn’t going to do anything crazy,
but i was really burnt out.

so i asked for this.
i can’t get mad because god gave it to me.
it sucks the life outta me,
but i’m being molded into a better and stronger fox.
nothing in life comes easy.
my life hasn’t been easy.
my wants and desires damn sure haven’t been easy.
every season is one for growth.
there are many lessons with every situation ive been in this year.

one thing that comforts me is the emails and comments.
the people who hit me up and say:

“i feel you.”

i know that i’m not alone.
when you already feel alone,
and making what feels like a ton of mistakes,
its comforting to know there are a legion of “fuck ups” who get it.
it also feels good to hear tough love as well.
you can’t evolve with “yes” people.
i asked for the “GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER” as well.
don’t think i never appreciate those comments either.

tumblr_mmyazrxEn11rs6xqoo1_500so i’m going to fuck up.
i might pour the gasoline around me and play with matches.
its life and i’m living it the best way that i can.
every fuck up at a time.

lowkey: i been thinking about the new season for the foxhole.
it needs to be “gold digga” but a little more turnt up:
tumblr_lfoupnnxbA1qdtmwjo1_500coming sooner than you think.

14 thoughts on “The Fire Beez Hot

  1. Don’t worry Jamari you got the foxhole here you’re not going through any of your troubles alone. You never know what post is saving someone reading your blog from whatever they are going through as well.

    1. ^and this is why I continue to do what I do.
      yea i found myself in this,
      But at least im honest enough to admit my mistakes and where I mess up at.
      this can either go real good or be a disaster.

  2. Jamari I think everyone who post comments on your blog only wants the best for you and wants you to succeed. In some ways I think alot of us have adopted you as our online relative. I don’t know your age but I’m sure I’m much older than you and have been in alot of similar situations, made some of the same mistakes and triumps. One of the things all of us can relate to is “this life aint eazy”. Dealing with men period regardless of sexuality often is a big can of worms. Sex, feelings, relationships, friendships only adds to the size of the can. Here is a golden nugget for you. The secret to attracting anything is to shine bright. Taking care of yourself above everything else adds to your light and more light illuminates the path that needs to be followed. Taking care of yourself doesn’t necessarily mean pampering and physicallities, moreso realizing that behind the voices in your head is your authentic self waiting for you to realize he’s there and to listen to what he has to say which is you are not your thoughts, you are light and the more you feed your inner light by telling the thoughts you will only recognize Positivity the dimmer Negativity gets,which leads to you smiling more, looking better, making better decisions, seeing bullshyt coming a mile away, which inturn makes you attractive. You will feel it, others will see it and want to be around the light. This light transfers into business as well as social but all starts by realizing you are not what you think. Thoughts should be a vehical for creativity, analytical planning, memory recall, in other words reference. The person you are is not what you think, you are the the person behind the thoughts, the thinker, you get to control what you think and are more clear about who you really are, what you really need and where to get it from. People are moths to the flame everyone that comes to see the brightness doesn’t always have good intentions but as the thinker and not the thoughts you see clearly and can decifer intentions better avoiding obstacalls that threaten do dim your light. Take from this what you will. The (thinker) that I am wanted to share some (thought) with you.


  3. Jamari I’m so glad to see you back to your old self frankly I was worried like hell about you on your last entry its like every time you zone out like that I get the bubble guts lol! But any who I’m happy to see you back friend in my head muah!

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