JESUS CHRIST, I FUCKIN’ HATE GAY PEOPLE!

scared you with that title, huh?
no, not me.
the enemies of the foxhole…
or are they are they really lost souls in need of the foxhole?
i never got it or understood it really.
i was asking star fox today why do people do this?
he couldn’t answer my question.
so maybe i can ask you…

Why is he saying “fuck him“….

….when he really thinking “damn, i want to fuck him”?

my department is right where my coworker wolf works.
more staring and trying to get my attention.
how fun.
laced with sarcasm.
so i guess i will reunite with him tomorrow.
i was told back then he hated anyone he thought was gay.
i guess he figured out with me.
you know what they say: gay knows gay.


but, it still bothers me that he treats me the way he does.
i think part of me is attracted to him.
but, another part of me resents him.
i don’t know if he is gay, for sure, but he sure does make my alarms go off.
someone asked me if i thought he was gay.
i didn’t answer.
either way, i will play it cool and still be polite tomorrow.
i’m there to do my job and leave.
heavy ignore on the way.

i remember one time back in the day,
this lesbian was telling me how a dude on her block was cruel to her.
he would tell people how she was gay and spread all her business.
he was so nasty and mean.
well why one night she dragged me to this d/l spot.
we walk in and there was the same dude,
kissing on this fox,
who happened to her friend.
he looked at her and his face hit the floor.

smfh.
he left instantly.
he waited a good hour in his car as they caught up.

but, i often wondered why people do this?
look at these pastors who preach homophobic rants,
but end up with a nice boyfriend in the cut.
why do people who knowingly sleep with men play they don’t?
they always end up looking like an asshole in the end.
their business is always exposed somehow, way, shape, or form.
you find out they been dicking down/getting dicked down.
or, you find out later on that they liked you but just didn’t understand why they did.
but why all the hate?
why not just shut up and keep it moving?
is it a defense mechanism?
is it fear?
or, is it ignorance?

i started to wonder…

Would you let someone,
who was homophobic,
a chance to date you once they accept themselves?

… even if they apologized?

12 thoughts on “JESUS CHRIST, I FUCKIN’ HATE GAY PEOPLE!

  1. I think everyone struggles at times with dealing with sexuality Especially black ppl , and sometimes its how we are raised and what we are used to seeing, and then for people bottling up their true feelings and being afraid or scared of being themselves for so long causes frustration, confusion, and anger. I personally dated a guy who was on the DL he was in a battle with coming to terms with who he is and what he liked, there was times while having sex he would stop and just start crying in anger for feeling guilty, he was a preachers kid, and he always thought he was going to hell for loving another man. so I mean it all depends, ya know… ok im done i dont wanna ramble.

    1. That’s some real shit right there. On some real shit, I cut off my feelings altogether so I never cried, I’d just get up and leave. No words or nothing.

    2. Oh fuck no. I aint having that shit. I’m hittin that ass and I hear that nigga crying and not because he’s in pain, oh hell no. He would cry his ass right of the door too. Downlow dudes are too much.

  2. Would i give a recovering self-hater a chance? My immediate answer is no but honestly it depends on how fine he is. I went on a date with a guy who hadn’t started doing anything physically with men until 6 months prior. He wasn’t really that attractive. Only slept with one person. No gaydar at all. Wasn’t jaded by the shade and drama that the rest of us are. He was a clean slate. But at the same time he wasn’t comfortable. I think that’s a big deal to me, how comfortable you are. I can tell when a guy is insecure. Their hyper awareness of themselves is evident. All of that frustration and confusion going on internally doesn’t really turn me on. My ex was a self-hater come to think of it. He was an only child and grew up in the church (the source of a lot of self hatred amongst black SGL men) and there were expectations. I think he still battles with those feelings today. I learned quickly that being there for someone who’s in the recovery phase does not mean that when he becomes self actualized, that he will want to be comfortable and happy with you. Television makes it seem that way but it isn’t so. You’re more so a tool towards getting there as opposed to something to work towards.

  3. Never! Homophobic homosexuals must be identified, isolated, and destroyed. No mercy, whatsoever.

    Never ever fuck, date, or entertain cowards, the confused, or the conflicted. It never ends well.

    Think long, hard, and deep about dealing with someone who is ashamed of themselves, or worse, ashamed of what they do with you. Who got time for all that unnecessary angst and drama?

    Plenty of men out there who love being a man and being with men to waste time with some scared, confused, conflicted, or paranoid dudes.

  4. No, I have to be with in a relationship with a man who accepts himself for who he is. I won’t allow a man to cause a scene because he’s not confortable with himself. It makes no sense for a man who has known his sexuality for 10 years to still not be confortable in his own skin; it no excuse. Self-hate is the worst hate because it’s an emotion that has to be delt with, it can’t be ignored. It may go away for a short time peroid, but it will return with a vengance as soon as he meets a man he’s interested in. I don’t mind being with a dude who lies to others about his sexuality because he just may not be ready for people to know his business, I’m like that also so I can’t be mad at him for that, but as long as it doesn’t affect anybody it’s cool. It’s nothing wrong with being discreet. For me, even though I always have had feelings for females, but when I hit ages of 10 and 11 I started developing feelings for fellow boys. I didn’t ignore or deny those feelings because I liked it. I just didn’t know what title to give myself because I liked both sexes. I didn’t realize I was bi until 15. I’ve never cried about or nothing because I don’t care what people think, not even my family. The main problem with is men in this life is they want to please other people, mostly fathers because they want to prove to them that they raised them to be men, which I don’t understand because a man’s sexuality has not a damn thing to do with how much of a man he is. In my opinion, a man is someone who handles his responsibilites and is able to provide for himself, not someone who has the most money and fucks every female that walks by.

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