I believe every comment,
whether negative or positive,
can help you grow.
I believe in constructive criticism and that not EVERYONE will see your point of view.
I also believe some people pull things out their ass and want to drop all their personal shit on you.
I was in a meeting earlier today and I got the buzz on my phone that I had new messages.
I am always excited to read good comments, but then I saw a comment that… well…
…SHIT…
well let’s just say I was in for it…
I wanted to take the opportunity, before I finally leave this self-hating and homophobic site, to express my frustration and disappointment with you, your readers, and those like you. Day in and day out, you speak so very highly of masculine gay and DL men, and their ability to hide their sexual orientation from those around them. You degrade effeminate men, going so far as to say Brandon White deserved his vicious attack for simply possessing evidence that men who had *willingly* slept with him were attracted to men. You post photos of seemingly heterosexual men, while virtually laughing (and inviting your readers to laugh) at young men and boys who exhibit feminine attire or tendencies. And even here, in your most recent post, you demean a man who made the oh-so-terrible mistake of asking you to identify your sexual orientation.
Do you know why you constantly find yourself in this predicament? Do you know why you write post, after post, after post, about your loneliness? Because you are a self-loathing coward, and because you deserve it. You, and those like you, perpetuate myths about black masculinity. You, and those like you, invite attacks (whether verbal or physical) on those that don’t meet strict and altogether ridiculous standards for who qualifies as a man. You, and those like you, accuse feminine men of being the “pussies” and the “bitches” when, in reality, these men have more courage in the tips of their fingers than you do in your entire body.I am a 25-year-old openly gay black man. I attend Harvard Law School. I am in a committed, healthy relationship with a college-educated and employed black man, who is also openly gay. We may not be the spitting image of the tatted men you idolize on this site. Hell, we probably wouldn’t even meet your insane standards for masculinity. But we’re incredibly happy, in no small part because we live open and honest lives. You, with your lies, your deceit, and your hate (what else would you call not sharing your sexuality, and demeaning those who do?) are entitled to one thing alone. What your entire website is a testament to: hopelessness. – Be
I just walked in the house so I was going to address this before I went to bed.
*************************
When you put yourself out there, you open yourself up for criticism.
When you say what you like or even attracted to, people will have an opinion.
You can never escape being judged.
It is life in this lifestyle so get a thick skin and get use to it.
I have explained why I made this site countless times.
I feel that some people see what they want to see.
When I “degrade” feminine men as I was told, I am only talking about the messy ones.
I even speak about messy DL Wolves.
Shit, I was even spoken out about messy Vixens..
I. DO. NOT. LIKE. MESSY!
It left me to wonder did Be only see what he wanted to see in my posts?
Was he, or anyone else, speaking out from their own insecurity even though they claimed they have none?
Are we just two separate people who have two separate opinions?
Does what I like really mean “self loathing”?
When I put up pictures of Foxes and Wolves, am I speaking for a “hopeless” place?
Be – I thank you for your comment and I’m sorry your stay here was a brief one.
I am also sorry you could not see the good in me and my readers.
I have amazing people who comment and even though they have a difference of opinion on certain things in the lifestyle,
it doesn’t mean no one here loves themselves.
It just means this lifestyle offers different things and wants in different people and personalities.
So, I really do not know what to tell you and I’m at the point in my life where I don’t even care.
I’ll just end it with:
Yawn. He had to add the Harvard Law school else this would be a case of a boring ol noise making queen. The law tramp gave him some minutes
“I attend Harvard Law School.”
*Yawn*
Be makes some valid points, but I’ve never quite grasped the need to respond negatively to someone’s post/blog/vid/pic etc. If it ain’t my thing, I keep it moving, NAHMEEN? But what really got me stuck was the Harvard reference. Entitlement? Validation? Whatever the purpose for mentioning Harvard in an otherwise cogent opinion…let’s just say the effect was lost on me. The AFFECT however, was not. In fact, it brought be back to my southern roots and an addage my grandmother (in her infinite wisdom) was fond of using. Her response to this diatribe would simply be…”Child, a hit dog WILL holla”.
Keep it moving Jamari.
So lets discuss the FACT that everyone does NOT believe in having their PRIVATE BUSINESS PUBLIC, so just because everyone does not parade their sexual preference in the street doesn’t make them a coward. I mean hell I don’t discuss what chicks suck my dick, much less which dudes – that’s my business.
It constantly annoys the shit out of me that primarily feminine males attempt to portray themselves as HEROES and VICTIMS at the same time. I mean honestly if you choose to make a spectacle of yourself, why the hell get upset when someone throws tomatoes because they don’t like the show.
I know a host of individuals with varying sexual preference and mannerisms, interestingly enough ONLY the effeminate dudes who are EXTRA about who they are seem to become targets of extreme ridicule and then other dudes who are chill homosexuals catch a backlash because of the negative perception everyone has of the “FAG” or “SISSY” dude who goes to extremes to say he is secure in who he is, but then always spouts about not needing anyone’s approval. So if you don’t need approval, shut the fuck up and do you and keep it moving.
At the end of the day people have a poor image of what it means to be homosexual, because the image of a homosexual male is overly characterized as being a DUDE who is TRYING TO BE A CHICK, which is not the case.
So how about “Be” start a campaign for that shit, a little calm your ass down, so that people who are not living their life like they are performing for Cirque du Soleil can live and fuck who they want in peace.
Dont worry J, If you listen closely while a hater is doing what they do best, you’ll actually here them say, “Damn! Why do have to be so good?”
I guess Harvard Law is easy, because Be had too much time on his/her hands. Its always interesting to me when people take the time out of their “busy” lives to give you their opinion when you didnt even ask for it, let alone on YOUR blog site. I always thought if you didnt like something, its better to just move on instead of causing a scene. I guess common sense isnt so common and you cant buy class, even with a Harvard Law degree.
We were born men and some of us are attracted to just that, MEN. If I wanted a female I would go out and get one, but since I like men, I want to be with someone that looks and acts like a man. It really cracks me up when I hear these messy fem dudes go off after you turn them down about how you think your better than everybody and/or nothing is good enough for you etc. Be’s post was the same concept in the fact that another bitter queen who didnt get his way with this blog…
good riddons
(stands up and claps hands) Good comment bro.
Attention whore <<<< that's all I got to sum this Be character up (besides everyone else already said just about what I was going to say)
You and your readers have allowed the tone to overshadow the formative and potentially uplifting tone of this message: until you are capable of loving yourself the expectation that someone will ever love you is hopeless. Furthermore the ensuing comments fail to engage with the author’s true message, a message with which I firmly agree. As long as you reject your identity, you will live in a perpetual state of unhappiness. How can you find someone to love you when you have no love for yourself? How can you expect someone to trust you when you live a lie? This comment was clearly meant to inspire a moment of introspection, and to denote a reader’s frustration with your ridicule of those that you should take a moment to admire. The men you describe as messy have one virtue you clearly lack: honesty. As such, it is beyond inappropriate to judge those that will likely, one day, find what you seek, love. To put it simply, until you can love you for you, no one will ever love you.
Messy is a term used to discribe people who don’t carry themselves properly in this lifestyle. We’re not not saying that someone is messy just because they’re honest with themselves and others. Anybody can be messy; closted, out, feminine, masculine, it doesn’t matter. What do you mean by; ” As long as you reject your identity, you will live in a perpetual state of unhappiness.” Jamari discribes himself as a gay, masculine man who likes other masculine men and that’s his identity. You’re trying to be so smart, but yet you’re so dumb. I bet it took you all day to type this paragraph huh? Stop standing in the kitchen fanning yourself, you obviously can’t stand the heat, so get out of the kitchen. Nobody is going to change for you either. SMH.
My patience has kind of ran out with dudes like you who come in here randomly with the audacity to think you know a damn thing about anyone.
All I hear is a host of assumptions and to be frank, it makes you look a little self-righteous and ignorant.
What identities are we rejecting?
Who here is living a lie?
Who said or indicated they have no love for themselves?
Enlighten us.
I think he has nice eyes and he has a sexy deep ass voice, that’s all.
You said before that you created this site you could vent and communicate with people who are just like you and are intersted in the same things as you, but some people don’t get it.
S/N: Chris bosh looks good in that gif. He has sex appeal, but his mannerisms kill me. I’ll still pipe him down though.
Chris Bosh? Really? I am lost as to where the sex appeal is located on his person. Maybe its in his wallet?
Must be a wolf thing.
I like his eyes and his voice is sexy.
Eyes? What about them? Voices I can understand.
I second that vain there is nothing appealing about that over grown fox but his cash… But some of his team mates can get the pudding lol
Lol not the pudding! I mean she’s not ugly. I just don’t see it.
…….. Before I go in on Be I can see why he felt that way. In this life style hell in this world we separate our selves in groups. In this case Br chose the whole fem masc thing which is an ongoing topic in our community. Just because we laugh and joke about messy fishy queens does not mean that we in no right hate or dislike all of them. I remember a post where Jamari mentioned sizzle and that became a masc vs fem post. I said I wouldent go to sizzle caue it’s to many people and to much and the flood gates opened. What kills me is it always takes one bad apple to spoil the bunch I’m pretty sure there are fems on this site commenting and enjoying our crazy times like the rest of us. (now I’m going in) Be dont get mad or upset about comments or topics that you think target you. It’s not Jamari’s fault that the majority of us can pass a men in public and you get the sissy tittle. You and yours go to Harvard so take some time to evaluate your relationship and see if y’all realy happy. Instead of comming out of the blue with a comment and saying good by why not read all of them. I’m pretty sure if I saw you and your boo on the street I would prob think to my self I wonder who sticking who in that relationship or do they sither together lol. And finally don’t throw degrees out because I if you have noticed most of us on here either have a degree or in college to get a degree. Jamari Be was prob on her period and needed some midol
Good one Omg lol
That clown just found out you fuck with the fox den you get mauled lol
Guys I applaud you all for answering some intellectually and keeping it cute as it relates to this “Be” character. I think that whomever he is should as Random said educate us on his views, because we are always open to new ideas. Moreover I feel he may feel like the “mean girls” complex towards us, where he feels that we pick on the fem dudes and that not true some of readers and people who comment are fem dudes. Duh!
It’s scary how, despite all that he said, he made sure to cite his Harvard Law degree as if it qualifies him as being on some higher plane. People who do that tend to find validation in material and monetary things as opposed to internal qualities. That’s no different than boasting about how you sleep with all of these attractive men as if it doesn’t make you look like a whore. A boasting about a degree on a site geared towards men and this way of life doesn’t mean much. Especially since they cannot prove it.
But anyway, I am an openly gay, self-loving individual who’s friend’s with and supports the most feminine amongst us… And I’m still single… Explain that? I mean I understand where the critism is coming from but what Be failed to realize is this site has MANY topics that we’ve discussed and gone through for YEARS! And a lot of it is support of self development of everyone. But we’re all entitled to express our opinions.
I appreciate that he has an opinion and is bold enough to express it. That’s refreshing—even if it is wrong.
I understand his point on issues. For instance, the men we idolize.
However—.
I could have done without the criticism. I won’t bother pointing out the hypocrisy in his message because that should be obvious. However, it’s always curious to me that those who proclaim to be so “confident” in who they are and what they believe feel it’s necessary and okay to point out what they deem as flaws in other people. It comes from a place of insecurity, in my opinion.
I could be wrong, but I feel he resents this website and the views of those who post here because he sees those “idealistic preferences” as the antithesis of who he is. No one wants to feel undesireable.
However, perhaps instead of being the typical, “oppressed” homosexual, writing an entire message criticizing those whose opinion differ from his, capitalizing on their seemingly “ugly” characteristics” and boasting about how “more” intelligent he is that those who post on this website, he should have opted for the more progressive approach: educating those on his opinion and why he feels the way he does.
A lot of hot air for nothing.
I’m sorry this man left the site, he clearly has very strong views, and knows how to express them, also good luck to him and his partner. I think he came down on you way to harshly, and couldn’t see the site for what it is, nor see that this is but a part of you.
I’m an African American gay man, who didn’t go to Harvard, I went to Christ Church Oxford (England) both very good schools, but at an early age I learned manners.
That was just well put together slander. If we all saw the world in black & white than the place we inhabit would be miserable and boring. He had his opinion and you (we) have ours.
THat educated fool….he got issue with himself and he is taking it out on you. I am not going to say anything else about that letter because its a FOOL!