I’m The One Who Owns That Pipe. The Bitch He Is With Is Just A Stand In.

Miranda was what you would call:
a low down dirty slut bag of a bitch kind of ho“.

We all know those types.
She would mess with various Wolves to fulfill her need for penis.
She did not care if they were single, married, or on their death bed,
she would be ready to suck and fuck with no hesitation.
He just had to be cute, paid, and have some bomb ass pipe.
To other Vixens she was poison and you know what?
She didn’t give a shit about her reputation.
If her name was Mark, we would applaud her conquests.
Is it a contradiction?

*****

Miranda is the standard “a low down dirty slut bag of a bitch kind of ho” in the Vixen world.
You see her coming, you put your menstrual blood in his lasagna to put a spell on him.
But what about the Jackal named Mark doing the same?
Those same Vixens want to sit up and hear his illicit tales of “D/L Wolves Who Steal Booty In The Midnight Hours“.
Does he get a pass for his messing with married and taken Wolves?
I had to ask…

Is it okay to be a ho in this lifestyle?

I recently met a Jackal that I thought was a Fox.
Boy, did he have me fooled.
He was playing his role pretty well, but things always come to light after a few weeks and a few drinks.
He was messing with an array of married and taken Wolves throughout his neighborhood (and half of Brooklyn and Jersey).
He was the go to for good head and easy ass because he didn’t care who it was,
in his words,
he was working on his skills for when his Baller Wolf comes.
His game plan was to have the bomb head (since he liked to do that more).
A Vixen I know asked him if he would ever mess with her man if he found out he was D/L?
Without hesitation, he said “YES”.
Without hesitation, I said “BYE”.
Look, a ho is a ho is a ho!
They have no hesitation in sucking my Wolf when my back is turned.

In this lifestyle, the pickings are slim.
There are not a lot of Wolves to choose from,
and if you live in an urban community,
you know chances of meeting a Wolf who is with a Vixen is relatively high.
But, is it okay to mess with Wolves who are with Vixens?
I have messed with a couple Wolves who were in relationships with Vixens.
I knew what it was and never looked for him to leave her.
It was just a “good time” and I got my satisfaction.
Wasn’t right, but at the time I did not give a shit.

I have heard the argument that they are just “using” her.

“She is just a prop.”
“He really likes niggas so it is okay!”
“At the end of the day, it is all about fucking. As long as we do it safe, we good.”

But, what is really the difference between a “Miranda” and a “Mark”?
Does it still make it okay to go and mess with a Vixen’s man because he happens to like a side of Fox tail too?
Or, is it an unspoken law between Foxes, Hybrids, and Wolves in our black book of hook ups?

I started to wonder as a Fox and these bi-Wolves who happen to be in transition (or maybe not).
He is fine as hell and is a relatively good person,
but because of his insecurities,
he is with a Vixen.
Chances of him leaving her for me is (semi) great,
but the point is he is attached to someone else,
regardless of what parts they have they get fucked with.
Is is still right to justify?
Do I enjoy it for what it is worth and move on?
Or, is this what I can expect?
I’m not saying I want to be out and proud with a Wolf,
but why are all the Wolves who are my type (and everyone else’s apparently) happen to be creeping on their Vixens?
I had to ask…

When is it right to mess with someone’s Wolf?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

49 thoughts on “I’m The One Who Owns That Pipe. The Bitch He Is With Is Just A Stand In.

  1. Whether we want to face it or not, a lot more of us are can be labeled hoes than we care to admit. That’s not to say that someone who sleeps around can’t have standards or some type of code (married, taken, or former or current boyfriends of friends are all off limits).

    I can respect a person who’s upfront about it more than someone who is duplicitous and uses sex to manipulate.

    Let’s be real 9 out of 10 of us can be labeled hoes by someone’s standards. Every one of us has engaged in some hoeish behavior,

    1. Haven’t been on here to post in a minute and on the run right now but just had to take a quick second to say to you, Jay, just how refreshing it is to see some honesty. I couldn’t agree with you more. Having said that, I think promiscuity is relative. It’s easy for one who’s only getting some once every two months to, hypocritically, call someone who’s getting it once a week a whore. As for doing it with someone in a relationship, I think it’s tacky, but it happens all the time.

      I have been in situations where the other person was supposed to be single only to find out, after we had done something, that there was another person, Once, yes, in a one-night stand, I had put on the condom and was ready to insert, when the brother said he could not say because he had to get back to the hospital. I asked what was going on and he replied that his wife had just given birth to their child and he needed to return to the hospital. Although I was stunned at what he said, at that point, I was hard as a rock and just plunged right in and fucked him hard. Another time, a dude and I were getting undressed and he mentioned he had to go get his baby’s clothes out the dryer and I said, “What!??!” so loudly in shock that he, litterally, jumped out of his skin. And, we aborted everything right there. I know some on here will probably consider me a hoe for these two instances of one-night stands I mentioned, but hey, they happened and I am not ashamed.

      As for guys leaving their wives, girlfriends or male lovers for people with whom they cheat: I would venture that to say that I think that is rare. I think people who cheat on a partner don’t really respect those on the side and will cheat on them, too. If they do leave the principal, it’s usually to play the field and certainly not to stay with the other person for the long term. Of course, there are exceptions.

  2. I want anyone who reads this (lurkers included) to respond if they know of ANY man that has left his girlfriend for a man, much less the dude he was fucking on the side.

    Please give some of these dudes hope! Lmao!

    I swear I’m not trying to “throw shade” as they call it, but what is the precedence for it? I have never been that deluded.

    You are fucking him period! He more than likely has some type of emotional connection to her. Even if he did love you, if he was strong enough to dump his girl for you he probably wouldn’t have had one in the first place. He places others perceptions of him far above you!

    I’m done….for now. Lol

  3. I will confess that I am guilty of that, but I didnt do it out of spite or because I know I can. A lot of times it just occurs. Attraction is tricky and situational. Love itself is messy, so if you cant decipher through what genuine or fantasy then you may end up broken.

  4. Now that Jay Z, Will Smith, T.I., 50 Cent, and to some extent, Queen Latifah have come out in support of gay marriage, do u think more of those in the urban community will be more open (perhaps not out) about their preference?

    1. ^that is an excellent question.
      Props Butter.

      In my personal opinion, to an extent.
      Obama could say it and it goes over
      people’s heads.
      Jay says it and it is suddenly cool.
      Entertainment artists are the cool kids so whatever they say is “in”.
      But we will see…

    2. Nope! All of those people are rich and somewhat separated from society and not homosexual (aside from Queen I guess).

      Legalizing gay marriage is not going to change perceptions and that happens to be what men who are not out care the most about. Most of them never rarely have aspirations to marry a man in the first place, but we don’t ask those questions.

      I highly doubt your local black church and pastor will be marrying Deray and Darnell. Hell I can name five churches that STILL don’t allow women to wear pants and women will be the first to check you.

  5. Jamari, I’m glad you told ol dude piece out. I wouldn’t want a Jackal anywhere near me either.

    Hell Nah, it aint ok to mess with some else’s man and it’s no ok to be a hoe either, whether it’s a male or female. In this lifestyle, if a man is being a hoe, he will be placed in the same category as a female because of the sterotypes that come with this lifestyle. Hoes are very manipulative and dangerous. They will do whatever it takes to get their man and they don’t give a damn if he’s in a relationship or not. A downlow man will never leave his woman for another man, I don’t care what the situation is, the woman will always win because she can provide more, it’s that simple. If a dude wants to be on the downlow and use women as his cover, let him do so, but it’s up to the fox, hybrid or wolf to decide if he wants to keep pursuing him. I would never mess around with a fox or a hybrid who is in a commited relationship, even if she is he’s cover or not. I’m not that dude that’s going to ruin a happy home just for a night of good sex. It’s not a good look.

  6. My personal experience with this is that I’ve been involved with two guys from my past that we lived together, others knew we were together and now they are both married to women, and are into the church! I was like damn, I turn niggas straight! But I think often times, dudes just wanna get they dicks wet, and we all know the foxes nationwide will wet it up and wipe it down. And then we start liking them, and they come and break your back once a week, when all along they never had any intentions of being with you all along, youre just a side piece, a back up plan, and never a priority… I say that to say those two dudes that got married just messed around with dudes, they never had intentions of being in a full on gay relationship, I made it like that!

  7. I’ve messed with dudes that had (have) girls & guys; though I’m a lot more reluctant if he has a gf than a bf; partly because if I’m fvcking him, then who else is doing it & what is bringing home to her? Not proud, but it happened. Now, I leave em alone – though I’m still not opposed to screwing a dude w/a bf *shrug*

    But I’ve never had any delusion that it was anything but a piece of azz…

    1. Scandalous! Lmao!

      Do you see guy-on-guy relationships as a little less serious than heterosexual ones in the least bit? Like if he’s cheating with me than 9 times out of 10 his bf is cheating with someone else anyway?

      1. A little; I also just think that at least another dude knows what he’s dealing with…whereas the wife/gf rarely ever knows. I feel like I’m not contributing to the worst of DL behavior *shrug*

  8. @ Jay. I wasn’t talking about dudes running to the altar, lol. Just being more mentally/emotionally upfront and accepting, without necessarily coming busting out. i.e., change from those guys who bust a nut, but feel a sense of shame about it, to dudes who are more psychologically ok.

      1. ^i want you on a tangent.
        that is how we get discussion JAY.
        Say what you feel and if you someone disagrees,
        you will explain yourself and argue your point.
        we need that!

    1. That’s where you’re wrong homie. I want your ass and nothing else. I don’t care about your trifling ways, your beliefs, your views on politics, or your personalit. I just wanna get your cakes and then I’ll just throw you in the pile with the rest.

  9. YngBlkWolf :
    ^^ And I’M not shyt? Pot meet kettle much? lolol

    I just playin Wolfie. You’re worth more then just your delectable looking cakes.( I bet they taste good) I would cuff you if you’d let me. I don’t know though, it sounds to me that you treat the foxes and hybrids like trash bags. You fill them up and then you throw them out.

    If there any other wolves that read who want wolfie’s cakes besides me raise you hand. LOL

    1. Looka here, my cakes aren’t on the table sir. You are welcome to put yours out there though lolol

      1. All I said is they look delectable. LOL. If I knew you, I don’t think you would be able to keep you cakes from me because I would annoy the hell out of you until those drawls drop to your ankles.

  10. First off that shirt logo is bomb and speaks for me. Secondly you’re reading way too much into it . Fuck him and dump him if he’s using his girl that’s his business If u want to make him yours take him

  11. Never.

    I don’t believe in it.
    Call me old fashioned, a prude, or whatever, but the idea of messing with someone that’s already taken doesn’t sit well with me.
    For one, I’m highly possessive. What’s mine is mine and I don’t believe in sharing my man.
    There are certain expectations that I have of a man that I wouldn’t be able to have being someone’s side dish.
    For two, I have a good reputation and I’d prefer to keep it that way.

    In this community, however, being a whore is expected.
    People like to use the excuse that “we’re men” and “it’s just sex” to justify whorish ways.

  12. JAY :
    Whether we want to face it or not, a lot more of us are can be labeled hoes than we care to admit. That’s not to say that someone who sleeps around can’t have standards or some type of code (married, taken, or former or current boyfriends of friends are all off limits).
    I can respect a person who’s upfront about it more than someone who is duplicitous and uses sex to manipulate.
    Let’s be real 9 out of 10 of us can be labeled hoes by someone’s standards. Every one of us has engaged in some hoeish behavior,

    I think that’s a cop out.

    “Well everyone, to someone, is considered a whore.” That’s bullshit to me and is an excuse loose men use to continue being loose. We may not completely agree with one another’s sexual practices, but you ask a room of ten of identify a whore and I’m sure more than half will agree.

    1. Yay I love a good debate! Lol

      I’m sure more than half would agree, but would they offer up their own dirt for review? I doubt it because they don’t want to look like hypocrites.

      I mean let’s be real, in this lifestyle being a known whore doesn’t have much of stigma attached to it as long as . I doubt that’s going to keep most men from wanting them, especially if they’re attractive. Hell they may be even more desirable to some men. Look at how we worship these pornstars.

      Men are almost expected to have a extensive track record. Bottoms don’t turn these tops down that have fucked every bottom in town.

      So let’s say we have one clear, concise idea of what a whore is. We can sit and look down our noses all day but I doubt its going to stop them from getting chose.

      In general being a hoe is not like having a scarlet letter on your forehead like it was in the past.

      Look at Kim K., Natalie, Draya, etc.

      1. But that’s not the point, Jay.
        Is whether or not someone else is a ho dependent upon what I do? No. By definition, a ho is a ho, regardless of what I’ve done. Now, is it right for me to state as much? Maybe not. But that doesn’t change the fact that, that individual; fits the bill.

        I think the belief that someone is going to get chose regardless of their sexual past is the main reason we have so many lost young black men out here fucking around, hoping to find someone to love them. Little do they know, the only wolves out here trying to cuff a fox that gets around are wolves that get around. Wolves that could really give two shits about really committing to you, but are more interested in being able to just say they locked you down. If you’re attractive, you’re little more than an arm piece. Nothing more than a flashy watch.

        The only wolves I’ve ever met that weren’t concerned with my background and sexual past were wolves that already had plenty of mileage and were red flags themselves.

        I’ve never met a wolf that didn’t appreciate the fact that I wasn’t known around town or that I didn’t have many sexual partners. In fact, the guy I’m semi-dating now actually did a background check on me. Asked friends, friends of friends, and people that knew me about my character, my sexual past, and everything else.

        Being a whore still has a stigma attached to it when it comes to the right people. I don’t want a man with miles. If I notice that you know too many people or too many people know you, warning sirens go off in my head. Being a whore doesn’t just tell me that you don’t value yourself. Being a whore tells me you have trouble with commitment, are probably not mature enough for an actual relationship, and wouldn’t value me being a good man to you.

        And I don’t have time for none of that shit.

  13. YngBlkWolf :
    A little; I also just think that at least another dude knows what he’s dealing with…whereas the wife/gf rarely ever knows. I feel like I’m not contributing to the worst of DL behavior *shrug*

    I’m completely and utterly confused with this logic.
    This is the problem right here.

  14. Let me just be clear about this.

    If you’ve fucked someone you weren’t in a relationship with, you can’t call anyone a hoe.

    If you’ve cheated on anyone in the past, you can’t call anyone a hoe.

    If you’ve slept with multiple people around the same time, you can’t call anyone a hoe.

    If you’ve fucked someone else’s bf/gf, you can’t call anyone a hoe.

    If you’ll engage in sexual favors for money, rent, material things, or a cheeseburger you can’t call anyone a hoe.

    1. *sigh* I can check every one of those except the last one; though is it cheating if you’re only dating? lol

      My name is YBW & I’ve been a hoe/done hoe-ish behavior in the past. Heck, having a couple FwBs now might qualify me all by itself *shrug*

      1. I can only check off three, but as far as the last one, if ol boy that works at subway keeps giving me the eye I’m gonna have 3 dozen free chocolate chip cookies. LMAO. I kid I kid.

    2. What?
      So, if you’ve engaged in any one of these activities, you can’t refer to someone else as being a ho? That’s dumb as shit Jay.
      A ho is a ho is a ho and we all know one when we see one.

      What you’re really saying is that we shouldn’t judge one another, but the truth is, we judge one another all the time. We do it everyday on this very website.

      1. That belief is correct though. Realistically, a person can tell you whatever they want about their sexual past and you can either believe them or what other people say. If you believe other people over them you probably don’t trust them enough to be serious with them anyway.

        Someone like me doesn’t really give a fuck though. If you want I will tell you about every sex session I’ve ever had. I’ll start with the memorable ones and sprinkle in the ones I forgot over time in the future. Shit I couldn’t even tell you the names of a couple.

        If you think that speaks volumes about me you’d be dead ass wrong!

        None of that speaks to the person I actually am, but the experiences are indeed apart of me.

        Most of these dudes will be more than satisfied with an attractive dude that wants to be committed. Hell, we even expect the attractive ones to come with baggage but most are not going to “I can’t date you because you got around in the past”.

        We all know attractiveness attracts thirst, especially in this lifestyle, and no one expects men to be strong enough to turn away all the nsa sex being thrown at him.

        I’m happy you were able to find someone that meets your standards though, but you are in the minority.

  15. You know what? Random is right. People judge you all the time! Whether you’re living life on your terms happy and free or miserable trying to not do anything for fear of being judged, you will still be judged! As long as you know who you are it doesn’t matter.

    Oh shit I’m having epiphanies at 2 in the morning. Lol

    Don’t judge I’m the type that has to learn on my own.

  16. JAY :

    If you think that speaks volumes about me you’d be dead ass wrong!
    None of that speaks to the person I actually am, but the experiences are indeed apart of me.
    …most are not going to “I can’t date you because you got around in the past”.
    We all know attractiveness attracts thirst, especially in this lifestyle, and no one expects men to be strong enough to turn away all the nsa sex being thrown at him.
    I’m happy you were able to find someone that meets your standards though, but you are in the minority.

    He hasn’t met my standards. We’re dating. Right now, he’s living by a rubric. He doesn’t get around and has been in committed relationship for nearly a decade. But he’s nowhere near perfect. Once his cons start outweighing his pros, he’ll get dropped off the same way I’ve dropped off wolves in the past.

    I think your sexual history does say something about you. In fact, we’ve discussed it. For you, it stemmed from an insecurity and a belief that that’s all you were worth to men. Sometimes, the issue has nothing to do with the action.

    I will agree with this: “Most of these dudes will be more than satisfied with an attractive dude that wants to be committed. Hell, we even expect the attractive ones to come with baggage but most are not going to “I can’t date you because you got around in the past.”

    But I disagree with this: “We all know attractiveness attracts thirst, especially in this lifestyle, and no one expects men to be strong enough to turn away all the nsa sex being thrown at him.” I do. I’m attracted to strength. If you can’t be man enough to turn down free ass, then you’re not the man for me. I’ve been smack dab leading up to a sexual encounter and straight up said, “I don’t want to do this. You need to leave.” My wolf needs to be able to do the same thing.

    1. Still that only represents a small part of me. If you came to certain conclusions (i.e. Im a weak person or will put up with bs) about me based on that you’re likely to step in some shit.

      Thats great you have those expectations, but from what Ive seen youre in the minority. Im mobile sorry so short.

  17. JAY :
    You know what? Random is right. People judge you all the time! Whether you’re living life on your terms happy and free or miserable trying to not do anything for fear of being judged, you will still be judged! As long as you know who you are it doesn’t matter.
    Oh shit I’m having epiphanies at 2 in the morning. Lol
    Don’t judge I’m the type that has to learn on my own.

    A breakthough! <3 That's right Jay, baybay.

  18. JAY :
    Still that only represents a small part of me. If you came to certain conclusions (i.e. Im a weak person or will put up with bs) about me based on that you’re likely to step in some shit.
    Thats great you have those expectations, but from what Ive seen youre in the minority. Im mobile sorry so short.

    I’ll agree with that. Foxes and hybrids settle for shit these days just to be cuffed. I’ve never been with that.

    And do I think whatever conclusions I may draw are all that you are? Absolutely not. But I do think who we are is reflected in that in which we do. It’s kind of illogical to say, “I do this and this, but that’s not who I am.” Of course it’s not WHO you are, but it IS part of you. 🙂

    1. Honestly it wouldnt bother me being called a whore. Id probably laugh. Maybe thats because Im not known for being one and it hasnt affected my reputation. Im just known for being off. Lol

      We’ll never agree. Its interesting how different we are though.

  19. I have dealt with a married man in the past. There were just two encounters and I am not necessarily proud of it. I found out after the first time. There should not have been a second. So, no, those in relationships should be off limits.

    Should someone who enjoys sex, and happens to have/have had a number of partners be considered a hoe? No. A lot of it has to do with how you carry yourself.

    I know some of you have been, (whether if you will admit it or not),to sex parties and have engaged in sex with several people, and everyone wasn’t totally single. So are you a hoe? I’ve been to the Crew Club in DC, and I know I’m not a hoe. LOL!

    1. You’ve been to Crew Club?! Really? You’re in DC? We can go fox hunting – step over into my email…lol

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