I’m A Hoarder For Your Love (Maybe Penis)

inside_a_hoarders_640_07i am a hoarder.
that’s right.
i like to hoard things for the memories they provide.
that movie ticket with that wolf that gave me a good time.
the umbrella from my daiquiri to remember the fun times with friends.
that used condom from when a wolf blew my back out.
i’m totally kiddin on that last part.
yup.
i like to hoard these things to hold on to the “past”.
one thing i use to hoard was people.
holding on to what they use to bring,
rather than seeing that they don’t bring that same joy anymore.
i know you felt that one.
some of them just vanished.
others we had falling out.
then the ones who you see in public and they try to avoid you.
i still kept their numbers just in case.
just in case what tho?
so i had to ask…

Do you hoard people in your life?

i was looking in my phone contacts yesterday,
looking at all these names of people i use to know,
and something came over me that i started just deleting.
i’m in a place in my life where “real recognizes real”.
you’re not gonna sit on the mantle piece of my emotions,
scattered all over my soul,
sometimes dusting you off because you came back,
but not realizing your time is over in my life.
see thats the trap right there!
we think:

“well shawn use to call me all the time,
we use to have long conversations,
but he don’t do it no more.
ima keep him around in case we go back to that moment.”

or my favorite:

“derrick use to fuck the shit out of me.
we did it a couple times,
but mow he doesn’t answer my texts or phone calls.
one day tho…
one day ima get that dick again.”

i’m here to tell you,
and boldly,
you are being an idiot.
don’t worry because i was one too.
that d/l wolf ain’t callin to fuck again.
that vixen ain’t callin because she met new friends.
that dude you use to rock with can’t handle you no more.
those people brought something temporary in your life.
from good conversations,
good nights club hoppin’,
great sex when your body needed it,
and even being dependable when no one else was around.
they may have outgrown you.
even started to despise you.
either way you look at it,
they’re done with you and you should be too.

42062“hold on to the loveeeeeee”…
should not be the current en vogue song playing in your life now.
it can be a bitch to let go for some good reason.
so what do we do?
hoard em until we feel it’s time to detach ourselves.
why do we like to hoard the people with great memories?
is it faith they will come back around?
are we  just being “good ol mister dependable”?
or is it just that we hold on!… because we don’t want to be alone?
it’s a safe feeling to know you have a contact list filled with people.
well my contact list is now down to about 35.
i had 500 old friends and dicks on my mental mantle and attic.
it was hard to let them go,
because i kept wondering what would happen if they called,
but am i just fooling myself?
so when it comes to hoarding in our lives…

Why is it so hard to just take out the trash,
shut the door,
and not feel like you are makin’ a mistake forever?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

19 thoughts on “I’m A Hoarder For Your Love (Maybe Penis)

  1. I needed to read this. It’s time for me to move on. My phone has 800 contacts of people I use to fuck with from five years ago. Today I will clear out my people hoarding.

  2. I am QUICK to delete people from my life, mind and everywhere else.

    that d/l wolf ain’t callin to fuck again.
    that vixen ain’t callin because she met new friends.
    that dude you use to rock with can’t handle you no more.
    those people brought something temporary in your life.

    Hmm, won’t you say maybe rather than the dude can’t handle YOU no more, that YOU grew up and OUT of him? I’m saying rewording may help change your view so it is not a there’s a problem with me but a I’m GROWING picture you paint.

    [quote]they’re done with you and you should be too.[/quote]

    Sound’s like you (whoever the you in your statement is) is extremely dependent. How about wording it the other way around?

  3. Are you talking about deleting fuck buddies or are you talking about removing people you haven’t talked to in a long time?

    I mean sometimes people become busy and don’t really have time to talk and text all the time. I have friends I haven’t talked to in years but if we talk I know it’s like time never passed.

    1. ^its all about figuring out the differences.
      the people I deleted:

      dudes I use to mess around with
      people that haven’t hit me up in months that i don’t even consider friends
      people in the industry who i met once,
      exchanged numbers,
      and that was it
      people in my phone I don’t even remember who they are LOL

      you have to figure out who you are hoarding that the connection is over.

      1. Yeah… I agree with that. Some people are in my phone i noticed because they text me when they are bored but i’m tired of that. Tired of being the one to always initiate contact first. I know that it may sound immature but can you put in some effort into the convo.

        Imma delete these dry ass texters too. OMG! Nothing annoys me more than a dry ass texter that takes 2 hours to reply back to a message with “Ok”. smh

      2. @LORIB4 not to cut in but they are done and you are trying to establish something still. Let go of those people who you said are dry texters or the ones you have to initiate conversation with.

  4. I needed to read this. Every now and then, we should all go on a deleting spree. It seems like after every semester in school, I delete old numbers and maybe add a few new ones. I will admit that from time to time, I hold on to things for the memories they hold and/or the “what if” factor. I still have bears and gifts that I still have from people who I don’t even fuck with anymore. Those things are about to get burned.

  5. remember this:

    when you receive your life’s purpose,
    and you have money and the ability to live comfortably,
    who are the people you will want in your life?
    suddenly those people who ignore you,
    will want to be in your face.
    those dry texters… well you won’t get them to shut up.
    what about those dudes you use to mess with that dropped you?
    they gonna want to do that and more just to say they did it or black mail you.

    when your blessings finally reign,
    who are you bringing with you?
    the people who were always there and you can depend on…
    …or the people you hoard in hopes of making a connection again?

    think about it before you delete.

  6. i always say if i met them before then ill meet more again. why hold onto people in hopes they will finally do whatever it is you are looking for? be prepared to walk alone because some people aren’t meant to be in your life for more than a minute.

  7. Yea, I have let some friends go, and some ex’s too. My ex’s always try to make me jealous, and I hate that. If I’m not with you anymore, I don’t get af about your personal life lol. With me being in school, I keep all contacts of course(school work related). I can’t just go through and delete people who I may be in contact with again lol.

    1. I agree… but we all know the difference between contacts for later purposes and space savers. lol! I got more space savers than contacts tbh.

    2. I keep my contacts in for school also, but I’m talking about those who are just taking space in my phone and who I doubt I will ever see or talk to again. Hell yeah, you should keep tutors, classmates, associates, nerds, etc. in your phone. lol

      1. Bullshit. I don’t even have my roomate’s number saved on my phone and I party, travel and go out with that nigga. I think I know his number when it shows up on my phone but he’s never been that important to save in the first place. Dudes I hoop with, etc.

        I only save my LBs number, family and BUSINESS. The rest is pending, so I just store my call history because even some girls that put their numbers in my phone and text me I always need to go back to text history to see who it is. Life is too damn short to be keeping people left and right. I had 1500 contacts on my phone I was like nuh uh that’s too damn much who the fuck all these people…Now I have 800, I still want to weed it out to 100. I am thinking of deleting the whole damn thing and starting afresh, hey if you’re important we’ll connect somehow.

  8. Yes. I definately felt that one. You hit it right on the head. Some people are around just for a season. I just came to the grim truth recently with one of my closest friends. It’s definately easier said than done once emotions get involved. But I have gotten to the point where I just don’t have time to waste. Life is short. If its meant to be it will be. I will not chase it or force it. Ooh and you can add me as a next contact

  9. @Lorib. LOL sometimes I reply a text with Ok after 2 days. Lol I mean what am I supposed to say to the text? Sometimes I really want to say ok. lol

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