i didn’t know who jas waters aka jasfly was.
she wasn’t in my orbit for whatever reason,
but i’m learning about her now.
she was a writer and one of the pioneers of black twitter.
i wish i did know her because she seemed like an amazing spirit.
news spread like wild fire that she passed away.
when i read some of her social media posts,
it seems like she was struggling internally.
the things she wrote and liked on ( x her twitter ) were giveaways.
jas tweeted and deleted this:
it read like her manifesto that i don’t understand how people missed it.
i tweeted something the other day that people don’t cherish you until you’re gone.
they cry about how much of an impact you left on their lives,
but while we are here,
it feels like were are invisible.
most people operate like “the triflin’ ex“…
there comes in a point in a male’s life where he starts to rebel.
it happens during break ups,
and the “mid life crisis“.
for antonio brown,
it seems like it’s happening since he was exited out the nfl.
he has been doing some real “off” shit.
and since then,
be has debuted his “rap” career:
it’s all very bizarre.
his baby’s mother,
is over it.
this is what she posted to her ig…
a good fox always lurks in the background.
i check in on my fav attentionistos and other igs.
you never know where there is a story.
sometimes you’ll miss a damn good ig story.
so i go to the ig of “foto119” this morning and…
Continue reading “the missing piece that is foto119”
“instead of spreading my legs,
i spread my emotional walls.
i hate that i did that.
i know that i want to be liked…
to be loved…
to be fucked…
but i gotta make these wolves earn that part of me.
maybe even everyone?”
it’s the feeling you get when the vibe changes.
texts become less and less.
I’m a dl bisexual guy, although I’ve mostly been focusing on guys lately because I fell in love with one. He’s your typical alpha type and he’s in the military. Total womanizer and extremely good looking. We grew up hating each other – always fighting and arguing. Then as we moved into adulthood (around 18 years old), we became frienemies, then eventually just friends. Eventually, something happened and we fell in love. He would call every morning like clockwork as soon as he opened his eyes, then he would call every night right before bed, not to mention an afternoon call. We never made love (although he came to my house one time and made it clear that he wanted us to fuck. I just wasn’t ready for that step with a man). He told me that he’s in love with me after I finally admitted my feelings.
I was very difficult. Poor guy was like the man in a man/woman relationship with me. I guess it’s because we grew up arguing so I never really grew out of it. Anyway, we grew apart and he stopped talking to me. Then he started talking to me again and then I stopped talking to him. It’s a cycle. Then he started rewriting out history and acting like we were never in love. I thought I was crazy until i called him out one day and asked him if he was in love with me. He told me the following:
“If you know a fish is going to swim down a river, would you still ask if the fish is going to swim down the river?” But then he told me I can’t have it my way and that he’s not able to give me what I want. After that he completely erased our history from his mind and he went back to dating women and being in relationships with them. I guess I kind of know why he pushed me away…plus his family is church-going and homophobic (plus the military thing). I just want to know your thoughts.
I’m only asking because this has been going on for 10 years and I am so heartbroken. The ordeal changed me for the worse. I’m not the same person I was and now I sleep around with my just trying to fill a void. I think he’s my one great love.