Ya know, I like to give props where props are due.
Jamari Fox has had a change of heart.
And as usual, it took my readers to show me a light.
… one with sequins and platinum wigs.
All night I was up thinking about this.
I was actually reading the comments over and over.
I did some quick reference checks and was about to do a bar graph and presentation for you.
Yesterday’s riveting conversation featuring “Shimmy Shimmy Cocoa Puff”…
Our fem sisters are killing the game right now.
It isn’t Vixens we should be competing with.
It is really these damn fems and trannies!
They know how to get their Wolf, suck him stupid, and have him hooked.
So I’m thinking brutal take over.
Time for the Foxes to play a little hard ball.
So, I have to ask:
Are you ready to get it together?
Now do not get me wrong, some of my fem sisters can be cool as hell.
I have met some who aren’t messy and are mature.
They never disrespected me and always keep it 100.
Mostly because they wanted me to pipe them down so they did what I wanted.
The others, however, are the Jackals and Hyenas that roam looking for trouble.
My biggest issue is being unsure, eye contact, and nervousness.
We ALL the power… but we ain’t using it right.
I am told that I have an intimidating presence about me.
So of course, Wolves will also do me like I am doing them.
(see how that goes?)
Just this morning on the way to work,
this fine Wolf I see every morning was walking towards me.
I did not want to look in his direction and my facial expression automatically changed!!!
It was almost like I was giving off the “don’t talk to me” face.
In his world, he probably dismissed me as straight and kept it moving.
I did not want to do that, but the nerves took over me.
I have a fear of being wrong…
And that is it: FEAR.
Fear will have you never accomplishing your dreams.
Fear will have you thinking you are not good enough.
Fear will also make time go by and have you full of regret.
One thing I realize about fems is they have no fear.
And with that comes GREAT amount of power.
Sadly, some of them get drunk off the power and do stupid things that end up costing them in the future.
They have nothing to lose so they make sure they have everything to gain.
The ones who know how to play the game right are pretty much content and living the good life.
This is why they pull Wolves like this:
and this
They will even have these Wolves eating the box upon first meeting.
Foxes: realistically, we can “look” like we are stuck up to Wolves.
Plus, if you look good, they will be intimidated by your presence.
So, we have to learn to break the ice Foxes.
I feel like I found the light, but I need to find a socket.
Yesterday’s entry was an interesting read and it inspired me for greatness.
So, I started to wonder about fems and their confidence.
At what point did they say fuck it?
And, with all this power, how are they only just “pipe warmers”?
I’m not saying we need to wear panties and vogue at every gay club in town.
BUT, we do need to let go and let a new download onto our mental hard drives.
Couldn’t hurt, right?
Foxes.
It is time for us to elevate to phase two.
Time to get these Wolves and actually keep em.
The fems, Jackals, and Hyenas had a good run…
but now it is our turn to rule.
Lol Aww. An erection for me? I take that as a huge compliment Chris.
Its soo true tho. A lot of Wolves claim they want a ‘masc’ Fox but they’re quick to hit up someone that is fem when ur not looking, which is funny to me
Lol! I actually might be heading there sometime soon. Maybe we’ll cross paths. Give me a wink. 😉
Forget about maybe…I want a definite! lol
That would help, if I was from NYC, lol.
Really? Why did I think you said that in another post somewhere…? My bad. Well everyone needs to come visit the nation’s capital at least once – I’ll give you a tour 🙂
The bad guy? Not at all. What you’re saying may not be fair, but it’s honest and it’s real. I respect that. I like a wolf to deliver the news to me straight. 😉
Oh all this approaching for a meaningful relationship is null and void for me. Lol
I will however walk up to a dude I perceive to be a freak and ask when can I schedule an appointment for him to assume the position. Ayyyyyyeeee! LMAO!
Keep in mind this is nympho, ass-obsessed alter-ego JAY, not (insert real name here). lol
And there you have it.
May not like it. May not be pretty. But it’s the truth.
We are in competition. For every wolf, there are a thousand foxes and just as many jackals.
From our perspective though Jay, the view is the same. We may not be getting approached, but how do we know you’re a prize? Why should we walk up and talk to you when there’s no indication that you’re even interested? Why MUST we chase you just because 1000 jackals are sniffing around your dick? Why can’t we be important? Why can’t we be special?
How many wolves complain about foxes not approaching them though?!
The reality is they won’t care, you don’t have to when you have the advantage and you’re in demand.
They stared at you for 15 mins and maybe they were a little interested but once they get approached by some jackal that wants to fuck or some fox that isn’t above approaching do you think they’ll still be thinking about ol dude who played the staring game with them earlier?
You have to make him want to know who the fuck that is! Even a simple “whats up” can make him feel your presence if you do it right. Full on eye contact with a smirk. You have to let him know you’re the commodity so he’ll be like “I could go get some head from this dude who’s been in my face all night, but I wanna know who that dude is that just spoke to me.”
Man you guys are making me the bad guy. Lol
I used to think like you in the sense that I didn’t understand the need for labels. And in some respects, I still don’t. But these days, I understand why they’re important.
We all have different definitions of the words we’re using. What Jamari is referring to when he refers to a fem (or a Jackal), I actually call a cunt. To me, a cunt and a fem are not one in the same. Cunt is an attitude, fem is a demeanor.
That said, they allow us to have some sort of order amongst the masses.
Additionally, I think of this site as an outlet to ask questions that you may not be able to get answered anywhere else. I’m a “hybrid”, but I don’t necessarily see things the way a wolf does. I’m more likely to understand a fox’s point of view. For that reason, I need input for wolves every once in awhile to understand what exactly they think.
I think that’s important.
Making extreme headway!
Why would I be focused on you when 2 aggressive jackals have already come up to me and exchanged numbers? Why should I approach you when I’m already getting chose, granted, they’re probably freaks but I’m still getting chose. How in the hell would I know you’re a prize? Most wolves don’t chase because they don’t have to. I know outgoing foxes that have no problem walking up to a straight guy and striking up a conversation, much less a guy in a gay club they know to be a wolf. You guys are competing whether you want to face it or not.
^so how do you just go up to a Wolf and strike up convo?
Please school us JAY…
One question always seals the deal for me…
“Are your windows tinted?” Lmao
I kid, I kid.
I’ve seen conversation jump off about Polo’s one has on, snapbacks, where they got their haircut, what jays are coming out, just shit that would give the impression that these are just two straight dudes talking from a far. You should be smiling or smirking for the record. Then you usually end the conversation by exchanging names and volunteering your number if the vibe is right.
Love a wolf that can get to the point and wrap it up.
Both literally and figuratively. 😉
I told you to come holla at a brother…DC isn’t that far from NYC ya know 🙂
It sure isn’t. Go and get your man. 😉
You have to also keep in mind that although fems are men, they’re seen as being less threatening. A feminine man doesn’t necessarily threaten the masculinity of another man. This is the reason why some men who are wolves opt for extremely feminine foxes. It re-asserts their ability to be a man.
^that is so interesting to me.
i think we are making SERIOUS progress with this entry Random.
This is true.
I’m a naturally quiet and reserved person, so my ex loved when I yelled at him or ignored his calls because I was upset. For whatever reason, it kept balance in the relationship.
I had to grow into that, however. It wasn’t something I have naturally.
The problem with being a Fox is that if you’re too submissive or too nice then you seem to lack personality. I take the backseat on a lot of things. I don’t feel like everything is worth arguing over or that I constantly have to be on the opposite end of whatever you’re talking about. If I have to put in extra work, usually I will.
My friend is the complete opposite. He’ll ignore a wolf. Completely. In my opinion, he’s temperamental, but they seem to love it.
The secret to attracting a wolf is thinking like one.
^preach.
I think some people do have a permannet mean mug. It is easy for black men to fall prey to this,but remember you dont want to fall into the “angry black guy” stereotype,thats not cute lol. If someone feels intimidated by you even after you have opended up,been nice, smiled and spoken… the red flag that we dont want to see becomes obviuos….That man is not for you because in the end he is not going be to be able to handle you or satisfy you if you were to date. So what does that make you…one dissapointed and pissed off fox aka the desperate housewife lol and we dont want that do we?
Also, men are simple and everything isn’t about sex,sometimes men just want good conversation, someone who can understand their point of you, a gym buddy and also cooking a good meal can help too. But those are things a friend can do and that is what makes a good foundation to a good relationship. Becoming a friend to someone first then later on making a move could also help if being nice doesn’ t. One of the things I did differently when I got into this relationship was not to quickly jump in the bed, but just get to know each other. Being a hoe 9 out of 10will never make you a housewife unless your man is stupid as hell lol
I’ve done that. It’s easier for a friend to pull at a wolf than to do it yourself.
Usually because the wing man has no real interest in what the wolf has to say, which is the key. It’s easier.
But again, as Jamari said, usually the wolf will say, “Your friend needs to come speak to me.”
And that in itself presents an issue because then the impression is that either you think you’re too good to speak first or that you’re too insecure. Both are red flags.
Exactly. I’m more likely to suck it up and approach myself than to send a wingman over. I’m too proud for that. Lol
Wayment Jay – I thought you didn’t approach dudes? Especially ones you found attractive? lol
Fear will have you never accomplishing your dreams.
Fear will have you thinking you are not good enough.
Fear will also make time go by and have you full of regret—Wow these statements hit me like a ton of bricks. After reading this and analyzing this I realize that its bigger than finding the man of your dreams. All my life I have had this fear of people knowing who I really was, and it has held me back in so many ways. Its the dude at my gym who is literally a beautiful chocolate brother. I can hardly concentrate when I see him and Im always sneaking glances. In my gut I thinks he gets down, but Im literally terrified to say anything to him. Im by no means ugly but I start thinking in my mind that a dude like this would never give me the time of day because Im not perfect as I perceive him to be. I guess my fear has already prevented me from ever knowing him. I get so frustrated by not having the guts to go after what I really want. I dont want to offend anyone, lose my cool or control and appear vunerable to anyone. I think growing up gay we learn early to be strong and guarded with our feelings and hide who we really are and its to our detriment when we start trying to nagivate the relationship playing field.
I can honestly say that this blog and comments give me so much and this post has been another one of many to help me along my journey to go after what I really want. I am going to at least try to get the nerve to ask the dude a workout question, I find that most dudes love the attention you are paying to them at the gym especially when you tell them how awesome or strong they are when doing a particular rep. Wish me luck that I wont get my face cracked. The next challenge would be not to freeze up if the dude may actually have been feeling me and waiting for me to break the ice with him.
Someone’s sexual position does not dictate there demenor. just because someones a top doesnt mean they’re gonna be the dominate person and vice versa. i dont think categorizing is a problem, but assuming and stereotyping may be. everyone has different taste and like different things. just because a masculine guy mat prefer a fem u shouldnt let it lower your self-esteem or start to question yourself.
It sounds like we ALL (wolf, fox, hybrid) need to be more open – whether it’s body language, smiling, or just not putting a person in a box solely based on looks. And like Jamari said, it’s fear that keeps us from moving forward a lot of times.
It could be something simple as asking for the time or directions…but I suggest each one of us purpose to do something different when you see that guy checking you out; cuz what you’re/we’re doing now isn’t working *shrug*
And I believe Jamari isn’t saying you need to be fem, just incorporate that fem fearlessness they have – being that out and open requires a thick skin. More power to em on that front.
Dude in second pic , im going to just go ahead and claim him right now lol but yea thats what im on right now Jamari. If I see a fine dude and he giving me the eye and I trust that hes doing it to let me know he down, I think of anything to start a convo. Im not waiting on no wolf to approach me ( though I really really dont mind)
cause that tactic aint producing no results. Im learning to smile more, not mean mugg cause I know I done scared off potentials, and if someone walks by and look at me I say “Hi, how are you” you know be, more friendlier or cause you dont know whos watching you maybe, your future Man may be scoping you out building up the nerve to come spit some game.
Damn I wis I woke up a lil earlier to comment but here it goes. I’m coo with some fems but others get on my nerves. I feel what you sayin what muscular wolf wants to look at another muscular dude. They may see me as a gym buddy instead of potential date. Which is y all fems and queens drove me off-line. So what’s the next phase Jamari cause they kinda kickin our ass right now
So wheres that porn gif from? Need it in my life. Now. thanks jamari boo.
^trying to find out now!
looks HOT.
Thanks:)
IDK about the first one, but the rimming one is from a breeditraw video.
I believe they are both from the same scene.
^who are the stars?
That bottom is Prince T. If you search his name you might find the scene.
A big problem I see on here is a need to categorize ppl all the time. Foxes, wolves, jackals, hyenas or whatever. From my eyes it sounds and looks like a bunch of pretty girls who can’t find a GOOD man or keep one to save their life. We are all gay and hopefully want a relationship, so until you get your mind right to get that you won’t get it. Calling people names and wondering what they are doing to get a man isn’t going to help your plight. Your problem Jamari or any body else may be that you suffer from wanting a certain type of man versus looking at what you need. Im sure you are a very attractive guy and it would east for you to get a one night boo but you want a man for the long term so dont worry about what these others are doing. And sidebar stop calling the ppl fems and trannies it’s offensive to some and is part of a bigger issue with black gay men. Love you much!
Although i agree with certain terms being offensive and how they cause more harm within our own community, i have to say that categorizing people is a better way to identify a set of traits that are specific to a group. It keeps us from having to go about describing someone in great detail. The issue is when someone places a value onto a specific label. Most people are not concerned with being labeled as much as they are worried about being labeled the “wrong” one. Jamari has come up with his own terms to describe the groups with traits he feels are specific to that group so the rest of us have a point of reference.
When it comes to the the part you mentioned “you suffer from wanting a certain type of man versus looking at what you need,” We can speak in very nice default phrases about finding what we “need” and “hes out there waiting” but then we wouldn’t really be acknowledging the reality of what dating is like. It would be different if a plethora of emotionally available, attractive, and commitment oriented men existed to the point where a great many of us were able to forge serious relationships. Its very easy to throw out “you just have to find the one you need” but there are certain steps that must occur before we can get to that point. Thus far there exist plenty of road blocks at the fundamental levels of getting to know someone that are keeping us from getting there. So within this discussion we’re analyzing how a specific group is perceived as having an easier time gaining the attention of specific types of men some of us are attracted to. One’s who, as its been discussed, are more likely to stare and not speak as opposed to act on their attraction. We’re trying to figure out why that is and come up with solutions so that more connections can be made so we can move closer to finding compatibility.
P.S. Its no shade.
Love this.
Vain you’re so smart dude! i literally get a boner every time u go into ur in-depth analysis of this shit. YUM
^everything i do with this site is to inspire and create mental pictures for a better life.
especially for gay men (d/l, discreet, or even out) all across the world who haven’t had a voice, such as myself.
a voice that doesn’t hold back and is tired of being silent.
my site has the categories i made because in branding oneself,
you need to market yourself in a way that stands out.
i’m sorry you felt offended by what i said,
but granted,
you managed to offended me, and the other readers with your comment:
“from my eyes it sounds and looks like a bunch of pretty girls who can’t find a GOOD man or keep one to save their life.”
it always bothers me how gay men call “offensive” to things,
YET,
will turn around and do the exact same thing.
i find gay men also contradict ourselves.
let it be an “outing” story of another,
we are all ears and do not find that offensive at all.
I complain,
I go off,
and I sure to hell let it be known…
but I am a HUMAN looking for something better (aka what I need).
and because of that,
many others follow.
thank you hotrod.
😉
My turn… Yes we are all in this stupid world together but as you know one type of troupe will get differential treatment than another. I kinda figured someone was gona comment for the fems and I applaud you for that. But just as any minority group it only takes so much before you get fed up and want to vent. I find it funny majority of the time in a movie or tv show if the show a gay man white or black 9/10 he is fem. is like the world has a set image of a gay man and how he should act. What about us? I love sports and don’t know much about fashion but I still find a attractive man appealing. I’ve been told by some of my str8 friends that I would b the typical DL type because I’m dude acting. So it ls like telling me in order to get a word for our community I need to act a lil more fem which it’s me. And finally on the category of the names they are fun ways of identifying our preferences. Sure Jamari could have said top, bottom, and verse but that would typical. This way he can reach a whole plethora of men without labeling them somthing they don’t neccesarly like. We should learn to love all the aspects of our community for what they are but we also not need to appoint a set group to represent us because that’s not the whole picture of our community
Jamari I was not at all trying to offend you and I do apologize if I did. I used to be you lol. I questioned what I did and said, the way I dressed or acted. I even asked a friend if I was not attractive enough to date. Even though I know I’m not it was always perplexing to see a fine dude who was my type with someone who was not like me. What I did eventually was just allow my self to be open to ppl, from being more pleasant, smiling more and saying what’s up or hello to ppl walking by. It made a huge difference in how I was received and almost two years later here I am with a very cute and professional boyfriend who loves me for me and I love him for him. So my point is don’t get caught up in the labels, I am not a fem, I love going to the gym and don’t wear makeup and dress very much like a regular guy. But we should think of ways we can change and step up and a lot if the time it Is our demeanor. Like someone said your future husband could be looking at you from a distance and you not know it, but they may be to afraid because you seem unapproachable.
I love your blog and I’m glad we can have these open honest discussions! Love ya!! Ttyl
^I LOVE THIS!
Now that is what I like from my readers.
I love how you gave pointers on how to achieve these goals.
How do you handle when people are intimidated by you?
Even if you do smile and try to be open?
Are some of us stuck with a “mean mug” permanently?
I meant to comment on this earlier, and forgot, but after reading all te comments I must say that I’m thoroughly impressed that we can collectively have an adult conversation with no bickering. Being gay is like a job, and sometimes after working a real job full time I just don’t feel like working at being who i am. I don’t feel like working and going through changes to get a man, and going through even more changes to keep him!! I’m a fox, but I’m naturally aggressive because I’m the youngest of three boys, I grew up in the south, where ppl smile and speak and are nice, from a pretty well to do family, I say this to say that my environment that I was raised in made me naturally forward and confident. I think a lot of us our behavior stems from the environment that we’re accustomed to being in. So it becomes not than evaluating your current behavior but actually looking into where these behaviors come from, and if they aren’t positive or behaviors that you like, look into what you need to do to change them.. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was to hang around people that you would like to be like.. It’s a great way to develop who you are and what you want to be.
Okay, so lets put it all together. The method to approach and eventually snagging a wolf would be to:
1. Check to see if he’s interested. Pay attention to the eye contact. If it lasts longer than a quick glance then he’s potentially interested. Acknowledge that you see he’s looking. A quick smile or head nod. If you’re in spaces where there are lots of gay men (i.e. club, bookstore, event) then its safe to say he’s into men.
2. From there, make the first move. Head on over or find a way to get near him. Make eye contact and proceed with your own version of the phrase “hi, i think you’re attractive and i wanted to know your name, if your single, can i get your number…etc”
3. Subsequently make efforts towards getting to know him and don’t keep score. And by that i mean don’t be like “I called him so its his turn to call me.” If you want to talk to him, you hit him up. Make plans to get together for something light and see if he takes the bait.
4. See what hes like, what are his interests, what hes in the market for, and subsequently take it day by day. If you feel as though there is game playing going on, speak your mind. Don’t tolerate half-assed interaction because it means he’s not that into you.
I think there’s a level of “you won’t challenge my manhood (whatever that means)” when it comes to interacting with and approaching the more feminine among us.
^well they about to stop that bs in 2012.
its a new day.
we need PIPE too.
It depends on the situation. Jamari, it’s hard walkin up to somebody you don’t know.
^but,
you both have been eying each other for 20 minutes.
You don’t know him, but he is looking off and on…
Doesn’t that tell you he is interested?
Or, aren’t you just wasting each others time playing “Who Will Step To Who First?”
…and as a Wolf,
you need to sniff your ass over there and get that.
lol these bros are going hard…. cant stop laughing and yeah, i was thinking bout that also, cuz when i like a person i like to talk to that person make him feel like hey u are important for me, but sometimes u dont get the same so like in my place i got tired of giving sings and nothing happens ,so i say fuck it, like this guy keeps starring at me, and i was like ok, let me try him he kept looking at me, okay one day i add him on Facebook and , and i told him “hey i see u looking at me at school”, and he start laughing at me and told me that i was imagining it, can u believe it? and he has stopped staring at me, and im like okay fuck ya … ur not even cute the only thing u have is some good body and ass so fuck off!!! dont need ya!
^even though they hate to admit it,
when you treat a dominant person off the gate like crap,
they like that.
Wolves like abuse because they give it daily.
They want someone to put them in their place.
It can be sexy and a power struggle.
You play that “hey i like you/hehehe you so funny/i really like you” dainty bs and it goes nowhere.
I think if you would have approached him by saying something to the extent of “I’ve seen you around, figured I’d say hello” that he might have responded more positively. Wolves get intimidated when you approach them in the same way that they approach you. They claim that they don’t but that’s all lies.
^even AFTER the eye fucking from hell???
So is it okay for the fems????
SAY IT AGAIN!!!!!
The issue is a lack of effort perhaps on both our parts. But the thing is… how does one intend on being the aggressor when from the beginning they exhibit passive behavior? And vice versa? That doesn’t make sense.
One possible solution to this “im too scared to approach you” problem is one that straight men use from time to time. And that’s using a Wing Man. A friend who’s willing to go up and talk to whomever you’re afraid to approach for you. Although it sounds kind of lame its at least a step in the right direction.
^and then they will say:
“Your friend needs to come up and talk to me then.”
Happen with Star Fox and I, circa 2005.
I read in a book that with passive people,
you need to be aggressive.
With aggressive people, you need to passive.
Two passive people get no where (AS YOU CAN ALREADY SEE),
while two aggressive people get somewhere (fems are aggressive and the Wolf is aggressive).
So… keeping up with our submissiveness and being aggressive when it calls for it?
I mean it’s happen to me. The whole “My friend thinks you’re cute” and i subsequently say its okay to approach me. But at least there’s an IN. The ice is broken and if he really wants to come talk to me, he can come talk to me (seeing as i didn’t say i had a boyfriend). The problem is that we aren’t approaching each other. Not that the wrong person came over to speak. I’m sure as things progress we can MOVE TOWARDS no longer needing a second party but at least its something for the short term.
I mentioned in my other comment that there’s a clear line you have to walk when it comes to being aggressive while being the submissive one. I’ve experienced times where it very much becomes me doing all the initiating and i hate that. So when making the effort you sort of having to approach from a more 50/50 kind of angle. “I saw you from across the room. I think you’re attractive. We should exchange numbers.” From there do a little back and forth and suggest meeting up sometime. If hes about something he should go for it, if hes not and doesn’t want to go somewhere unless it involves his bed or couch, you know to give him the chop. But if they’re too scared to approach, we just have to say fuck it and break the ice and hope that he takes the lead early.
^I definitely see what you are saying.
With the FEMS,
they for some reason get that #.
Shit, they even get him to come over that night and get all in the gutz.
I want to go above and beyond that.
I want more….
So, unfortunately, if we want to see the change in the world: we need to be it.
Because Wolves have gotten lazy.
You heard JAY talking about come over and twerking on him…. wtf?
HELL NAW!
lol
Get your ass over here and grind me on me.
You the damn Wolf.
FOXES and HYBRIDS…
these FEMS and TRANNIES are going down.
They are not getting all the good meat anymore.
FUCK THAT.
Time for us to put our heads together to conquer!
FEMS (aka Jackals and Hyenas) have made it uncomfortable for everyone.
Even some Wolves (straight or gay) get uncomfortable because FEMS go hard in the paint for that dick.
But,
if we as masculine, discreet, and D/L went a little harder in the paint…
We could achieve a lot more than what we are experiencing now.
Am I wrong???
Someone help me…
Nope you’re not wrong at all and yea I would like it if a masc. nigga came up and spit that line to me.
^why won’t YOU go up to him tho,
especially he done spent 15 minutes eye fucking your clothes off?
Us wolves need to step up too, I keep saying that, but I don’t put it into action. LOL
^you all do seriously.
You cannot expect US the submissive ones to pick up all the slack.
That is really not fair and Foxes/Hybrids everywhere are saying the same thing.
Why go after ratchet hoes with no issue,
but a quality presents itself and it is Hide and Seek Wolf???????????
Not saying Wolves have to present a damn ring but,
don’t be in regret when a HO does what HOES do.
Being ‘fem’, acting fem is just not naturally the way I am. I’m a man’s man and expect my fox to look and act like a man. I’m slightly uncomfortable around fem men.
^I’m not saying be FEM.
I would NEVER be a FEM because that isn’t in my nature.
I am saying be confident and if you want that Wolf,
give him clear signs that you are interested in him, if he has given you signs.
Rather than playing “peek a boo/come find me” and waiting for him to come to you.
Obviously, these Wolves today are lazy and need a push.
This entry was for the Foxes.
Slightly, I’m very unconfortable around them to the point where it’s noticable.
^but…
you would like a masculine Fox who came after that and said, “yo whas good with chu…”
rather than you giving signs,
and we ignore you because we are “nervous” or “scared”?