who is the safe space for the safe space?

yesterday,
i met up with someone here for the second time.
we met during the super bowl party and she latched onto me heavy.
she seems really cool,
but i’m learning to keep my distance until i feel safe.
that’s either the cancer or the hurt i haven’t fully let go of in me.
we went to take a walk since it was nice outside,
but she had to run back to her place to get something.
when we got there,
i stayed outside and waited for her to come back out.
she told me to come in.

“are you sure?” i asked.

“yeah, come on in.” she responded.

so i did and then i saw…

she has the exact apartment layout i want.

i told her this is the space i’ve been hoping to get.
she offered to show me around and joked:

“i don’t even know you yet and i’ve got you in my bedroom.”

i was focused on the size of the space,
while quietly noticing the details of how she and her manz lives.
when i got back home,
i told my friend i’m staying with how easily people open up to me:

“well, people feel comfortable with gay males.” – she said.

something about that didn’t sit right at first.
i realized it was coming from a place i’m familiar with.
a place where being gay meant that was an issue.
my sexuality has been used against me countless times,
turning it into a weakness instead of something neutral.
so it made me wonder:

do people trust me because of who i am or because of what they assume i am?

if i were straight,
would i still be seen as safe?
would i be a guest in this home?
there’s a strange duality to being labeled “gay and safe.”
people open up to you,
but that same openness can invite projection,
assumption,
and sometimes even exploitation.
being seen as a safe space doesn’t mean you are protected.
it just means some people feel comfortable and can comfortably hurt you too.
so now i’m left wondering if comfort is about connection…

…or about perception?