THIS is Fox Talk ONLY.
You ever look in the mirror and cringed when you saw yourself?
You thought you were ugly or just a monster (and not Kanye)?
You could not understand why someone like you was single?
I hear a lot of my Foxes out there saying they are ugly.
ALOT of Foxes have very low self-esteem even though they have the brightest fur.
Well this is for you…
I have said it before and I’ll say it again,
I USE TO THINK I WAS UGLY.
Yup.
I use to ask people to reassure me I was cute, attractive, fine, whatever.
Why did I think so?
Growing up in a “loveless” family was one.
Another was because I didn’t have dude’s blatantly hitting on me.
As stupid as it sounded, I was under the impression…
… that dudes will hit on you in public like they do females if you are BAD.
You know what…
Lemme rap to you real quick on something I learned…
Unless you are in a HIGHLY popularized gay area,
or you are just that open, a man will probably hit on you blatantly or on the low.
If you masculine or pretty much a “?”,
he will be thinking about it but the biggest thing is FEAR.
Question: Why aren’t YOU hitting on every man you think gets down in public?
No man wants to hit on another man and be wrong.
Not only is he outed if he is wrong, but a mans biggest fear is rejection.
All these tough talking Wolves online and on these social sites will have you thinking opposite.
You see what THEY want you to see.
Good looking dudes are equally as intimidating because we get branded as STUCK UP.
So, it’s not that you are ugly.
You are just fine.
You DO NOT know who was looking at you and was wondering how they could get to you.
Out of all the dudes that passed by you today,
even though they weren’t obvious about it,
admired SOMETHING about you.
That is unless you just look swaggerless then you are outta luck.
Plus,
and this is realistic talk,
a majority of men not paying attention to you are STRAIGHT.
I know – sucks right?
Don’t worry.
Your Wolf is out there and he will definitely show face when he needs too.
As of right now, this is your homework.
Every morning when you get up,
when you are looking in the mirror,
I want you to say out loud…
I AM THAT NIGGA.
… start envisioning that you are THAT NIGGA.
Who do you admire – man or woman?
Imagine what it would be like to be THEM (the things you admire about them).
You are THAT NIGGA.
Sexy, fine, funny, popular – everything you should be.
Keeping saying it in your mind WHILE you look at all your good qualities.
You also need to acknowledge your bad qualities and things you do not like about yourself, so you are aware those are your weak points.
Love your weak points because they make you unique.
That crooked nose, those big lips, or even those not so straight teeth.
LOVE IT ALL.
Keep that thought with you everyday
and as you thinketh, you will be-eth.
Even Beyonce,
the most beautiful woman in the world,
thought she was ugly.
Trust me,
you will be JUST fine… literally.
Later.
WoW! that was some very inspiring info for a newby in this world of homo-love… Keep writing!
That was helpful. after reading that i think i mite of miss’d out a few times.lol
I know I’m not ugly but I have trouble gettin the type of dude I like. I am a very masculine and straight appearing. Nobody knows anything about me except for the couple dudes that I have messed with. I am only attracted to straight acting and appearing guys. I do feel the fear of being outed for coming at the wrong guy so of course I never say anything, but I wonder if there is signs or a way to approach a straight dude to see whats up.
Well @Jason, welcome to the club. lol
But seriously, there is no sure fire way than to look for an opening. Compliment him on something and then start a convo without coming off looking sleazy. Also befriending said straight dude is also a good option.
It is real hard to meet a dude of our requirements because just as we are scared, they are too. But I wrote something here: https://insidejamarifox.com/2009/10/10/how-2-spot-a-dl-brotha-prep-guide-jamari-platinum-d-lux-edition/
Check it out for added tips
Good luck Jason.
^THIS
Boys who are typically labeled as attractive, like the boy in the GIF, have certain characteristics or ‘themes’ to their appearance. They tend to be a combination of a strong defined jaw line, high cheek bones, pronounced brow ridge, thin cheeks, full lips, symmetrical facial features, and clear skin. There is science and research behind those characteristics and what we deem as attractive. However, physical attractiveness is often times not necessarily what everyone is looking for. Confidence is one thing that can make any person who isn’t on the cuter side of things seen as attractive. You are totally right when you say you never know who’s paying attention to you. Think about all the men you pass on a daily basis and note as cute.. and imagine them doing the same thing about everyone else. I love that you pointed out that those who are not admiring you are hetero because a lot of times we forget that THEY out number US 10 to 1.
Its imperative that people have a positive self imagine of themselves in order for them to attract people. But on the opposite end of things, i think its important that we are not dependent on our looks and that we not seek out men who are only interested in us because of our outward appearance. Those superficial types tend to be fickle and fleeting. Think of every guy who’s told you how sexy you were and how much they wanted to be with you… what happened to them?
^THIS
Alot of people start to feel unattractive because they are single. They base looks off of finding a man. Men are visual creatures and see image first; whats inside later. Confidence is IMPORTANT. That is why I pointed out that you feel like “that nigga” and boost up that part of you that feels like you aren’t. Unfortunately, the media and social sites have raised the bar on what is seen is what is better.
The same dudes that said I was sexy, I said the same about them LOL It is all in the game. I got the dick and they got the booty. They went off and told some other dude he was sexy to repeat the same procedure.
It’s dating and life.
Men are visual, yes, but i feel like that’s the main focus when it comes to what they want ‘in the moment’. If superficial and fleeting interaction with men are all the we seek then by all means go for it. But we can’t get upset when we use tactics that attract men who are all about the ‘temporary’ whilst we rest Rapunzel-like on our elbows looking for serious and forever. We are very aware that although looks do play a role, they are not enough to keep a man. Think of all the cute men with ugly boyfriends. Why do you think that is? And for all the men who said we were sexy and the ones we told the same lines… i can imagine nothing really substantive came about it. Sure, ego strokes and other strokes may be nice but that feeling doesn’t last very long. The loneliness creeps back in and we’re left trolling the internet and play “games” in order to get reassurance that we are still worthy.
(Side note: I don’t even know if we can even call it a game because games are suppose to be fun. Games are not meant for us to wind up sitting in dark rooms, on arm rested chairs, blogging about our many disappointments… at least i think so.)
That was real talk for Foxes, Wolves, and everyone in-between…
So good to know you’re not just a pretty face & a phat azz 😉
Awwww @YBW
*hugs u* thanks baby….