i can come off really guarded in person.
it’s nerves tbh.
it is all nervous energy in how i come off to other people.
when alcohol is in me,
my inhibitions can help me relax but i don’t want to become an alcoholic.
weed has only made me paranoid af.
in the “gold digga” era,
one of the most important things is knowing your worth.
now a lot of “us” mistake it for who we can get to fuck us.
“i am fuckin this wolf,
who is married,
and a football playa,
who looks like trey songz,
drives a range,
and owns part of the moon!
actually you lost.
all you got was some free nut and an empty stomach.
naw you can get anyone to fuck you,
but its how he (or anyone) treats you determines what you allow.
what are you allowing?
yeah lets get into it…
Continue reading “My Worth Is Down In The Back of My Drawz (Wanna See?)”
make you hard as steel?
wolves come and go,
but green can keep me warm at night.
no seriously it can:
if i asked your broke ass what would you do if you got rich tomorrow…
i am sure you could provide me a list or two.
hell maybe 5.
we spend our days day dreaming of a better life.
this is what we bust our ass for daily.
getting up and going to a “ain’t shit” job.
working about 10 hours a day hoping one day,
it will all pay off.
one where we can afford to pay our bills,
eat at the most expensive restaurants,
travel to far away lands,
and hob knob with the best of em.
don’t even have to mention the amount of pussy/ass/dick you will get.
once you have money,
it cums (literally) by the boat loads.
i’m sure those online attention whores will finally notice you.
everyone becomes your friend.
you can literally buy other people to hang with you.
life certainly starts to become more enjoyable.
well that is before it’s all gone.
low self esteem,
and no plan is the devil.
i had to ask the foxhole…
Can you mentally afford to be rich?
rejection is like the “don’t ask; don’t tell” policy.
the world will have you believing people have never gotten rejected.
they always get the guy… or girl.
they are masters of this thing called the love universe.
i’m here to tell you that is complete bullshit.
everyone at one point in their life has gotten rejected.
it can be a blow to the ego because in life we are told we can get anything we want.
“go after it and it is yours!”.
the ol team spirit routine!
sure that can happen with material things and a lifestyle,
but when it comes to another human with conflicting emotions as yourself,
that rule completely goes out the window.
i was thinking about rejection today and i had to ask…
Why does rejection fuckin’ hurt so bad?
so you want cake?
you don’t want to pay the $10,000 to go to a professional.
get the fat sucked out of one place and put in your ass.
you want to go to that man you heard about that live in the apartment in the back alley.
the others got it done and they look great!
well i got something that may make you chill on that…
Ronald was a cute cute cute boy…
but see, he ain’t know it.
See, Ronald was told all his life that he was attractive, but he ain’t never believe it.
He grew up with a younger brother that got all the attention and all the toys.
This left poor Ronald fighting and rebelling for his parent’s love.
Ronald was also gay and was looking for Wolves to make him feel appreciated.
He would fall for their empty compliments because he wanted love.
He would do whatever these Wolves said because he felt that they “loved” him somehow.
I ain’t recall a night of peen “love”, but whatever.
Ronald fucks, sucks, and ends up alone once they are done with him.
The story of “Ronald” is much like some of ours.
We are looking for that Wolf-In-Armor to come rescue our asses and be our “Beacon of Self Worth“.
Sadly, a Wolf can sniff out low self esteem in a heart beat and use it against us.
Why do we look for validation from others when we need to look in a damn mirror?
Why are we searching for something that can only be found in oneself?
It’s like we are in one dark ass room looking for the door to get out,
but we are too busy feeling around looking for a switch.
I had to ask…