rejection is like the “don’t ask; don’t tell” policy.
the world will have you believing people have never gotten rejected.
they always get the guy… or girl.
they are masters of this thing called the love universe.
i’m here to tell you that is complete bullshit.
everyone at one point in their life has gotten rejected.
it can be a blow to the ego because in life we are told we can get anything we want.
“go after it and it is yours!”.
the ol team spirit routine!
sure that can happen with material things and a lifestyle,
but when it comes to another human with conflicting emotions as yourself,
that rule completely goes out the window.
i was thinking about rejection today and i had to ask…
Why does rejection fuckin’ hurt so bad?
i have been rejected in this fox life of mine.
it hurrrrrrrrt like a bitch too.
some were online hook ups where i got no reply after i unlocked my picture.
others where wolves on the street that completely looked away when i looked at them.
for every gain in this lifestyle,
i have also taken a couple “L”s.
there were 2 wolves that i remembered that i wanted so bad.
met them both on online chat sites years ago.
before i really knew myself.
before this site.
they were everything i was looking for in a wolf.
and had something to talk about.
one had a regular job and took care of himself from a young age.
pretty similar to my story.
he pulled up to my crib in a tinted out bmw.
i nearly fainted.
the other was a DJ who was working with some big time acts in the business.
he was new to the “lifestyle” thing of meeting guys.
i remember he pulled up to my crib in a tinted out black navi.
he had two cellphones.
he looked like “someone”.
i got moist.
we would speak on the phone for a long time.
we would have those long conversations about nothing in particular.
even had a few phone bone sessions.
when it came time to meet,
it went well or so i thought.
i never heard from them again.
the phone calls stopped.
the texts too.
i didn’t fuck so i knew it wasn’t a hit ‘n’ dip.
well the first wolf ended up being a fox.
it took an entire year.
he came back online with his intro asking to meet a “THUG TOP FOR THUG SHORTY”.
i knew i didn’t fit the mold of destroying his butt cheeks.
the other wolf was actually nicer.
he sent me a text a month later to apologize.
he told me that he got back with his baby’s mama and was only going through a phase.
i’m sure that was bullshit,
but he was an adult about it.
it hurt because they were the wolves i actually desired.
it didn’t help that after meeting them both,
i started meeting a lot of fakes.
people who were lying about who they were.
wolves who were my type but just wanted to fuck.
there was no connection like i had with the other two.
i got attached and i am not afraid to admit that.
i wonder why does rejection effect us so bad?
is it because we all just want to be liked?
as much as we fire off,
“well i didn’t want your ugly ass either bitch!”,
deep down we know that is bullshit.
that feeling of looming rejection casts a shadow over your self esteem.
makes you question yourself:
is it me?
am i ugly?
did i say something wrong?
was i detectable?
my ass not fat enough
but we forget about all the people we have rejected.
the ones who didn’t fit our needs.
people we just knew we wouldn’t click with.
hell, even the attention whores get rejected.
so i had to ask…