I’ve been a fan of your website for a couple years and while I never comment (something I’ll fix in 2014), I have to say thank you to you at the top of the year.
Thank you for being open and honest about your struggles, hopes and dreams at all times. It takes an incredibly honest people to be an open book with complete strangers.
Through your stories as well as the stories of the people who follow your site, I’ve truly realized how complex the LGBT experience is. As a closeted male, I’ve spent 23 years of my life essentially turning an entire side of me “off”. I’m ashamed to say I’ve never been in a relationship, never had a meaningful kiss and I’m not happy because of these issues.
If you asked me a year ago, I planned on living in the closet for an eternity – I didn’t aspire for a relationship for fear of having to admit my truth. I used to tell myself “You can’t miss what you don’t have”. I focused on my education (applying to Master’s programs at the moment), my family, my friends, ect. to fill the void that an intimate relationship would bring.
If you asked me NOW? I’m over it. I can’t change who I am, and while I’m not gonna make an announcement on my social networks or anything…I’m done lying to myself. It’s easy to lie to yourself, but believing it is another story. How can I trust others if I can’t trust myself with MY truth.
Again, the LGBT experience is so complex – in fear of losing the support of my friends or family, I’ve kept who I am repressed and I’m tired. I’m finally tired. I’m glad that I’m tired.
It won’t be overnight, but I plan on slowly being open and honest about who I am to the people that I love and the people that matter. I’ve watched a lot of my friends find their happiness being WHO THEY ARE and I’m not going to deny myself the same opportunity for an eternity. If my sexuality will make people forget that I’m a great son, brother, cousin, friend, acquaintance, ect…it’ll hurt but I’ll be okay in the long run. My family will probably come AFTER my friends. That’s a test within itself.
I can’t get back the time that I’ve wasted lying to myself but I can look forward to the time that I have to live in my truth.
Thank you and your readers for continually inspiring lurkers like myself who are seeking an outlet of expressing a side of themselves that they repress. Your honesty is going to inspire someone. No lie, this place has been a refuge for me in times where I wanted to cry for not being honest with myself. In 2014, better days will come. Stay blessed!
I Just Wanna Be Happy
these are the emails that keep me going.
thank you so much for YOUR honesty, IJWBS.
as long as YOU are living your life to your standards,
and you comfort,
then fuck what what anyone has to say.
you’ll be happy once that happens.
happiness comes from finding yourself.
everything else will follow.
good luck on your masters!
that is a big deal all in it’s own!!!!
i have to say…
i’m glad i attract such quality to my site.
everyone who sends me an email or comments are not ragga.
the foxhole who make their presence known to me,
they’re always exude every inch of class.
we also respect each other within the foxhole.
truthfully i don’t fit in with the ragga crowd.
not saying that’s bad,
but ive NEVER been accepted there.
now we can get ratchet on here,
but all of my audience tend to be educated,
and objective gay and bi men who aspire for more in life.
a platinum lifestyle,
and a different kind of man.
closet or no closet.
even the few vixens who have joined us as well.
hell everyone likes to READ too.
i guess you can say:
all “soon to be” ballers in their own right.
just working the kinks out,
i love that i can feel inspired just by reading things like the ^above.
that’s the one thing that can’t be copied.