f0xmail: Thank U Letter (3)


Hi Jamari,

Been busy at work lately so haven’t had the chance to comment as I would like too, but I’ve definitely been reading daily. I just read your entry “Everything Seems so Perfect in the Snow” when i got to work and it just struck a cord with me. You see, I’ve met a guy and I think I’m falling in love for the first time. You’re the only gay friend I have lol so I hope you don’t mind me randomly telling you about it. Anyway, he’s not perfect. No six pack or big muscles, but cute and most of all treats me like I’ve never been treated before. Everyday he tells me how much I mean to him and that he loves me. The other day he had me crying with the things he was saying to me. I NEVER do that. I’m not the type of person that can be vulnerable in front of someone. He also loves God and stays in church. He’s not perfect by far, but he’s everything I honestly could ask for. And the thing you said in the post about the two guys kissing….I’ve have never been kissed like this guy kisses me. The other dudes I had been with made me not even like kissing. They made me think I was bad at it. Turns out, they just all sucked at it lol. And just to throw something in there, this guy is a genuine FREAK. We haven’t had sex yet and he said he will wait as long as I want, but with the way he talks to me sometimes that wont be too much longer! Most importantly, he loves me for exactly who I am. He told me he loved everything about me, and that I didn’t need to change a thing. Now I know I’m an attractive guy, but I still have self esteem issues. However, I never feel self conscious when I’m with him. This is the first guy I’ve been with where I felt I didn’t need to change anything. He works. Has his own place. And wants to buy me food when we go out even though I got to remind him I’m still a man and can hold my own. This guy has touched me life in a special way in a short period of time.

The reason I’m saying all this is because I was about to give up on finding someone. I was coming to the realization that I would just be alone with some hookups in between. After all, I had been alone a long time and had gotten used to it. This guy has shown me that doesn’t have to be so. Now, who knows, we may not make it, but at least I know I’ve experienced love and I could find it again. But I feel this guy is the one. I’m telling you this because I was getting apathetic about love but it found me when I was least expecting it. When I needed someone the most, this guy came into my life.

I’m telling you J, if it happened for me, I know it will happen for you. Although I’ve never talked to you or laid eyes on you I know that you are a great person, and you deserve a great person. He will come along. Man, I can’t even explain how much reading your blog has helped me. All those months when I was sitting at home, out of work, depressed, struggling with my sexuality, reading your posts was a godsend. I really feel a part of this community even though I don’t know you or the other commenters personally. We are all kind of like brothers in the struggle. I’ve really learned so much about this lifestyle. I’ve learned that everyone in this life is not some caricature. I’ve learned being gay does not make me less of a man. You are a special person Jamari, and God touched my heart this morning and made me sit down and right this to you. Keep your head up. Keep doing your thing. Don’t ever give up or get discouraged (even when that bitch at work is trying you lol). Most of all, don’t feel that you have to compromise your standards to have someone. I can tell you have a lot to give and for that, a man needs to be prepared to give you a lot. At the same time, be open enough to get to know a guy that may not fit all your physical or stylistic ideals. I gave this guy a chance when the old me might have just passed on him and its really been worth it.

Take care


Bigger_office_hugwhen i read this letter at work,
i nearly cried.
i had to catch myself because i felt it coming.
anyway i already sent you a long reply to this wonderful letter,
so i won’t bore you with more word vomit,
but thank you so much for these kind words again.
i just give everyone myself and hope i get the same in return.
i always say i have the best readers and commenters in my foxhole.
i’m always impressed with how intelligent everyone is.
“i am who i attract?”
i believe it.
i know my wolf is coming.
i can feel it.
hope is definitely alive and the vibrations are strong.
he is going to make me see/feel/understand why i waited so long.
20g0h34congrats on your brand new love,
because he sounds amazing,
and many more blessings to you.

love & light,
jamari fox

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

12 thoughts on “f0xmail: Thank U Letter (3)”

  1. Of course I cried.
    I think many of us place too much emphasis on physical appearance and we miss out on meeting beautiful ,loving people.

  2. That was a very sincere letter. Love is amazing, and hopefully we can all experience it, either again or for the first time.

  3. Jamari you are like my imaginary friend…all the guys here make me feel welcome. This is a tight community. Love comes when you least expect.

  4. That letter was so amazing. It just speaks volumes as to how your blog have touched so many of us.
    These an old adage that every time you look for something, you can never find it. However, whenever you’re not looking for it, it finds you.

  5. This letter has sparked a little glimmer of hope inside myself that there may be someone out there for me.

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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