everyone has secrets.
if you didn’t,
you wouldn’t be human.
you know the wolf who is living down the hall from you?
the one you think is perfect with his well put together family?
the one you want to smash?
well, he is banging his assistant.
oh, guess what?
it happens to be a fox.
his wife doesn’t care.
their marriage has been over months ago.
she is fucking his brother.
what about that vixen you always see in the morning?
you know, the pretty one?
well, she is a sex addict and had a train ran on her the night before.
yup.
shocking huh?
or, is it just life?
we all have something that we are keeping secret.
you are reading this site now,
so you may already have a secret.
some of our secrets are big; others are corny.
we all have something we don’t want other people to know.
everyone.
so i started to wonder…
How big are your secrets?
this elmo thing bothers me.
i actually feel sorry for him now.
i judged him.
i admit.
i thought he was luring kids with elmo and raping them.
you know, like that old man who lives down the block from you.
he actually lures them with candy.
seriously tho,
elmo just had a fetish.
and what kills me is the jackal and hyenas were down for it.
they saw those sesame street dollar signs,
but they were down to get down.
now they turned on him and used all his secrets against him.
this has caused him to lose his job and become a laughing stalk all across the country.
but, what are their secrets?
the ones they are hiding in their closets?
the ones if exposed will destroy them.
it reminds me of the lifestyle.
you have a secret.
not everyone is out.
people actually just want to be private and live their lives secretly.
they have fetishes that the world would not understand.
you think you can meet someone who respects that,
but one wrong move and all your shit is out there for judgement.
suddenly you go from “that polite guy that people respect and doesn’t do wrong“,
to “that evil faggot we can’t trust anymore because he kept a secret from us“.
is that even right?
these hyenas and jackals think they are doing good pulling someone out the closet…
…but they are making someone do something they aren’t ready for.
it’s like being pushed off a building without a warning.
i think it’s sad and pathetic.
if we were to hear their secrets,
because you know they always have some triflin‘ secret,
they will try to play “the victim“.
that down low baller wolf who tackles fox-ends off the field.
the singer fox who sings to women but loves a nice meat sandwich (hold the onions).
that guy at your job who is fucking your boss.
that person in your family who is married and loves meeting wolves at gay clubs.
even yourself.
we all have secrets.
you know like that person you killed and dumped his body in the forest.
but, are our secrets really ever safe?
are they just on a loading dock ready to be shipped out to society once we fuck up with someone?
those same friends of yours are patiently waiting to expose you.
some people deserve their karma,
but others are just innocent and don’t deserve it.
but, karma has a way of bring things back around to the bitch with the mouth.
you see the jackal got his karma with his messy business coming out.
i started to wonder about secrets.
our secrets.
as much as we keep them…
When do they become dangerous?
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Everyone has secrets, and everyone has that one big secret. I’m not one who tells my business to anyone who will listen, but I never tell people what they don’t ask. If they want to know something about me, then they have to tell me something about them in return.The only secrets my gay friends know about me is that I like men, and that’s because if we flirt with one another it’s obvious that we’re down, so we might as well come out to each other lol. I always let them know that if they ever tell on me and I find out about it, I’ll put their business on front street. You tell on me, I’ll just drag you kicking and screaming right on out street, and that’s not a bad thing because all they have to do is keep their mouth shut as a friend. I keep text messages and pictures for their word, you just never know if they may come in use. Now I don’t believe in getting back at people all the time, but you can’t let people get away with everything. When a person confides in someone else and they tell them to keep their secret, then that’s what they should do, especially if they told you they would. Now days people are ulterior motives and they are out to get you.
Lol Man you a trip, but I feel you.
also pushing someone out the closet…
you don’t know how fragile someone’s mental state is.
they could end up killing themselves….
or killing you.
don’t fuck with people and their secrets.
people have died over the threat of being outed.
Jamari, you made me think of a old co-worker of mine who was secretly kicking it with his down low Barber, well apparently he fell in love with this dude, but the dude was not down with that, so my co-worker was threatening to tell his girlfriend. Well to make a long story short, my friend went missing and was found dead in a River bed a couple of weeks after he went missing, if he had not confided in a lesbian friend about the situation, the Barber would have probably got away with it. I had really forgot about this until you said that about people being outed who will kill. To be honest I didnt know that my co-worker actually got down either, I got a vibe, but he still kicked it with females as well, so it was shocking when all of this came out. Again, secrets have consequences for us all.
^i’m sorry about your co worker.
very sad.
i hate that whole “i’ll tell people” thing.
why not just leave it alone?
karma has dealt with people far more worse than i could have.
Secrets- this lifestyle is born of secrets. Ive been so secretive with str8 family and friends for so long, that its second nature and at times, I feel that these people dont really know me at all. Eventually, you are going to hit the wall–somedays, I want to stand on the tallest building and shout out to the world everything, but then Im scared to deal with the judgement, the hate, that comes from my people, so we both continue to dance around the obvious elephant in the room. I have found that most black family members are more than happy to not talk about your secrets, because they dont want the judgement that comes from others about having a gay child or relative.
Now when dealing with secrets from your gay circle is a whole other ballgame. I found that you have to be even more secretive when dealing with people who are always secretive with everybody, they are more than willing to tell everything about you. Its like gay dudes go out of their way to tell all of their friends business or people who they suspect are gay, to the point that often times we go to the point of hurting our brothers. Its so bad in my city that many of the people I know are always saying things like-I hate black punks, messy queens etc. Im real standoffish when Im at gay clubs or parties, I make it point to not to really get to know too many gay dudes, because usually its another reason why they want to be friends with you, and its not coming from a good place, but a place of messiness.
I have a good friend who tries to live his life transparent and he tells everything about himself to anybody who will listen, almost to the point that I cringe at times. He is judged harshly at times, but he says he has no secrets, but most of my other friends who know him dont like him and dont really like to fool with him, because they think he will expose them, because he lives so openly. I just think its in our DNA as gay men to be secretive and distrustful of the bigger world.
!!!!
^that last paragraph is so true.
sometimes they do it spitefully because they need someone else to walk that road with them.
you can’t pull someone out the closet because you are.
i think that is very evil.
I’m so glad you wrote this entry jamari because this topic has been running thru my mind like crazy lately about the whole secret thing, well I am going to be on an up and coming tv series in the summer of 2013 on a huge network and I’m so freaking nervous when the show airs and people see me on tv all of them “jackals and hyenas” that I use to hang with back in the day in ATL will air all of my damn business about me and that will be the end of my career. Smh because I know being gay and black in the entertainment industry is deadly and basically the end of your career, I fear that i will be labeled as that black gay actor. My shit will end before it really even begin. I wish there was a button to delete my past, having secrets could really eat your ass ALIVE!!!! just wanted to share my quick story..
^don’t let it scare you.
you can always spin negative drama on television.
focus on being the best you can be.
do not slip.
do not let your guard down.
do not respond.
you have to show the world the rumors are just rumors.
sooner or later,
they will turn on the person(s) and they will look foolish.
also please make sure you have no hard evidence.
They become dangerous as soon as you let your guard down and a secret is no longer a secret. In this lifestyle you learn how to keep secrets even from yourself as sad as that may be, but its the truth. I think it hard for anyone to face their secrets, that’s why they are secrets. We don’t want anyone else to know or in some cases even ashamed of them. I think if my secrets were revealed , their would be a lot of disappointed, shocked and some embarrassment to be honest. But so far I have been able to keep the disappointments, shock and embarrassement as secrets.
I must imagine though he feels some kind of relief regardless of what he’s been through …..now everything is out on the table and have nothing to hide anymore.
We are only as sick as our secrets…the things that we hold inside fester, they cause us to continue hiding, tricking, and lying… It’s truly sad whats happened to this man, but through it all I hope he somehow finds solace, I know what it’s like to be pushed out the closet..
^so true while reading this i couldn’t help think of the story “the scarlet letter” (im a nerd) secrets can be deadly. they exhaust us. you have to go thru all this trouble hiding, you feel extreme guilt and often disgrace. this was the main theme throughout the story the adulteress Hester had her dirty laundry aired out for every one to see, but in the end this was the best thing for her while dimmsdale, her lover went through a great deal of pain ultimately resulting in his death ….. just a thought an i apologize for my summary of the book i just love literature
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