*some church folks can really annoy me.
now,
i’m not talmbout the ones who are cool.
the ones that go to church but are:
1) still regula degula
2) every other sentence about how God, Jesus, and the latter day saints are
so last night,
i went to bed with a lot on my spirit.
i prayed,
but i couldn’t relax worth a damn.
it was to the point i was tossing and turning.
i remember being half awake,
but still in a dream state…
…and my mother coming to me.
she rode in on a horse,
with a arrow,
trying to fight off whatever was tormenting me.
I don’t know what that was about
either way,
we talked about a lot of things i can’t remember,
but i remember her saying clearly:
“I worry about you”
…and then i woke up at like 5am.
after waking up,
i felt so calm and just relaxed.
it felt like something i was lifted off my spirit.
so my cousin called me earlier today.
i told her how i dreamt about my mom and it felt so real.
she’s a super christian and gon’ say to me:
“that wasn’t your mother you were dreaming about.
i need you to get a job so you can stop dreaming of things coming to you.”
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that had me hot af.
why can’t i hold on to that?
i believe it was my mother who came to visit me.
she usually does when i’m restless within myself.
why take my moment from me?
i was supposed to call her back tonight and i didn’t bother.
these are the rabid christians i CANNOT deal with.
those and the:
GAYS ARE GOING HELL
…but doing more sinning than i ever have.
i often want to ask:
And you aren’t?
like,
why do they use God to be this hateful assassin?
“he’s coming to kill you all!!!”
oh…
oh ok.
whatever.
*honorable mention: the ones who use to sin real heavy,
but now they’ve found God,
they are robots.
my cousin was one of those.
Jamari, you know a tree by the fruit it bears…. remember that.
Jamari..I hate to break it to you..but she is not for you.
1) If she TRULY was spiritual..at the very least she would have just listened
2) Even if she doesn’t believe in dreams of meaning..she could have been compassionate as you’re mourning your mother
3) This is somebody who you do not need to tell ANYTHING to. Not your accomplishments. Nothing.
4) Sounds like someone who when you DO succeed will want to take the credit for it. Saying she “prayed” this would happen.
I think you should cut her out of your life. You can send a generic group holiday greeting…but I think she is beyond toxic.
That was rude. And disrespectful. I do not care what she has going on in her life even if she is taking it out on you. It shows she wasn’t listening. You are going through a transition. And look what “words of encouragement’ she had to offer.
The thing with Church People is they like to say they cut demonic people out of their lives..as they “grew with Christ”. Well..since she’s so in tune with The Divine..she doesn’t need a formal explanation.
You can wish her a happy holidays via group text and keep it at that. Just don’t respond. Block her # if you have to.
You’re grown and have to do what is best..but I cannot see how allowing someone so cold to get close to you can be beneficial.
dont generalize off one person who didnt give a damn. we dont say all black people are murders because of John Allen Mohammed and lee boyd malvo. she could just be messed individual
Dag. I hate that. When my mom passed, i was sitting in a rehearsal and could have sworn i saw her singing a song about not being afraid…i never told anyone that. If it gives you comfort man….cherish it!
^im sorry to hear about your loss.
please cherish yours as well.
Hope you didn’t forget to tell her that you is now a full blown faggot, jumping on niggas dick like yours is missing. In no time, you gon’ be shitting a baby from your anal canal the same way she shitted you from her pussy. Old fag.