everyone has been rejected once,
twice,
maybe even three times.
life comes with many forms of rejection.
that job we want that they give someone less qualified.
the love we want from our parents only to be given to the “bad” sibling.
and then there is the rejection that comes with dating.
that ones seems like the worse one of them all.
many online communities dedicated to low self worth over being turned down.
its usually not just anyone.
its that “guy”.
that “wolf”.
the one that was “perfect”.
rejection does sting and you can’t deny it doesn’t.
so i had to wonder…
Why is rejection worse when its someone we actually like?
i have been rejected by wolves i really liked.
why front?
i don’t always get the wolf.
the ones that were my type x 150.
the turn up for them was real on my end.
just because you are cute,
handsome,
or even sexy,
doesn’t mean someone will want to put handcuffs on your wrist.
your ass could be fat and your skin could be light…
yeah.
that means shit to someone who isn’t attracted to you.
i told this story before,
but i met this wolf on a chat site a couple years ago.
i think it was a4a.
well we were talking on there for a while before we even exchanged pictures.
when he unlocked after much mystery…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
he was exactly my type.
brown skin,
cute nose,
thug swagg,
but thats not even the best part.
he had a job that allowed him to have his own crib and car.
“yes!
yes i’ll marry you!”
so when i unlocked,
he claimed he also liked how i looked and wanted to meet me immediately.
well that night,
he came over to my spot in his white tinted out bmw.
with the rims!
automatic soaking wet drawz coming right up.
i went downstairs in a fly outfit and when i opened the door,
he was everything and more.
he was masculine and his voice was deep.
he was the type that made me insecure.
i played it real smooth and let my body language say:
“you aight.”
after we talked and laughed in his car for a while,
he gave each other dap and he drove off.
he said he would call me as soon as he got home.
yeah didn’t happen.
well who knew that i would never hear from him again?
i texted him the next day to see if he died on the way home.
no response.
when i went back on the site,
i saw he was online and read a message i sent.
i sent him a message that said:
“if you wasn’t feelin me,
you could have said so…”
read it and replied nothing.
i won’t even lie but it hurt me hardcore.
met a wolf i was actually feeling,
a wolf that was masculine and fine as hell FROM ONLINE,
thought he was feeling me type heavy,
and he didn’t even have the decency to say that i wasn’t his type.
i immediately started beating myself up and questioning my looks.
i ended up erasing my profile and let insecurity eat at me for a few months.
rejection.
it can be one of the worst feelings in the world.
that and hitting your funny bone.
like how insane is that pain?
why do we let one person steal our joy?
make us determine our worth?
you will not be everyone’s cup of tea.
some people will not want to wake up to your folgers.
i’m sure some of the wolves i post on here won’t want me.
why front?
shit i might not want them when i actually get to know them.
its a hard pill to swallow but if it helps its usually them and not you.
you aren’t for everyone and you gotta find the people who do.
even beyonce and rihanna,
two of the most wanted vixens today,
probably got rejected before they got famous.
all the rappers and baller wolves were and you see they are all hoes now.
hoes with complexion entitlement issues.
personally i think its worst when you fuck someone,
they get you open with promises of a future together,
and then they drop you with no explanation after they get your drawz.
thats just mean!
so i had to ask…
I must admit, I am the dude, who rejects dudes left and right, and its all because I dont have the heart to tell dudes, I am not feeling them. If a dude comes up to me, its hard for me to tell him,”Yo, you are not my type, and Im not really feeling you at all” I am usually too damn nice and go through with the small talk and hope they will get a clue and they never do, so I end up trying to be nice and ultimately end up just doing a disappearing act, of not calling, not answering back text, or just using my phone block feature. I am scared that when I do find the dude, I really like, he is going to do my ass like this. Actually 2 years ago, I met this little kool kat, I vibed with and we went out on a couple of dates and he did me like this, never answered my texts again, never heard from him. I couldnt even be mad, because I have done countless dudes like this. Well I saw him about 9 months later at a party, and had actually forgot him, and he came up to me and spoke to me, I smiled and spoke to him, like nothing ever happened. I had already had about 4 dudes at this party trying to holler at me, so I was geeked up and feeling myself LoL, so this dude didnt even phase me, and when I saw him interacting with his friends, he was sweeter than a 10lb bag of sugar and it turned me off, so I was like well thank you Bro, you did me a favor.
Though, I rarely even approach dudes when Im out somewhere, if I do and I get a vibe, he is not feeling me, I sort of swerve on them and leave them alone, but dudes, who approached me because they liked me, never seem to pick up on the fact, I am not feeling them and almost force themselves on me. So at the end of the day, many Gay men or like Str8 men, they will holla at you no matter how bad they look because they figure, the law of averages is going to work out in their favor; if they holla at enuf dudes, one is going to holla back.
For straight men, rejection is a way of life. To get some pussy on Friday night, a straight man has to talk to many women for numbers and a few for dates.
For gay men, rejection is also a way of life. So many men are fakes, flakes, frauds and phonies. They say one thing and do another. They say that they want a relationship but they just want a fuck. They say that they want a relationship but they only want a relationship that is 100% of their fantasy man. It’s the same old story time and time again. Get used to rejection. You got much more where that came from!
I think it’s easier when you get rejected for superficial reasons like your penis not being big enough or just not being attractive to a person.
Now when you bare yourself intimately and you get rejected or hit with the “slow withdrawal” that hurts you at the core.
I’ve been open and honest with dudes and had them disappear with no explanation. You always wonder why and you end up looking at all niggas sideways from there.
^yeah that hurts jay.
well lets try this?
maybe they withdrew because they wanted one thing,
but you showed them something else,
and they realized they couldn’t handle it.
like cowards,
they left without saying goodbye.
it was them.
not you.
100 % agree
Someone once told me that without rejection, no one can finally accept you.
I feel like I’ve had more rejection in my personal life than most and its deeply affected how I see myself.
Like I often question if I’m a good person or if I should be different or someone else entirely.
I don’t really care to put myself out there anymore. If I’m not in control of the situation, I eject myself from it.
Yea, I can handle rejection. As the old people always say; “you can’t please everybody.” This life comes with a lot of baggage and drama, some more than others, but it all depends on whether you know how to handle it. We may be rejected for a variety of reasons. You might not be masculine enough, tall enough, light enough, too feminine, or the possibility of being too masculine that the dude feels threatened.You cannot walk around here and believe that your physical attributes and good sex is going to be enough to keep the attention of a man, and that is where people have the misconception. Looking good does not equal to another person wanting you for a long term relationship, hell even a one night stand. I’ve rejected men and women, and the reasons are all different, and are not solely based on superficial reasons. You cannot allow yourself to get too invested in a person before they reveal their feelings to you. I tell people that all of the time. People are planning to move, give up their jobs, and are preparing for the holidays with a person, and the person in question has never expressed their feelings about them. Then when that person does not feel the same about them, they are ready to bust out some windows and slash tires. In this life, you have some men who believe that just because they have found another gay man that it means they are a match in heaven. Just because I am a Wolf does not mean I am not interested in every Fox I meet. It does not work like that, and people need to understand that. Straight people aren’t always interested in one another, so why should we think differently. Part of the reason may be because there is such a shortage of gay men, that some are ready to latch themselves to the first one that gives them the time of day.
Jamari, I am curious to know why that dude did not want to talk to you anymore, especially if the both of you clicked during your conversation. Usually they are some signs that indicate whether a man is feeling you are not, even if you are meeting him for the first time.
^the twist in the story was he was looking for what i was lookin for.
the curious case of the thuggish fox who was playing wolf…
Oh he was a Fox? Wait…so then why was he after you when he clearly knew you were a Fox? I’m confused. Dude had issues.
^issues and wasted my time.
left me with a gang of insecurity and anxiety about meeting dudes I was actually attracted to.
he lead me on and then emotionally dropped the ball.
that isn’t a good feeling.
at least we didn’t sleep together so I thank my lucky stars as far as that is concerned.
^have you ever been rejected man?
do wolves get rejected?
As far as dating, I’ve been rejected by females when I was a kid. I’ve yet to for it to happen in this lifestyle tho, but you have to remember that I don’t interact with dudes like other men in the life do, so the opportunities are somewhat limited. If it does, I’m good tho, you can believe that.
Wolves do not really get rejected unless they have a lot of negativity with them, and have other undesirable qualities.
I already know I’m not good with rejection, not in any part of my life but don’t let it be from a wolf I’m feeling heavy. I think my fear of rejection has kept me back in life so I ‘m learning to get pass it.
^hmm.
you have inspired me again mikey!
Man the same thing happened to me recently. Went to go see a dude I’d had a crush on thru IG. We’d talked, had great convo, even kissed. He told me to hit him up when I got home. He didn’t respond. I thought maybe he fell asleep. But no, he didn’t return any of my subsequent texts after our meeting. Went out with some castmates from a show I’m in after rehearsals to Applebee’s. The host walked us to our booth and who happens to be in the very next one, the same guy wth another guy I’d been out with before. Couldn’t have felt more awkward. Cuz here I am, in my rehearsal gear having to sit near a guy who rejected my everything. What makes it worse is I know I was a topic of conversation when they left. So frustrating and embarrassing and I have no idea why. Sucks to be rejected but the b best revenge is success.
^oh hell naw!
i know you wanted to crawl under a rock.
well sit with your head held high and be strong.
he should feel like he lost a good thing and not vice versa…
This one guy rejected me that it hurt so much. I made a fake profile pretending to be an escort in drag because he go for that type. He didn’t know it was me because I wore a masquerade mask and told him some people know me. I went to meet him at this alleyway, it was dark and perfect. With a more feminine British voice I told him to pull down his pants. As I was sucking him, I reach inside my purse to grab a razor blade which I inserted into his asshole. Then I said I told him “How does it feel to get your cherry pop?” and ran away….. Not a true story btw.
^i was going to say!!!
WHAT???!!!
LOL
good one lin!
Just trying to lighten up the mood
You are silly lol.