“…somehow,
your name came up last night.”

whenever i hear that,
i groan.
only because in the past,
it’s a “let’s say everything about jamari behind his back than to his face” fest.

“He asked about you and wanted to know how you’ve been doing.”

if i was driving a car,
i’d probably would have crashed...

“I told him we’ve been hanging out and he was in shock.
He asked if you still angry and how you’ve been.
Suddenly,
he wants to do the stuff we’ve been doing.” — Handy

he knows he did he wrong and i’m sure the guilt is killing him.
too bad for him,
i’ve been in therapy and my whole outlook on past people has changed.
people are strange.
they think you fall off after they drop you.
i won’t front,
I was so sad when that entire friendship ended.
out of the six people in that group,
only two people had my back.
one did circle back and apologized for their behavior.
the jackal asking how i’ve been was the ringleader in that circus.
It was all a misunderstanding that spiraled out of control.
all it needed was someone i thought was a friend to reach out,
but they all decided to follow the ring leading jackal and threw me to the curb.

but instead,
they showed me who my real friends were.
i went into ninja mode,
went to therapy,
learned to stop blaming myself for their foolishness,
and started to enjoy my own company.

That’s the thing about people from our past.
once they hear you’re doing well and happy without them,
that is when the shift of power happens.
you start shining and they realize they have become old news.
no one was waiting around for them anymore.
once I see a friendship or relationship is over,
i’ve learned how to move on without the person.
it has always worked out in my favor.

I’m a Cancer so I’ll be hurt and emotional but my biggest trait is my resilience.

so I had to wonder…

Would this have been different if I was chasing them around and begging for their friendship?

…and that wasn’t gonna happen.

i only suck dick for pleasure; not acceptance.

lowkey: my comeback is in the cards Foxhole and i’m coming.