…i’m sorry that i couldn’t make your funeral today.
as you know,
we are in a dance battle with the omarion omicron atm.
not only that,
i asked your family members to keep me posted about the service being streamed.
no one followed up and i didn’t get an answer when i called.
ill pay my respects to you on my platform and write the things i couldn’t say…

you had a huge heart during your time here.
that was one of the things that drew me to you.
you respected me and i appreciate you for that.
i always remember the story you would tell people of me.
that one time i got you to the doctor in fast and furious time.
what was supposed to be a 15-minute drive,
i got you there in like 6 minutes.

“Jamari drives so fast!”

listen,
you said you were running late.
i remember laughing at how nervous you were in my passenger seat.
i think you vowed to never get in a car with me again.
i still considered you one of the good ones out of that family.
unlike some of your other siblings,
you weren’t cold like they were.
you treated my mother with kindness much unlike your older sister.
thank you for looking out for me when the others didn’t.
from the time i was a kid,
my sister would always hang tough with your daughter.
it’s still crazy to me how your daughter died this year too.
( x see that here )

i hope your last days weren’t stressing over that girl i call my sister.
i’m gonna be 100 but i told you this before.
ya’ll always came to her rescue only for her to give you both her ass to kiss.
i told you that she has to work on her shit.
i could tell her behavior took a toll on you when we spoke about her tho.
it was a lot to deal with because she was doing the most.
i mean this girl nearly had you kicked out your building with her antics.
that nice ass fuckin’ apartment being jeopardized because of her.
if it was one thing it was another.
the way she treated you and her behavior your daughter’s funeral was sick.
if we are gonna be honest,
your older sister created the monster that is her.
i told you that you weren’t helping either.
all the coddling and the spoiling is why she is the way she is.
knowing that you would still be there and that you care was why she had no respect.
her having mental illnesses and not taking her meds is another issue as well.
i pray that she wasn’t the cause of what sent you to the hospital.
i wanted you to leave her alone and let her figure her life out on her own.

_______,
i will miss you and even though you weren’t technically blood to me,
you will always be the one i considered an aunt from that family.
i feel regret that i didn’t reach out when my spirit was telling me to.
that bothers me tbh but know in my heart that it wasn’t on purpose.
rest easy in grace and love and may the heavenly host guide you in peace.

Love,
Jamari