i’ve been reading various websites about lee thompson young today.
funny how death will make you learn so much about someone’s life.
well they are saying he may have killed himself due to depression.
it’s funny how now he is dead,
he didn’t realize how much people cared about him.
strangers who followed his career and watched his shows.
people he knew that remember all the joy he brought in their lives.
i haven’t read a bad comment about him yet.
“he looked so together!
he was good looking,
was a good actor,
had a steady job,
and had many accolades in his life.”
those are the ones who fool you boo…
when i was holding on to the knife,
blood dropping on my living room floor.
my mother was looking at me with this look i will never forget.
it was a look of suspended terror.
it was then followed by confusion, hurt, and sadness.
my father wasn’t home so i knew i would get the sequel when he walked in the door.
that was my first suicide attempt when i was like sixteen.
i remember being so depressed at that time.
i had everything i ever wanted or could need,
but none of it mattered.
i wanted to kill all the demons i had inside.
i felt so alone even though i had so many people around me.
my parents immediately put me in therapy after.
it helped a little and they put me on medication that was a bitch to get off.
i struggled with depression through my teenage years/young adult life.
when they died,
that’s when i had to get my shit together.
i had to grow up fast and learn to be a man.
it was hard at first,
but i managed to prove i could make it on my own.
i was then lucky enough to meet star fox.
he was my rock.
i was able to talk to him about my issues.
he never judged me.
he always listened to what i said to say.
after he passed away two months ago i was ready to kill myself.
i had the day picked out and everything.
the thought of going through life without him was unbearable.
if it wasn’t for this blog,
i would’ve done it.
so i been where lee is and i know what its like.
when you’re depressed like that,
you often feel like no one is there.
you look around and you see all these happy people everywhere.
they have all these “great” people around them.
living these amazing lives and doing these amazing things.
“whats wrong with me?”
“am i not doing something right?”
not realizing 99& of these same people are full of shit.
yup it’s called “image”.
now that social media can make a basic person look like a “messiah”,
people have lost their minds in trying to be:
“@_______ the great… online”
so to the depressed person,
they spend a majority of their time alone.
working on themselves and trying to make a better life.
the life of happiness that they see in their head.
the fucked up part is that when a person actually kills themselves,
it’s too late for them to realize they were actually appreciated.
people are so about self that they don’t see when someone else is hurting.
like i said,
i won’t judge him or anyone who goes through with it.
i will judge when you do it for attention.
not everyone makes it through their demons.
everyone has a cross to bear.
some heavier than others.
people will try to look down on him.
talk about how he was selfish.
“didn’t he realize so many people loved him?”
that’s where the ironic part comes in.
did they appreciate him while he was here?
they probably didn’t until he was wrapped up in a body bag.