You Ain’t Nothing But A Big Fat Bully… so There!

“UM, SAY WHAT????”

We have all had the moments.
Someone says something to us and we are ready to knock their heads right off their shoulders.
The older I get, I realize that people are really shady.
They are not nice and will try to treat you like shit.
It use to bother me until I learned how to skillfully be nice/nasty.
So I had to ask you, my reader…

How much bullshit do you tolerate?

Now do not get me wrong, Jamari is a nice guy.
I am one of the nicest Foxes you will ever meet.
But, under every soft shell lies a hard center.
Before my evolution, I was just all soft all over.
I had no cajones and would just let people get the best of me.
I can admit to my weaknesses….

Because I raised to be so sheltered, I didn’t have a backbone.
I was also desperately trying to find friends and for people to like me.
It use to bother me when I found out later that these same “friends” were talking crazy shit about me.
I would start to question what I did wrong and maybe I should have done something differently.
I never took into consideration that they were the assholes.
I also never took into consideration that not every smiling face means you are my “friend”.

Nowadays, for me to even consider you to be a friend requires a screening process.
I can’t just have any Tom, DICK, or Harry in my circle.
You need to go through a few tests before I elevate you to that coveted title.

So I am going to teach you, my wonder readers, how to gain a backbone:

1. You can tell off the bat who is fake.
One of the good ways is if they are gossiping about people.
Sure, I like to hear info myself, BUT I am never destructive with it (unless I don’t like the person).
But always remember: if people are gossiping about others, then your info is up for grabs.
The best way to combat this is to let them do all the talking.
Tell them little to no info about you.
And if you do find yourself cornered, tell them a lie or half a truth.

2. People will try to throw stones your way.
I like to throw boulders back as warning shots myself.
But, you have to learn when to reply and when to just say “fuck it”.
Defending yourself can be great, but it can also prove your guilt.
If someone says something about your character, I always find the “no response” trick to work wonders.
They have nothing to “go on” because you never responded.
Making a scene and looking like a fool will do just that.
People from afar cannot tell who is the fool really is when two people are arguing.

3. How do you view yourself?
I maybe just a little Fox working in a big industry, but I walk and act  like a king.
In crowing yourself king, you already know:

What you will tolerate
Who is beneath you
Who just isn’t worth the time.

Sure, we all like to fight every battle that comes our way.
I do not care who you are, your feelings can be hurt by negative things about your character.
BUT… when you have a presence about you, no one will try and fuck with you.
Or, they won’t bring it to your face.
You have to command an air that lets people know that you deserve better.
And guess what?
People will feed off of that and do you better.

If I knew then what I knew now…
I would probably rule the entire world.

But, I always wondered why people are just so damn ignorant?
I always believed people try to test you to see what kind of person you are.
The way others treat you is because of how you started off in the relationship.
Even after high school, we still encounter real life bullies.

So my question to you is:
why are you still putting up with people’s bullshit?

It got me thinking about respect.
The one Aretha sang about in the good ol’ days.
It seems that the nicer you are, the more you are rug beneath someone’s feet.
But you pull out a quick BITCH MODE, then everyone is shaking in their boots.
And yes, even MEN can be bitches too.
So when you allow bullshit, you get it thrown in your face.
When it comes to people and how they treat us….

Are we simply training everyone to hand us their ass to kiss?

9 thoughts on “You Ain’t Nothing But A Big Fat Bully… so There!

  1. This is something I had to learn and quick. After 3 years, a few bad encounters, and two bad relationships, I wised up. I’ve always had a hard exterior and a really soft core. So if someone was able to get past the exterior, everything was pretty much up for grabs.

    The problem is, that is usually when they start to become an asshole and show their real colors.

    So I’ve learned to be more aggressive and to bite when poked.
    You have to let people know where they stand with you and what they can and cannot get away with. You teach people how to treat you. Most people need a few bruises before they wise up.

    1. IM SOOO PRO WITH U , i`ve realized that ,You have to teach people how to treat you, i was soo soft back then , everybody liked to use me cuz im a lovely person and like to help so people use to grab on that to use me, till the day that i met somebody in my life that changed me in a unbelievable way,

  2. I’m a pretty good judge of people very early on. I look for certain signs to tell me what a person is like. You’ll learn a lot about someone if you just pay attention. Most people really don’t pay and then wonder why later on who they thought they knew turned into someone else. There’s something be said about what types of things a person talks about, what they dont talk about, the way they word their sentences, and the words that they use. There are plenty of people who are not worth your time our there. Lots of people who pretend to be something so that other people will like them or be scared of them.

    I find it best to just be completely honest upfront. I don’t understand this thing about secrets and keeping things to one’s self simply because eventually it will get out. I believe in living life authentically so that there is nothing to be afraid of.

  3. see jamari i am totaly different i was the fat ugly kid so i learned at a early age to block people out and be fine with myself. i was so use to being alone and saying fuck averybody that to this day its still hard to let people in. i mean i have friends but even they said it was hard ass hell for me to talk to them, and now i wont shut up they say lol. i find that even when someone is trying to get to know me im like brick wall or at work we the best of friends and after its dont call me. maybe i need to be more open

  4. WoW this is some deep shit man! I’m going to have to pass on this, but it sure gives one food for thought. Thank you for bringing it up.

  5. “When people show you who they are, believe them.” Maya Angelou

    The previous quote is my litmus test for anyone I bring in my circle. I, like you Jamari, work in the media industry and after many stressful days of work and dealing with excessive egos and jealousy, the last thing I want to do is deal with that in my personal life.

    Nearly all of my friends that I have I have known all of my life. My two best friends I have known since we were three years old. They’ve always had my back and support me fully. They don’t
    know that I’m bi, but if they did, I doubt it’ll change anything.

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