You Ain’t No Man

kinsey_scale_by_mdimotta-d5h855ci don’t get the big difference between straight and gay wolves.
i really don’t.
both can be emotionally detached,
lookin’ for companionship in the wrong places,
and can have a nasty habit of stickin’ everything that moves.
so the disgust i see about our life kinda leaves me baffled.
they do it,
but just in a way that’s more “acceptable”.
or is it?…


…the way the vixens complain says otherwise.
how many straight wolves lead a bachelor lifestyle when they are young,
fuckin’ everything with a hole,
and get to a certain age and are completely alone?
thus bringing about a mid life crisis and a car they can’t afford.
how about the ones in this life who are overfucked and overused?
they spent their youth clubbin and hookin up,
they didn’t get their priorities together and well…

giphyand something else i’ve noticed.
its not like gays can’t be masculine either.
sure the stereotype is this ultra fem who can do hair or apply glitter to jeans,
but as we can see with “straight” wolves who get outed,
many of us happen to be ultra masculine and “straight”.
playing sports.
rappin/singin’ about fuckin’ a ton of bitches and carryin’ guns.
yeah i don’t get it.

realistically no one is better than the other.
both sides have their pros and cons.
each will have to appear for judgment at some point of their lives.
as i’ve been friends with many straight wolves,
i have observed:

the gossip more than vixens
they get way too emotional
mood swings be on fleek
selfies in perfect angles/insecure when no one leaves a comment
spend way too much time and effort grooming

…and not to say doing that makes one less “manly”,
but those are female traits the new breed of “man” have picked up.

takin dick,
not takin dick.
suckin dick,
not suckin dick.
havin’ a ton of pussy on call.
havin’ a ton of dick/ass on call.
havin incredible hulk muscles.
havin no muscles at all.
those are not the things that disqualify being a man.
being a man is about how:

you handle your business,
providing for you/your family
having your own and not having to beg
effectively handle any problems that come your way
being financially responsible
not being judgmental
keeping a job for more than two months
being sexually responsible and honest with your partners
knowing when to walk away from a fight

that is what i’m attracted to in a wolf.
that is not something that can be faked.
i would like to think i am a man.
regardless of:

dicks i put in my mouth or ass
i like to dress
relate to the shit on “sex and the city”
how i can get a tad emotional

the fact i can accept these things…
makes me more of man than some of these so called ones.

tumblr_nk4yljpzSS1rgiccso2_250my role or sexuality doesn’t make “jamari fox”.
its how i go about my daily life and handle my shit.
so i had to wonder…

What is a “man”?

kinsey scale picture: mDiMotta

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

8 thoughts on “You Ain’t No Man

  1. It’s hard to define what a man is. On one hand they want us to be alpha males, on the other hand they want us to be perfect husbands & fathers. We’re human beings so at the end of the day, we’re way more complex than that. In fact, what most define as a man is second nature to animals in the jungle.

  2. Everyone needs to read this, because it’s nothing but the truth. A lot of straight men have some of the most girlish ways about them but then complain about gays and girls being bitchy.

    Masc or Fem doesn’t matter, don’t let anyone make you feel less than. DO YOU

  3. There is not a big difference between gay and straight men. The only difference to me is that one has sex with men and the other one doesn’t. I know some men who are straight that are not as nearly as masculine as some gay men. Now that is strange lol.

  4. Very good entry but this is Jamari Fox what else do you expect when you come here. Lets not forget how race plays a role in our society and how men act and relate to one another. European str8 men seem to be more accepting of gay men to the outside world but will vote for politicians secretly who keeps gays down with legislation. But on the other hand, the White gay world is more supportive and have more things to help white gay men with their journey. They see Black gays as Black first and dont offer the same support to our community unless it some type of token gesture and that is usually reserved for the Snow Queens.

    Black str8 men will be more up in your face and let you know they don’t like you when they perceive you to be gay, its like so many brothers are so hyper-masculine that it comes off being comical. I guess in this European dominated world, str8 Black men think all they have to offer is their masculinity and the physical power that comes from being a “real” man, since so many are not afforded the same opportunities to be a man that can support himself or his family as their European counterparts. I guess that is why the outsider persona like the “Thug” and the “Pimp” are so popular with so many Black str8 men. Being gay in most str8 Black men eyes is perceived to be weak, and a mental illness. I have heard str8 Black people say, you know them punks and gays are crazy. You have so many Black people period not just the men who believe that gays have this secret agenda to make everyone gay. I have personally seen so many str8 dudes who go out of their way to let everyone know they dont have time for “that gay shit”. I have never understood why do my str8 brothers worry so much about who a man sleeps with. I have seen effeminate dudes at the Barbershop or the Gym get talked about right in the open, like the gayness is going to rub off on them. I guess gay dudes are lowest on the food chain, Brothers are oppressed everyday in the world and they turn around and treat their gay brothers like SHIT. The irony of it all though, is that Black gay dudes turn around and do the same thing to each other. If we can finally put down the distrust of each other and realize we are all men no matter what at the end of the day and we need each other in the bigger fight we might all can make progress as men both gay and str8.

  5. Whats considered a man or a woman is abstract and arbitrary. There’s no real definition to them except what we give to them ourselves. Those roles of what a man or woman is are limiting and damaging to our psyches. I know its sad but I’m almost 30 and I’m just now learning not to let other people perceptions of how a man should be define. I was so unhappy and insecure about myself because I couldn’t meet other’s expectation of what I thought I should be and I used to drive people away before they got too close. Now I learned that I define myself and I’m becoming the man I was meant to be with zero fucks to give.

    My history professor said it best, “Oppressed people oppress other people.” no matter how disenfranchised or discriminated a group of people are they there is always group less powerful for them to shit on. Straight black people do it to black gays. Gays and straight women do it to each other. Gays do it to transsexuals. Just look at how people of color of every racial/ethnic group treat each other. Blacks, latinos, and asians will throw stereotypes and slurs against each other with the quickness even though we’re all discriminated against in one form or another in this country.

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