your fox den.
your safe haven.
it could be your room or within yourself.
usually foxes go deep underground during the winter months.
when summer rolls around,
you come up and roam the forest freely.
summer is also when all the other animals,
are out and about.
its usually comfortable down deep in your den.
just like its comfortable down deep within your insecurities…
have you ever wanted to re-invent yourself?
if you notice,
when people start to re-invent,
it’s all about their physical.
how many times have we seen this on #tbt?
what use to be a:
…is now juicy meat for the tasting.
unfortunately that same insecure little cub still lurks underneath the new fur.
don’t let clever selfies fool ya.
as much as you are getting his new meat,
and i’m sure the new meat tastes great,
you are still getting his leftover baggage as well.
those never go away no matter how much you lift.
in order to fully re-invent,
you first have to look within yourself.
you have to face all your insecurities head on.
thats where i’m at right now.
as much as i have a job,
this amazing blog,
and other blessings,
i realized today that i’m still nothappy.
i have the old bags of my past still on my shoulders.
i tried to organize some of them in the other suitcases marked “insecurities”.
i even bought a storage space to store them while i figure shit out.
well i can’t afford it anymore.
the shit is heavy and my back hurts.
hell everything hurts.
it takes someone trying to head towards GLOW status to realize that.
remember a true GLOW starts from the inside.
i want to be “madonna” after the “erotica” era.
“usher” when he did “my way”.
“rihanna” after she went “bad girl”.
“biggie” after “life after death”.
“pac” after “makavelli”.
“ye” during his “graduation”.
“beyonce” after she went “solo”.
“pink” after she realized she wasn’t “black”.
that awakening when you figure out who you are.
i want to handle things differently,
not let people like liar liar get to me,
thinking positively first instead of going way left field,
learning to just relax,
and finally realizing “leave emotions at the door”.
i want to say “i give no fucks” and mean it.
i’ve been depressed lately.
feeling claustrophobic in the den i created for myself.
today is the day all my bags got in my way.
sure my emotions create great art,
but i want to finally love the artist.
so i want a re-invention for “GLOW”.
i just don’t know how to go about it.
Does anyone else feel like this?