i listened to ^that album all day yesterday.
i never heard it before,
but the “amazing grace” track is a beautiful.
gospel music can really make things better.
yesterday wasn’t a good day.
i felt i needed a break.
there was a lot going on inside me.
i did realize something tho…
i will never go into anything without protective mode on again
every one of us,
from foxes to wolves,
have a protective mode.
we wouldn’t survive in the forests without it.
too many times,
i went into jobs optimistic and “bright eyed; bushy tailed”.
i knew there was “red flags”,
but i figured keep my head down and suck it up.
all the signs where there,
but i refused to leave it alone out of “lack”.
lack creates fear.
fear makes you see the worse in everything.
i’ll go into things asking myself:
(ex: who will i be working for?)
(ex: what will my pay be?)
(ex: when can i expect an answer when issues arise?)
(ex: where can see reviews on the company?)
(ex: why is everyone giving it bad ratings?)
(ex: how can we both agree for this to be a great working environment?)
the whites do it all the time.
karaoke and the pretty vixen do it as well.
nothing wrong with making sure you’re good.
the “put your head down and suck it up” life is over.
that goes for:
why stay in something that is driving you crazy?
it never gets better once you are far down the forest.
so instead of wasting time,
i make sure i always address the situation,
once i see it’s not working then i’m out.
i’ll be happy to interview my replacement.
there is no reason i put up with half the shit i did.
learning lessons tho.
we can’t grow without them.
just a quick update.
i missed you guys,
but sometimes i need a minute to get my shit together.
i did over my budget with the funds i was given also.
i’ll be aight until unemployment rolls in.