you know sally had a saying when life makes you deal with mean and hateful people think of them as sand paper. they may scratch you they may rub you in the wrong way, but eventually you will polished and smooth and the sandpaper… well, it will be worn and ugly. (Beyonce, The Fighting Temptations)
It hurts when you are treated like trash, don’t it?
Have you ever done good for someone (or people),
and it goes UN-acknowledged and UN-appropriated?
That seems to have been my experiences of “When Proving Myself Goes Wrong“…
But, you learn to not over-extend yourself to people who you know won’t give a fuck.
That is what happened when I went back to my old job Friday….
I didn’t want to go.
I had to go see someone who who always gracious to me on their last day there.
I got an email a week before that they were throwing her a surprise party.
I was going to also be the surprise.
She spoke highly of me when I was working there ,
so I had go show her some love.
I was late as hell.
Blame me, that heat, and the train.
I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t a little nervous of going,
I haven’t gone back to see anyone since I was let go couple months ago.
But when I got there, all of my old co-workers were happy to see me.
“OMG you look so great!”
“You look rested and refreshed!”
“Shit you are glowing!”
I got no negative reviews.
I think I took my old co worker’s shine.
I found out so many people were worried about me.
They did not agree with how I was let go and were always asking if anyone heard from me.
I was being pulled in so many directions,
that I had no time to see everyone that I wanted too.
Remember old Co-Worker Wolf (and here)?
Well, I was catching up with this female and he decides to walk up to her and start playing with her.
Just randomly out of nowhere.
Flicking her face and acting like a child as she was in mid-conversation with me.
He said nothing to me… or was pretending like he was trying not too.
I saw him staring out the corner of his eyes as he stood next to me.
I thought he was going to join the conversation.
He wasn’t going to get that pleasure with acknowledgement for me.
(although he looked good as shit and has gotten a little muscular)
I had yet to see my old boss.
The one who let me go and who I really did not want to see.
That is, until I was leaving.
Do you know my old boss had the nerve to come up to me and say he was thinking of me?
He also asked me why do I not even come to visit and how I was doing with my life thus far?
As much as I wanted to drop an anvil on that man’s whole situation….
I just sucked it up and killed him with kindness.
I politely let him know that I am working towards my career and life is good.
I would never let him DARE see me sweat.
Someone told me he said that I was probably going to be mad because he hasn’t called me to see how I was doing.
(lowkey: Your number was erased so you would have gotten a nice voice mail.)
All in all,
it felt good to know that I was still loved and missed.
But, I think it hurt that someone I actually worked and slaved for did me so wrong.
It sucks that out of the 98% of people who were excited to see me,
this one person made me feel like I wasn’t worth it.
Co-Worker Wolf excluded.
But, God did not want me to be there any longer.
I finally had to accept that.
oh and i heard from so many people…
the person that i was replaced with…
he is terrible, UN-professional, and a HUGE bitch.
not to mention a raging queen, to top it all off.
definitely, no me.
too bad people don’t realize that til i’m gone.