i was taught to fear many things. hell, everything.
i grew up in a strict christian household and everything was the enemy.
if you asked anyone in my family when i was a kid,
i was rebellious and a bit of a wild card.
as the years went on,
and i got broken down piece by piece,
i started to get consumed by all kinds of fears.
I’ve always been in fear of God.
i didn’t want to appear disobedient in fear of going to hell or karma.
this last year has literally been from the pits of hell.
every time i think i take 2 steps forward,
i’m pushed down the stairs back into the basement.
i’ve been trying not to question God but it has been hard. when i woke up this morning, the other window in my living room fell out.
needless to say,
i blacked the entire fuck out at 6 am and screamed on God…
i use to own a little sports car many years ago.
it was an older model,
but you couldn’t tell me shitwhen i was in that.
this was way before i started writing on here.
i was living at my sister’s aunt’s crib and life was kinda peaceful.
something went down and i owed money on the car.
i ended up having to park it and get on that metrocard plan.
it stayed parkedfor a year or two without movement.
i would have to go shovel it out of snow every winter. sometimes, i didn’t. one day i went out outside and saw a red letter stuck to the window…
from the time i could remember, i grew up within a strict Jehovah’s Witness household at the hands of my grandmother.
she used that religion to abuse me and other family members she raised.
my mother wasn’t about that religion or any religion for that matter.
she had no say in my grandmother’s rulership since i only saw her during the weekends.
once i got old enough to leave that religion,
i was out.
i found it really weird if you broke “the rules” within the cult religion,
you are banished until they let you back in.
you can’t even speak to your own JW family because they have to shun you,
even if you all live together.
the pentecostal churches i found myself in after didn’t fare any better. as you know:
I love to drag toxic Christianity and the members it serves.
it’s one of my many passions.
one of the foxholers sent me an ig post from krystal cox. she is a lesbian and the church she attended sent her an interesting letter…
have you ever wished things came easier like it does for other people? like, you had a pretty chill life with minimal bs being throw at you?
i know that’s silly to think that,
but i’m tired of being tested. better yet…
religion is one of the worst things to happen to black folks.
they take that shit and run into a whole field of contradictions. growing up, i thought brandon t. jackson was so fine.
he had me open in “lottery ticket“.
he is a black hebrew isrealite who claims his career took a hit because of sin. you’ll never guess what it was via “tmz“…