i was due for a day to relax.
i have been doing too much.
i felt burnt out and completely over everything.
so what i did?
stayed in bed 95% of the time.
catching up on the 5th season of “pretty little liars”
sleeping off and on
breaking my “no jack off” fast for the day
deep conditioning my hair
it was a really lazy “me” day.
in between all these things,
i thought about my situation with work wolf.
i came to a decision i think would be best…
stay friends as normal,
even go into “best” straight wolf territory,
but if he ever decided to pursue me for anything other than:
i will politely turn him down.
now before you judge,
and i know you will,
he texted me yesterday to check up on me.
we ended up texting for a pretty long time.
he seems to like it when we talk about “us”,
meaning the present and future dreams of our friendship/lives,
rather than me being nosy and asking him about his love/sex life.
i am a fox and we’re nosy.
so even though i wanted to pry,
i decided to ignore my inner nosiness and move on.
maybe its my self defense mechanism,
but i just want it to stay how it is.
i think i took “being bold” a little too far.
i thought if i asked the right questions,
and questioned him about things,
it would help my case.
it actually makes me look like “the nagging girlfriend”.
you know the ones who get a special “DO NOT ANSWER” in a phone.
maybe simply these 2 emojis:
even tho from his actions,
he secretly likes it when i do that.
i’m also going to try not jumping to conclusions.
i can be honest and say i could taken ( x friday’s incident ) wrong.
when he is in a bad mood,
he tends to be real negative.
i will ignore his ass until he cools down.
he is big on “playing your position” as he once told me.
he has a lot of growing to do.
i have a lot of growing to do.
this is all “new” to me.
i’ve never dealt with this kind of straight wolf before.
i will make mistakes especially when i have some kind of feelings.
i won’t apologize for being a dumb ass.
lowkey: i do have a question for the foxhole:
how does one ignore to ask about the vixens and hoes in his life?
even when your “inner fox” wants to sniff out an answer?
i think that would help a lot if i can achieve that.