It Felt Like I Had A Thousand Thick 9″ Dicks Inside Me

*the following is gonna be tmi for some,
but it’s honest for others and myself

i’m worn the fuck out this morning.
i didn’t go to bed until 4 something this morning.
i’m not complaining because i was up for a good reason

so i was looking for something to curb my depression.
i’ve been feeling pretty good,
but i was starting to slip.
i was hearing about vitamin d pills,
but something else in walgreens caught my eye about two weeks ago:

the sales person said it was really popular.
it cost me 30 bills,
but i was ready to try anything to help me pull it together.
they did.
it took a day for me to i feel like i was on a natural high.
whenever my mind took a left,
i noticed i would  quickly feel optimistic.
the “night” pills made me feel too tired,
but that “day” was lit.

as i’m going about my days,
i notice that i’m not using the bathroom as i usually do.
i starting to get too happy to notice.
i had no urge to use the bathroom or anything.
i found that weird.
so one day,
i ate something that made me want to go.
i was constipated like a muthafucka.
my poop was hard as rocks.
i had to brace myself to take a shit.
i’m on the toilet like:

that one mega dump literally ripped my inside.
i made the mistake and strained to get it out.
i regret it now,
but i was in “get the shit the fuck outta me” mode.
i figured it was those pills that was backing me up.
after i stopped taking them last week,
from that day on,
it was like i was shittin’ glass.
the poop was still hard and i bled every time i wiped.
it was legit scary and had me in a panic.
i thought i had anal cancer or something.
i reach.
i was feeling sad due to seeing the blood,
how bad it hurt to use the bathroom,
and how gassy i was becoming.
my whole bathroom situation was off and i was scared to use it.

i made up my mind this week that i was gonna do a detox.
i copped a magnesium citrate (citroma) and “detox tea” from yogi.
it would help make my poop softer,
but it would also get everything out of me so i can “start over”.
well it sure did.
i took it when i came home yesterday at 7 and…

i feel super empty.
i didn’t see any bleeding so that’s good.
i think the hard poop was rubbing against the rip.
i’m gonna do a couple epsom salts baths and allow this to heal.
i want to feel normal again.

lowkey: ironically enough,
all this has me feeling depressed again.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

10 thoughts on “It Felt Like I Had A Thousand Thick 9″ Dicks Inside Me”

  1. Hopefully you feel better when it get in my depressive moods Its hard af to get out of them.

  2. Not being funny but you can also drink a little of the epson salt, as long as it is ONLY magnesium like the ones you find in the first aid isle, and not scented like the ones in the beauty isle, magnesium will get you going and soften the poop if you find yourself backed up again, just a teaspoon with a full glass of warm water will flush you out

  3. Ouch. You may want to see a doctor and get some suppositories. And some Metamucil to help moving forward. That’s the legit worst. And to boost your mood, you may want to start working out. It’s a natural release of endorphins.

  4. Alot of meds will do that to you! When I broke my arm I got some pain meds, I was taking them and feeling good, nit realizing that 1 of the side effects was sever constipation! Bro! When I tell you! By day 6 I felt sooooo backed up!like I wanted 2 throw up I felt so full. Nothing was coming out! It was agony!

  5. Yeah, when you take those hard shits it can tear vessels in your rectal cavity, which is why you get the blood. Take stool softeners every now and then.

    1. ^im was so scared to talk to anyone about this in my real life,
      but i felt more comfortable with the foxhole.
      which should be scarier LOL

  6. Baby, been there before. I notice a lot of pills can really mess up your digestive system and have your stomach and intestines all out of whack. After the Epsom salt baths all should be well

    1. ^omg it has been the worst d.
      the worst!
      the pills made me feel so good tho.
      i was legit happy and carefree.
      now i feel back to square one again…

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