I’m Just Not Fuckin’ Anyone Right Now. Is That Bad?

How-to-Paint-a-Growth-Chart-for-Children-o-the-Wall4growth.
you know when you have grown because you look at things differently.
before you may have cursed someone out for violating your entire situation.
now you take a deep breath,
ignore,
and move on.
let them look stuck on stupid because you pay them dust.
what happens when you realize you outgrow people in your life?
even though you still have a connection to them?
well i have been talking to a friend i x mentioned on here recently,
but now i’m realizing i’m starting to be over it.
we had a conversation recently that went like this…

“i want to find someone i’m actually attracted to,
but it’s so hard these days…”
“no its not.
you just aren’t applying yourself.”

“yes i did. i been on chat sites and the whole 9.”
“let me ask you a question and it’s not meant to be insulting. are you asexual?”
“um no.”
“well i’m just asking because in order to survive in life you need 4 things: air, water, food, and intercourse…”

at that point,
i wanted to ask if this why you’re having random sex with strangers without condoms on?

“do you even know what asexual means?”
“no.
i was hoping you would say you were so we could talk about it.”

1591035inZ6gfuck him.
i never looked at myself at asexual.
PERIOD.
not the way my body heat rises when i see a bad nigga.
hell i saw johnny crome in that video and pictured myself ridin’ him.

Screen Shot 2013-05-28 at 7.21.23 PM

Screen-Shot-2013-05-28-at-7.20.58-PMi have masturbated 8 times back to back in one day.
i’ve had great sex and i want more great sex,
but i’m not going out there being reckless to get it.
“i’m just not fuckin’ anyone right now.”
he makes it seem like a bad thing.
i have committed a great sin.
i won’t survive if i don’t have a ton of niggas fuckin’ me stupid.
i’m moreso trying to get income cummin in steadily.
not a peen inside me.
it would be great,
but i’m not actively looking like i once desperately was.
so clearly this friend doesn’t know me anymore.
i think the foxhole knows me more than he does at this point.
we have grown apart and i’m actually okay with that.
he was always really jealous of star fox and i’s relationship.
star fox couldn’t stand him honestly.
he did say that he knows i’m really clean and cautious.

“too bad i can’t say the same for you.”

…but i bit my tongue as hard as i could.

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Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

14 thoughts on “I’m Just Not Fuckin’ Anyone Right Now. Is That Bad?

  1. He doesn’t seem too bright lol
    But I feel you on out growing people.
    Idk why getting dick is a priority to people
    especially when they need to be getting their lives together or at least getting comfortable with a job, car and a place to stay.
    dick is not that important

  2. Sounds like someone who you need to cut. The past year of abstinence has been the happiest of my adult life. I deleted all my online profiles, sent a lot of “im not hooking up” texts, and gave up drinking and bars/clubs.

    Companionship is great, but clear-headedness is greater.

    1. ^i don’t get how he can assume something about me,
      but don’t know what it means.
      that alone made me not interested in his friendship any longer.

      i am more focused on making a better life for myself.
      if i meet someone in between that time i won’t turn it down.
      i’m not chasing anything.

      1. OT what do you think about Lauryn Hill’s song Neurotic. Society people are calling it homophobic .I don’t know what the Hell she is talking about.I miss Miseducation Lauryn

  3. No it’s not bad. Who wants to be used and shit for sex? I can’t have Random sex cause dude is going to get attached. I don’t want a nigga calling me over and over when it was just a one night stand. I want a boyfriend, and a good one lol.

    When it comes to Johnny, I don’t like him as an artist, but I think he’s cool. Y’all might as well stop fantasizing about him, he gives me Fox and big freak vibes. I bet he’s nasty af.

  4. Neurotic Society is only homophobic it its also offensive to every other cultural demographic.

    The song is all about breaking free of the constraints and rules of society.

    People probably woulda got it if she didn’t cram 3 songs worth of lyrics into 3 minutes.

  5. I don’t know, having Mr. Nasty Time with no cuffing every few weeks keeps me sane.

    More power to those who can be celibate.

  6. Jamari. I know how you feel. As you grow older and wiser, the people change in your life. I am currently celibate right now. I have been since 2008 ( I haven’t had inter course anyway). In my 20s and 30s I was all over the place sexually but now I am 44 years old. I want some substance. I want intimacy. I want love not sex. And don’t feel bad about your friend. As you can see just by reading your story, you have outgrown him. You have grown spiritually and he hasn’t .

    1. ^i agree blaq.

      i want more.
      i don’t think that’s wrong.
      its typical to sleep around.
      im not beyond sleeping with someone im comfortable with,
      but no one makes me comfortable.
      no one wants to get to know me.
      they just want to take me for a test drive and that’s it.
      this is why i miss star fox because he knew what I was about.

      1. Give it time .. Its all about God’s time and not our time when love hits or when we meet someone of substance. Just concentrate on building you, making you stronger. The person you are supposed to be with will come and you will know it.

  7. Just came past this and thought this was interesting, why would they even ask you about your current state of sexual desire, thats none of their business, and definitely can outgrow people and yourself, some people just dont understand where you are going in life and no need to explain to them because they will be left behind still wondering about what you are doing with your life instead fixing their own.

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