I’m His Side Piece and The Main Will Fuckin’ Deal.

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i had some basic jackal thinking today…


speaking with straight wolves,
you learn so much from them.
i’m starting to think men in general are all allergic to being faithful.
i read ( x this recent article ) about akon that,
as much as he was ratchet as hell,
he made a lot of sense.
my basic jackal thinking came from the idea that being the side may just be better.
maybe im not being basic at all.
could it be facing a reality we all once tried to ignore?
now this is going past a sexual relationship and into an emotional one.
blow up dolls need not read.
listen we all want to be the main to some great wolf.
just like instagram accounts,
you don’t always get the whole story to every picture.
with relationships these days,
there’s always “something”.
one common trend i’ve noticed is the main is always stressed.
up late at night,
pulling their hair out,
and getting older before their time.
to clarify: not all mains are.
the side is usually the one with the money,
sitting pretty,
usually his fantasy,
and enjoying the perks without the actual commitment.
the person he has fun with.
the one he can kick it with and not have any issues.
in a world where the villain is the good guy,
outing someone makes you popular,
and the more scandalous you are means the more respect you get,
is this now a world were the side is better?
sure holidays are spent alone,
visits cum during certain times of night,
and you can’t fully claim him as your own.
does it even matter?
some side pieces have been happy for years.
no complaints.
they don’t even talk about it out loud to anyone.
shit nowadays these niggas will treat you like the boyfriend and be bold with it.
texting you while the hubby is right next to him.
“a whole new world” playing in the background.
am i being pessimistic?
or am i just being a realist?
sure i hope i meet someone that is 110% faithful,
but i’m not getting my hopes up.
in my eyes there are pluses to being the main and the side.

scandal4i had to wonder going into 2014

Is being on the side the better position?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

29 thoughts on “I’m His Side Piece and The Main Will Fuckin’ Deal.

  1. Nah, because the main one usually gets chosen, but they are times where ol jumpoff wins. The jumpoffs are not cuff material, just sex objects. They don’t do shit but give you some and that’s it. Sex is easy to get for me, I want a keeper. I want to cuddle a nigga in my arms at night, and wake up next to him smelling his morning breath lol. It’s nothing like being in love, rather than just getting meaningless sex.

    1. ^ive seen more sides getting more than sex man.
      im seeing them being claimed,
      fought for,
      and getting the same treatment as the main.
      when anyone goes past sex and becomes an emotional connection,
      you can go farther than a play thing.
      im talking about those side pieces.
      not the hoes who do it for free.

      1. Here’s the thing. We never know what someone’s relationship is like. How do you know for sure that the jumpoff is getting better treatment? You think so? Looks can be deceiving. Just because it looks like the jumpoff better treatment doesn’t mean that they are The only way you know is if the man tells you which one gets treated better. To some Joseline was winning over Mimi, but she still experienced lies and deceit just like Mimi did. At one point, Stevie told Joseline that he and Mimi were not in a relationship, but that was not the case. He was still living with her, and Joseline did not know. If you ask me, no one is winning if a man is going in between two lovers because no one wants to share, and neither of them have the man full time.

  2. I really don’t know what to say about this.
    My mom was a mistress and had a love child which is me, of course, while my father’s ex wife never had a child from him because he never want one. My mom who was a “side” gain something more special than the main one. So I see what Jamari is saying.
    Speaking about Akon, did you know he is prejudice against dark skin black women?

      1. yea i think so.
        sides appreciate the men more than the main.
        Here is a list of the problems the mains give to their men.
        – They expect affection and love, while they never give back.
        – Always too tired for sex, they gotta remember men are physical beings.
        – Nasty Attitudes
        – Complaining/nagging can drive a man crazy
        – Trust issues which is a bad thing because if you don’t have trust in your man then he is likely to cheat on you because you don’t trust and doesn’t have the need to be good.
        – Some mains like to play the mind game and expect their men to read their mind instead of their mouth.

      2. some African people have nasty attitudes!!!
        I thought they were nice and friendly, but i learned very fast that they are not!
        i got stories about them.

    1. Yes, Akon and Kanye West and Reggie Bush are among the list of the self-hating, anti-Black racists that I can’t stand. Unfortunately, the list is long and wide!

      1. i read an article about akon and some unknown rapper from Nigeria telling all the dark skinned model to leave because they are only searching for half caste(mixed race) models.
        Akon, Kanye, and Reggie are insecure about themselves because they are like fat people telling overweight people that they are too fat to be their friend or something.

      2. Yup, and those are the types we lust after. Think about it. We talk about how fine some of these men are and if they were gay we wouldn’t get a second look.

      3. It true! I haven’t seen one openly gay black celebrity date a non-white man.
        Can someone please explain to me what so special about white men?

      4. Well Lindo, you just opened up another door. The white man complains less, he gives the black man a better image, he is light skin, he has good hair, and most importantly he is a pushover. This would be the opinion of black men who love them.

      5. However, I don’t get what those guys who date them see. I have never dated one, and I don’t see it happening ever. I need a man who is strong mentally, and white men aren’t that, and I need my man to be ghetto, occasionally loud, and he has to have that swagger that I like.

      6. @TheMan I dated a white man before, but it wasn’t because of those reasons you said except I was rather curious and also because of media too I mean when you watch so much of white men especially gay ones it does affect the mind. I realize they are not my type at all and some of my friends make such a big deal about white guys plus they change as soon they date a white man they become so stuck up! But I am pretty much attracted to guy of African descent like here in the States, Caribbeans, Latin America & Canada.

  3. well i was a side piece it was fine, cause at the beginning i was treated like the darm main. Drama started when he wanted to add more sides than me.

    As i say if ya guy bi and could manage his shit i say go for it. But make sure he is furthering your life. My grandmother rest her soul believe in the side piece needs to ensure the man has your business in order. In her sixties she had this elderly gentle man who use to visit booty call hours and she would cook a meal for him, listen to him complain about his wife and she had him building her cupboards, tiling the bathroom lol lol. She always yell at my mother for being dumb and securing her shit.

  4. Well this brought me out of hiding so don’t judge. I am the side to a married bisexual man. I didn’t mean to get so deep but he makes me happier than when I was dating gay men. I actually met him after a bad break up that left me in pieces. He treats me good, buys me things, pays my bills, the sex is remarkable, and he even has me in his will. I’m truly happy. It may not work for some people out there but it’s working for me.

    1. You know why it works for you tho. You are his main, and she is likely his beard to protect his image. Ever thought about that? You are his wife. He is using her. I give you mad props since that nigga is paying your bills, and you are in his will too. I have one question tho. Have you seen the will? I would make him show it to me lol. If he dies people gonna be wondering who the hell you are lol. I would love to see that family gathering when the will is being read. Lord Jesus lol.

      That booty of yours must be hella good. You go boi!

  5. Personally gay men work better as side pieces than bitches. We already know to keep our mouth closed, get fed, and we manage to get men to show their emotions. White gays are notorious for messing with married men and getting the good life. Id rather be a side than the main with these niggas plus down low and bi men are sexier. Yessuh I said it.

  6. I’m big on loyalty, plus I’m selfish so I could never be anyone’s side piece. If he isn’t loyal to someone he deemed worthy enough to be his main, he damn sure won’t be loyal to you.

    Any grown ass man allowing some man they’re fucking to pay his bills and give him money all the time is kind of bitch made.

    Earn the good life your damn self. Stop leeching off someone else.

      1. Sorry Jamari, but its true.
        There isn’t much of a stigma attached to women being taken care of because men are supposed to do that. If a woman can take care of herself and doesn’t need a man that’s excellent, but most men will still feel the need to take care of her.

        I didn’t create the gender roles, but if you want to apply them to same sex relationships, which is what some gays tend to do, then any grown ass man being taken care of by another man financially isn’t a man at all.

        People can glorify that shit and make it seem like they’re winning and all that shit, but remember while you’re reaping the benefits of someone else’s work, swiping their credit cards, it all can be taken away in a heart beat and you won’t have a pot to piss in.

    1. If a dude can hold his own, and is getting his bills paid by someone else, then he is fine, but he can’t be sitting on his ass doing nothing. I want to see some effort.

  7. This is for all you Foxes, and a lot of y’all ain’t gone like it. I’m gonna say this one time, and one time only. Women come before men, period. This is not up for an argument or a discussion at all. Women are naturally delicate, sensitive creatures, and they deserve the best. Men come second, and we always will. If a man and a woman both arrive at a doorway at the same time, the woman is supposed to go first ALWAYS. Let her go first, that’s the way it should be. The issue I have with Foxes is, some of y’all are divas, I’m serious. Us Wolves can tell you because we see y’all. The Wolf is supposed to call or text first all the time. It don’t work like that with two men. Y’all gotta learn. Foxes don’t want to be seen as feminine, but have feminine ways. Niggas getting mad when you don’t call them for weeks, when all they had to do was pick up the phone and call. Where is your testosterone at? Do NOT forget that you are MEN, and y’all do not deserve the same treatment as females, I’m sorry.

    If a dude is choosing not to work and living Porsha Stewart style and depending on his man, then that’s a problem. I will not support a Fox. He will NOT be sitting home all day eating Breyers ice cream out of the carton and watching soap operas while I’m out busting my ass, hell to the no. We love y’all, but as men you have to at least want your own. If a dude fall on hard times and need some extra money I got his back. I’ll help him without a question cause that’s my boo and I can’t let him go hungry, and I know the he would do the same for me…….I hope. I don’t know y’all Foxes are mean to us, and we are only good when y’all want some pipe.

  8. @Man, you hit the nail on the head. A lot of men in this lifestyle, let their sexual position define how they will and should be treated. So just because you are a bottom you are supposed to be submissive and wait for a nigga to open doors, pull chairs, and pay the bills. All because you get fucked?

    That’s why a lot of gay men can’t sustain relationships because they are to focused on the sexual role and trying to conform to the ways of a heterosexual relationship that they forget to enjoy the relationship and company of another man, for being what he is a MAN.

    1. Men are equal. Bottoms do NOT come before Tops and vice versa.

      If I had a Fox paying my bills, I would be called a lazy ass bum. I know how it works. The Foxes want to stop losing to white men, but won’t acknowledge what they are doing wrong that is driving us away from them. Checking your ego and getting back your testosterone would be a start. Man up.

  9. I got a good homie who is dealing with 2 foxes right now, and I ask him how the hell does he even keep up, he tells me he likes both of them but its certain traits in each one that he likes so he is going to keep both around for the time being and hope they dont find out about each other, until he can make up his mind to get rid of one.

    I used to judge dudes who kicked it with more than one male or str8 dudes with females for that matter at a time but life has taught me that you may find yourself in that same situation you are judging someone else about. I am currently not really seriously seeing anyone but talking to a couple of dudes, not sexual at this time so I dont feel like I am doing anything wrong because I figure they are doing the same thing. Thanks to my body transformation a couple of years ago and the internet, I am now able to take shirtless pics with a big chest and arms 🙂 and I have boys from Coast to Coast trying to get with me and though I have never been a player type dude, I wonder if I found the one would I stop talking to all these other dudes and let them know I am serious with someone. I cant front I am enjoying my new found gay fame lol, I think the male ego just loves attention so its easy to kick it with more than one dude. I know at this time, I could be a character playing with peoples emotions and heart, but I am old enough to know better and to pace myself in this lifestyle. I hope that I never really fall for someone else partner because I would want the opportunity to enjoy my dude to myself, if I found the one. I would tell anyone to run away from dudes with females and not get excited about a relationship with one because these dudes are usually batshit crazy dealing with many emotional problems and they will mess your head and your heart up.

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