have you ever just felt angry?
but read me out.
have you ever gotten to your wits end and felt like you wanted to explode?
your emotions can’t stay bottled up any longer so you want to release.
that is where i am now.
when i think of how i got here,
my parents and how they emotionally/mentally/physically abused me
their deaths and how i was not prepared for the real world
the amount of folks who took a part in all the stab wounds in my back
i go to recent times:
all these overdue bills
this fall i took.
the way i can’t stop playing that over in my head,
how scared i felt when i struggled to get up,
and now the healing i’m doing.
someone i’m cool with that has been moving funny sent me a text:
how are you feeling?”
they been gallivanting with their new relationship to even give a fuck.
after i fell,
i called to talk because i just needed to get my mind off the pain.
the majority of that conversation was about them.
as soon as i started to mention something about me,
they legit fell asleep on the phone.
so my response was:
i been real disappointed with you.
i need a moment before i respond because i’ll say something i might regret.
i’ll hit you when i’m ready…”
you can’t talk to someone that has hurt you while you are angry.
Taking a gun and shooting at everything but your target
your mouth is lock and loaded,
but you don’t realize the amount of kick back it can have.
i got a text back from them in 2.5 seconds.
sad face emojis and “hurt bunny looks” but in font.
i have a new mouth and don’t know the amount of kick back i’ll have.
i was watching “the gifted” and was really into it.
i didn’t want to interrupt my programming.
i don’t want to shoot and miss the point.
lowkey: fonting about this makes me feel better.
i need to release everything through my writing.
thanks for reading.