for a while,
i thought i was asexual.
not that there is nothing wrong with being asexual,
but in the gay/bi/and tri forests,
fucking randomly and recklessly is almost everyone’s calling card.
the thing is…

i didn’t think i was all the way asexual.

meaning: i love sex and i’m highly attracted to other males,
but i don’t really like hook ups even though i have done them.
i only had one hook up that was amazing but he made is extremely comfortable.

i’m not fuckin in the middle of a sex party
not even getting smashed by some random at the gym
there will be no sex in the champagne room

i’ve had my ho-ish moments in the past,
and tbh a lot of it was trying to be like star fox (RIP),
so i’m not some virgin but i do get turned on by:

the chase
the anticipation
the mental and emotional stimulation
the tension
the teasing
the eye contact
the “we shouldn’t be doing this but i want to do this”

my fantasies run very hot.
i like connections; not proximity.
this is why sex apps never worked for me like others.
so i’ve come to accept…

that i’m a demisexual

i can run wild horny but i don’t act on it.
i think this is why the wolves i attracted went deep and left me heartbroken.
it was the experience,
build up,
and wanting that had me stuck on stupid.
i realllllllllllllllly was open off anticipation.

too bad they ended up being pussies.

if i’ve been talking or fonting with a wolf on interest,
i have no problem riding him if i choose to.

tbh,
there are many Foxholers who are like this.

i do love hearing about random hookups because it’s hot.
getting off to some of your confessions is peak.
when i think about all the wolves i’ve talked or fonted about IRL,
99% of them were never “hook ups“.
there was heat between us that i was yearning to explore.
i think that’s why people could pick up on our chemistry and tension.
imagine if we did finally get it in?
again: pussies.

i think the beauty is accepting who you are,
what you like,
and where you feel the most comfortable.

…because people can tell when you are doing the opposite.