When I see a Wolf, I see his face first.
SHOCKING, I know.
Most Foxes scanning for dick prints.
I figure, I got to look at you.
Then, I scan his lips.
Then I take a trip around his body.
I determine if he has nice arms and a nice chest.
I then scan to his cakes and see if he is holding some Charmin type cheeks back there.
As I am scanning, I look at his gear to see if he has some sort of style.
Finally, I’ll determine how good he is in bed.
….yup, I can be pretty damn shallow.
But, I started to wonder if that is healthy.
I have been attracted to some Wolves who no one thought was sexy, so I’m not that bad.
Some people can go out there, get with someone they aren’t really attracted to, and get something out the deal.
Whether it is money, free rides, or eventually fall in love.
I started to wonder:
Is having a standard on the men you choose to date healthy?
Now, I am not one to turn down a Wolf because he isn’t “FINE AS HELL“.
But, I am not attracted to Wolves who do not at least turn me on.
I have to be able to look at you and my dick gets hard.
I can’t just be with this:
… and try to make it work.
I will cheat on you with the next hot Wolf smokin’.
Is this wrong?
Am I a terrible person?
Or, do I just want the best and know I deserve it?
I know a Vixen who is always in a relationship… with UN-attactive Wolves.
I have seen her with bald, fat, odd-looking…. but never BROKE.
She gets with them
They pamper her (she is gorgeous)
Then, worship the ground she walks on
Something happens… and then:
NEXT WOLF!
It gets to the point that even AFTER the relationship is over,
they are still buying her things.
If she needed help, she has a contact full of “Cap’n Save A Hoe“.
She has the ability to get into a Wolve’s heads and completely mind fuck him.
Once she does, she controls the game (all while still being sweet as pie).
Smart girl.
On the flip side, I have seen Foxes who will be on BGC and A4A playing with pipe to get a bill paid.
They will meet the ugliest Wolf and seduce him.
My issue is it is for a temporary bill and nothing long term.
You sleeping on someone couch and you fucking for Value Meals?
I need some kind of explanation…
It got me wondering about the eternal mind fuck with people you aren’t really attracted too.
Ugly Wolves/Foxes/and Hybrids will do whatever you please just to smell your drawers.
While, the sexy ones refuse to even bend over backwards because they can do whatever/whomever they want.
I guess I am in that category because I am not trying to bend, but maybe I need to bend just a little?
Maybe we all need to step outside our dating standards?
Or, should we should keep our standards so we can prove to the world we are not alone?
Settling…
Damn Vain why do you have to be so cold in breaking down shit. I didnt have nothing to say after that you told the “sho nuff” truth as the old people say. Its sad in gay life but we value looks and shallow shit over everything else and it usually leaves us alone. I see white couples all the time and both look “shitty messes” but they make it work, not focusing on external factors such as looks and body. Sadly hardly ever see any black couples, I know several dudes with partners but they rarely are ever seen together, and when you see them solo they act like they are solo for the most part unless someone ugly tries to hit on them, and then they say they have somebody lol. I think as we get older in this lifestyle we are not going to have a choice but to let some of our superficial shallow behavior go or we will be alone, there is just a small window in gay life when you are considered desirable and then its nothing left but the crying.
Lol i try to just express myself as best i can.
But as far as the small window, is it that men who are in our own age bracket will no longer see us as attractive and begin going for the younger guys? At what age does that begin to happen?
Round the late 30s to early 40s lol
Basically, stop putting dick on a pedestal.
Stop confusing looking good with being good. Stop chasing men that you know do not want you. Stop asking what wolves think in the abstract and make an effort to walk up to any wolf you are interested in and have a conversation without manipulation or stipulation. Stop over thinking, over analyzing, hoping-wishing-praying that a wolf is gonna notice you, like you, want you, or chase after you. Just stop, you are driving yourself crazy trying to complicate something that is simple.
It can be settleing because you can kinda tell we’re it’s going from the hello. As you know Jamari I’m not that big in looks and money don’t impress me much either. It’s the small things I like you know, like cooking my fave food or rubbing my feet that gets me. Yes there are the necessity we need food, rent, bills but I’m a grown man I can pay all of those myself. Foxes and wolves standards now days is whom ever is cute enough and who has the most flash they going for no substance at all. Like a poor dumb vixen who is at the club and see a wolf with fresh Js and a clean outfit they throw themselves at him and foxes are just as bad. Maybe when we follow our srandards we all will b happy
It’s settling when you get into something with someone, realize you are unhappy.. AND STAY THERE. That’s the distinction that i think needs to be made. We are free to go outside of our standards and try something new. Especially when what we’ve been doing hasn’t been working. I’ve done it and have experienced some mixed things. There are things i learned i can compromise on and things i can’t in order for me to be satisfied. Having standards isn’t really the problem. Its believing that certain secondary traits like a nice body, attractive face, big penis, nice job, cute degree, etc…. are factors that increase the likelihood of someone being a good partner in a relationship.
If you say that you value love, care, trust, and respect, but you chase guys for passion, attraction, chemistry, sex, and excitement, you’ll likely end up with a fun loving, great lay, that looks great and makes your heart skip, but treats you like a casual partner and has no desire to be in a committed relationship. You have to learn to put your primary values first when choosing a partner. If you value intimacy and companionship, and they value their solitude and doing things their way, they will consistently do things that exclude you and make you feel anything but intimate or a companion. Thus meaning the two of you are incompatible.
From a fox’s perspective, I think since our options aren’t as plentiful, we sort of choose with our eyes and libidos first and then hope that all the important stuff can come later. Once we prove to them how great of a partner we can be, of course. We mostly ask for you to be attractive and masculine and we can sort of bend ourselves this way and that to try and work around who you are… if it means keeping you around. What needs to change is as a collective we need to stop being satisfied with the crumbs of a man’s attention. Stop being okay with inconsistency and unavailability. With allowing certain unfriendly behavior to occur to us simply because he’s “fine” and gives us attention and we believe that there is a small face of finding someone like him again.