Gimmie An “S”! (For Silent Treatment!)

78989952_huge_wolf_by_picturebypalid491pb2its funny how you can blame yourself when things go wrong.
blame yourself for things that wasn’t really your fault.
it takes two to tango.
so what do you do?
you dissect a situation,
obsessive about it every minute,
and try to find the fault in your behavior.
the “could have been” and “what is” mind fucks.
when in actuality,
the other person is just as wrong.
they chose to ignore their part in the fuck shit.
so they are giving you the silent treatment for no reason at al.
i guess i’m realizing that is work wolf’s strategy in fall outs?
hmm…

so work wolf is not speaking to me.
in turn,
i am mirroring him.
he is giving me “the silent treatment” since our last disagreement.
yesterday,
he came into my department and started talking to liar liar.
he never acknowledged me.
i guess he is trying to hurt me in some day.
oh…
ok.
for something so minor,
is this what i have to deal with?
our usual daily text conversations have been silent.
its funny how he claims i am “emotional”,
but he is acting more of a bitch than i am.
i actually hit him up to talk about it.
i’m pretty much over it.
thats how small it was to me.
i guess its the “manly” thing to do to ignore the fox you said:

“i’m so thankful to have you in my life”
giphyhonestly speaking,
it was eating away at my self esteem.
i wanted to hit him up yesterday after the blatant spite.
i decided against it.
i guess i didn’t realize how hooked i got on him.

well that is until i googled “the silent treatment”.

i got a ton of articles/blogs of other animals,
like myself,
who suddenly got “punished” by people we care for.
i saw the words:

“emotionally immature”
“insecure narcissist”
“spoiled brat”

giphy-1work wolf seems to be all of those things.

i started to realize that in this friendship with had/have,
i’m really not losing anything if he goes.

i introduced him to new worlds and new experiences
i told him to work on his bawdy and try new things with his looks
i gave him kindness and love
i had his back and spoke highly of him to others

he isn’t going to meet anyone like “jamari fox”.
so if he wants to give me the silent treatment,
and threaten to end “us” over his own insecurities,
then can i really blame myself?

i don’t think so.

i refuse to fall into that trap.
he is showing he had more feelings for me than he liked to admit.
it will end up being his loss and someone else’s gain.
i won’t be rude if he decides to come back tho.
i may address it or let it be “his red flag”.
i guess the thing that bothers me the most is…

Will it end like this?

 thats the part that makes me shake my head the most.

giphy-2…but if it does,
the door is only a few steps away.

lowkey: lets see what happens next week.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

27 thoughts on “Gimmie An “S”! (For Silent Treatment!)

  1. Your overthinking it, I went through this with damn near every friend I have lol just chill, it’s not that deep 🙂

      1. Thanks for responding :). I’m going to share my biggest secret with you, I’ve never told this to anyone before (and don’t plan to either). The reason I commented is because I’ve been in the same situation as you and work wolf before. And to be honest, because I liked the person so much I would overthinking everything, it would drive me crazy!. It wasn’t sexual type of thing, we just really connected and had a bond. We’ve had plenty of stupid ass petty arguments, but it’s because we cared about each other. I’ve never had a friend like him so it was new territory for me. I’m still trying to figure out my sexuality now, and when I met him I just turned 18. But I never felt that way about the same sex, it was scary and thrilling at the same time. He was very good looking (Movie star good looking) and had hoes left and right, just throwing themselves at him. When I first met him, he did the typical macho wolf routine, we would go out, get drunk and bring girls home etc. But once we became more cool he really opened to me. He was 5 years older than me, but said I was like a older brother to him. He said he can really be himself around me because I never judged him. He’s cried on my shoulder about things that happened to him the past (he lost his mother at a young age), shared all his insecurities with me, took care of me when I was sick like a dog, told me his deepest fears/secrets. He would do some real suspect shit when we were alone, like ask me for hugs, call me boo, cuddle, hold hands, play fight, he’s kissed me on the cheek, tell me he loves me, singing love songs and shit. We would have so much fun around each other, he would spend weeks at my apartment and use to walk around naked after taking a shower. But it was strange because like you, I would get mixed signals all the time and it was so frustrating. I don’t speak to him now (silent treatment) even though he’s tried to contact me a million times and tells me he misses me, (I know, I’m petty). But to be honest it’s because I didn’t like the emotions he stirred up in me. I’m a little embarassed and I cringe thinking about certain situations. For instances, he slept with a lot of women and I didn’t care, he even showed me a sex tape he made and I teased him about being a broke ass Ron Jeremy lol. But when he found a girlfriend and they got serious, I started to get jealous. I was so confused and frustrated with myself because I wanted to not care so badly and get control of myself, but I couldn’t help the way I felt. We had a huge disagreement and I lost a very good friend behind it. Looking back, I wish I didn’t overthink everything, because after a while it lead to me overreacting. From what I’ve been reading he likes you more than he would like to, but he doesn’t know how to process it. And I’m sure it’s the same for you because, your not sure how to handle this friendship/relationship. I’m speaking from experience, it’s not that deep trust me!. I don’t even have feelings for kid anymore. Reading ur post about him makes me miss my friend though. And to be honest, you have a good friend (better than my friendship) and that’s hard to find these days, just go with the flow and try not to overthink it to much. He’s on his meriod (man period), and eventually you guys are going to laugh it off. By the way I came across ur blog 2 weeks ago and I stalk it on the regular now lol 😉

        P.S.
        I would love to get ur opinion my situation, I’ve never talked/wrote about it.

        1. ^thank you for tuning in john!

          i completely agree with the over-thinking.
          i do that on occasion with work wolf.
          your situation is similar.
          the mental bond is definitely there.

          do you ever see you both reconnecting?
          or are you completely done?

      2. I could see myself reconnecting, he’s fun to be around. But it would be awkward for me. He’s a very outgoing person and he would try to act like everything’s cool, but he has a tendency of trying to get over on you if you let him. So I’d proceed with caution.

        Are you an work wolf good now?

      3. P.S.
        I don’t know the full situation but in my petty days, when I use to give the silent treatment, it was because a line was crossed. And that was my way of making sure it wouldn’t be crossed again.

  2. I’ve been lurking on this site since around 2009, but I really want to step out of my comfort zone and start commenting here. I’m really trying to work on expressing the thoughts that run through my head–be it verbally or in written form.

    Anyway, the work wolf saga is so intriguing to me. One entry I think he’s on the bisexual side of things and he’s into you, then on another entry I think he’s hetero and just stringing you along for entertainment. Ultimately, I really do believe that he falls into the bisexual range of the ever so complicated spectrum of sexuality. We as commenters can only go by what you put into words on your blog (and trust me, I know that there are so many different types of energy and vibes you feel in person that can’t ever be translated into words) and we will all interpret it differently.

    Based on what I’ve read here, he’s attracted to you, which we all pretty much know. But I think that what you’re witnessing is his inability to process being mentally attracted to a person. Sure he’s been attracted to people physically, which allows him to use the shit out of women, but I don’t think he’s ever had a mental connection to a person–male or female. A mental connection is so much more powerful and its a little more complicated to comprehend than a physical one. On his end it’s probably overbearing to 1. make a mental connection to a person, and then 2. complicate things even worse by making that connection with a man; which goes against every single thing he’s learned in his life. It always make me chuckle to read the entries when he goes out with you, but also has to have a female there. Having a female there grounds him because he can continue to make the mental connection with you, but also have the comfort of a female there to stroke the hetero side of his ego.

    You have penetrated this man’s head and he has penetrated yours too. That’s why y’all fight about every damn thing. The feelings are too strong to process sometimes, so the easiest thing to do may be to just fight. I really can’t tell you what to do from here. No one can. Who knows…maybe if you’re both able to help each other sort through the emotions, you might end up walking into the greatest love you’ve ever had in your lives. Then also, it could end exactly like you mentioned in this post–y’all stop talking and you both take everything you learned through the situation and apply it to a mental and physical relationship with someone else. You just have to be prepared for both ends, more specifically the ending with you both being with someone else because it will hurt so much more.

    1. ^thank you for coming out of lurk mode to post hammie.
      i have read this comment a couple times.
      its how much it “hit” me.
      please try to post more often.
      you helped me as well as someone else out there.
      thank you.

      1. You’re welcome! I’m glad I could help folks a little. Know that whatever path this journey takes you, I won’t judge you one bit. Just make sure you keep blogging about it!

    2. This comment was absolutely “mind blowing” and has me thinking as well. I think your right Hammie. Mental attraction is so deep and not to be confused with physical attraction. I’m actually going through the same thing with my work hybrid.

  3. Jamari, you need to stay busy and stop putting all this energy into work wolf. Is this moving your life forward? Find some free yoga classes, some blog courses, go people watching, do some free fashion styling….something to keep your calendar full. You need to fill up your agenda so you can move on. You are too gifted to keep being stuck in this manipulative cycle with this dude. Grow Jamari!

  4. The more I read about work wolf, the more I don’t want str8 male friends. If someone gives me the silent treatment then I take it as a sign of the friendship is over, goodbye (I know that’s bad, but I am who I am) I mean if we fight, we fight on that day, but you’re still mad on the next day. I don’t have time for that.

    1. ^that could be any friend lin.
      “silent treatment” isn’t just for them.
      hell it could be the wolf/hybrid/fox you get in a relationship with.

      maybe the silent treatment could mean “i need a break from this” as well.

  5. I know how you feel Jamari, because I went through the same thing. My situation was when I met my friend back when I was 16 to 21 who I will call TJ. TJ and I had met in high school in one of our classes. It started with TJ staring at me to him talking to me and exchanging numbers. On the weekends he would just hit me up texting things like “what you doing big head can’t wait to see you Monday at school.” TJ always had to have a girlfriend and he always use to tell me about the way he had sex with them. He didn’t want me to have a girlfriend and I was talking to this girl at the time who he knew and he would get so pissed when he saw us together. We spent 2 years of having a strong emotional connection, he would play flirt with me, tell me that we would always be friends for life, that I had a fiesta personality and he loved that about me, always gave me compliments on my looks, and etc. Sometimes he would try to push me away he would ignore me, I told him one day that I was hurt when he didn’t talk to me, and he looked me in my eyes and said dude I’m not going anywhere we will always be friends. Well after we graduated things changed. He would send me text here and there. I got tired of playing the back and forth game with him. Once he got his car he hit me up one late night and I knew he wanted sex but I was living with my parents at the time and I had curfew so I told him I couldn’t leave my house and of course he was mad at me. I would try to hit him up but he would ignore me. Our relationship went all the way left when he started messing with his ex girl, got her pregnant, and married her. Oh and when the girl that I use to talk to back in high school wrote flirtatious things on my Facebook wall he deleted me on his friends list. I wrote this long ass novel lol to say I know how you feel because I have been there. I’m 26 now and I would be lying if I told you I’m completely over what happened between TJ and I. The time he and I shared will always be in my heart and I do miss him. Jamari what I would say is if you like having work wolf around then continue to have him around. Just know that there will always be stumbling blocks with you’ll relationship because he doesn’t know who he is, and I do think he loves you and is mad at you for making him feel this way about you. Focus on getting your mind and body back on the right track and try to date other dudes.

      1. I don’t think it will end between you two. Work Wolf is not going anywhere.The plus about you’ll relationship is that you’ll see each other daily it will start to get to him I give to Wednesday of next week he will come around.

  6. He’ll be back. Go about your daily life/business. TRUST, when he sees that his silent treatment isn’t working HE WILL hit you up again, saying he’s sorry but YOU hurt HIM with your words.
    Don’t sweat it.

  7. Guys/Bois are idiots that process emotions by distracting themselves..next week he’s gonna hit u up like nothing happened & one of the rules is ya can’t discuss it…PITFALLS OF BEING THE SIDE-PIECE…DAMMIT JF MOVE THE FUCK ON!!! …Your in the Greatest City in the World!!…FOCUS ON YOU AND THAT ENERGY WILL ATTRACT

  8. What everyone else said + this: pick your battles wisely Jamari. Don’t get worked up over stupidity and just let some things go. About 90-95% of the things that people “CHOOSE” to fight over are trivial and a waste of energy. It’s not worth it. Don’t argue about nonsense, just choose a better way of navigating the stupidity. there is no need to “go at it” most of the times so don’t. I usually take the sarcastic/passive aggressive approach to let people know what im really thinking without it being a spectacle. Or if im really close to someone and I feel they dont deserve that kind of treatment I’m just honest and straightforward with them without attacking them.

    the way you communicate can make the biggest difference.

  9. You see where you fucked up was…caring. Lol

    I honestly get a little irritated reading the comments saying “he’s so into you blah blah blah”. Some sound like that best friend on the phone with Luna on that episode of Boondocks called “Killer Kung Fu Wolf Bitch” episode lol

    All of that shit becomes null and void after a while.

  10. don’t worry about it he’ll come around and when he does it’ll be like this never happen, friends do this kind of thing all the time. He has mad love for you and the friendship cuz if he didn’t he wouldn’t be trying to go out of his way to be so bitch like about it 😜

    Go get your feet done or watch a movie and focus on you.

  11. Once again I feel I have to interject after reading comments to ditch work wolf and how terrible a person he is. Lets not forget all the nice things he’s done that he didn’t have to. Lets not forget all the good times thats been had hanging out together. Lets not forget all the personal confidences entrusted between these “friends”. Trust that the amount of energy and emotion that is being put into making a point of not speaking to Jamari, somone he speaks to and shares himself with on a daily basis, just to hurt him emotionally, is the same energy and emotion he is missing and will miss for as long as he keeps this going. No one goes to these lengths with a friend if they arn’t important to them. He is feeling just as miserable with the silent treatment as J is. He must feel either J hurt his feelings or crossed a line those are the only reasons you stop talking to a “friend” which i truly believe he feels J is. Clearly he thinks he is the “MAN” in the friendship and we all know the “MAN” finds it hard to “explain the point” so he is going to hold out until J gets over his dumbness and let by gones be by gones and bring him breakfast as a peace offering.

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