from hoarding to happy: my day of cleaning up shit

today,
i spent the entire day cleaning up the joint.
it was a basic apartment cleaning to throwing out a ton of shit.
i had clothes in laundry bags for the last 3 months.
i didn’t realize that i had so much shit.
so much of my old clothes were bagged up for the red cross.
skin and hair care products that i don’t use went down the trash chute.
as it was all sitting on my floor,
damn near taking up most of the space in my room,
i came to realize something about myself.

I’m a low-key hoarder

yeah…

now,
not
this kind of hoarding:

…but the kind that likes to hold onto the memory of the emotions.
an “emotional hoarder“.
it might be a cancer thing,
idk.
i’ve kept a lot of stuff just for the memories:

keepsakes
notes
movie tickets
all kinds of random shit

realistically tho,
none of that stuff serves me any purpose.
those folks i had “good times” are no longer in my life.
most of them left on horrible terms too.
it made me wonder…

Why do we hold onto all this crap?

it’s not like those folks are coming back.
sure,
the memories will never die,
but these items were in a time warp that didn’t allow me to move on.
i’m sure they aren’t holding onto shit that we shared…

But why am I?

it was hard to imagine throwing things out,
but once i did,
i felt almost free.
it was like a weight was lifted off.
if i feel like i’m “holding on“,
ima check myself.
even with clothes i probably won’t wear again.
it’s gotta go —–>
it clears up a lot of energy and space that could be used for better.

Advertisements

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

3 thoughts on “from hoarding to happy: my day of cleaning up shit

  1. I know how you feel. I just give away few books that I had for some years. It was one of the hardest thing I had to do. one part of me wanted to keep them, but I made myself give them away any ways. I still have more books I need to give away.

    1. ^oh im like that too!
      it’s like they become a part of your soul or something.
      once you give it away/throw them out,
      it feels like it freed up more space in your life.

  2. I definitely can relate. As a fellow Cancerian, I do think that it’s part of being emotionally attached and not wanting to let go. I have shit-loads of stuff that I need to get rid of. I commend you on doing it all in one day. Its been taking me weeks just to collect a garbage bag full of junk and throwing it away. I have bags of clothes I’ve yet to donate to the good will. Ugh..We will get thru this😁

"off topic" and other nonsense gets sent to my spam folder. other than that, play nice and let's discuss!