Long time fan and reader here. This past weekend I’ve ran into an issue and I wanted to get your advice on it. So for pretty much my whole high school career I’ve had the BIGGEST crush on one of my friends. Just hanging out with him after school would make my day ten times better but I was always hurt because I knew I was wasting my time because he wasn’t gay so I just took it on the chin and tried to move on. This past weekend, some odd years after high school, this nigga decides to come out to me and introduce me to his boyfriend. To see I was flabbergasted would be an understatement. Now, all the emotions I had suppressed for years came back and I’ve been in my feelings these past couple days. I’m genuinely happy that he’s happy now but ain’t the same time, I’m sad that it’s not with me (I know this sounds selfish but that’s honestly how I feel). I need your advice as to how to move on with the friendship.
Should I just play everything off and deal with it?
Should i tell him and let that play out?
Or should I just stop talking to him?
You’re the only one I feel like I can talk to about this.Thank you for your time and I’d appreciate any feedback!
*before i start,
i want to thank you for being a foxholer,
as well as coming to me about this issue.
i know what it’s like to have no one to talk to about things like this.
star fox use to be my “go-to”,
but since he passed,
the foxhole has become my safe haven to font freely to others like me.
nothing is worst than falling in love with someone,
but they don’t want you.
that can start many of our stories within the gay life.
i know i have a few books in my mental library that start with…
he looked at me today…”
many of these males may have been straight and not interested.
What if the “straight male crush” actually turns out to be gay?
The Universe has thrown a bone-r.
we’re all set for that “happily ever after” story line…
…until he shows up with a boyfriend,
or a whole fiance,
and we’re left even more devastated than we were
your situation sounds like the plot for “my best friend’s wedding“.
it’s that julia roberts flick were she was in love with her best friend,
but he was getting married to another woman.
for your story line,
you can have different endings.
a) You get him and be the exception to the rule
b) Flattered but only sees you as a friend
c) Not interested and it becomes awkward
i’m all for the happy ending,
but i’d say if this is a friend,
i wouldn’t stop speaking to him.
you don’t give up on someone because you can’t be with them.
thats being selfish.
if you feel very strongly about him,
i’d say confess once their relationship comes to an end.
nothing worst than being “the julia roberts” and causing drama:
if you were the boyfriend,
how would you feel if your man’s friend suddenly admitted their feelings to him?
i bet you’d cancel that little friendship in a heartbeat.
i surely tf would.
there is also the question of:
Was he attracted to you in the first place?
i’d imagine he had many occasions to admit he was feeling you.
if the boyfriend is just a place holder,
you’ll know soon enough.
i’d still continue to be in his life,
but start the process of moving on from “romantic” feelings.
if you need distance from him,
please take it.
you never know what can happen in the future,
but you don’t want to be waiting for someone to finally “see” you.
you’re better than to be living in that kind of hell.
i hope that was able to help you betterfoxholer!
please keep me updated on how it goes.