For A Good Time, Hit Up The DL Who Was Outed

outing.
we don’t realize what outing someone can do.
it’s a powerful tool to destroy someone who is dl or even discreet.
it’s like we are still in high school.
well for most of us,
we are still there.
instead of putting someone’s number on the bathroom wall,
it’s spreading someone’s sexuality for the whole world to see.
outing is so dangerous,
and is a form of bullying but i had to ask the foxhole…

Why do some of us still do it?


straights do it because of their “christian” beliefs.
that is the excuse they use.
God allegedly don’t like gays so they don’t like em either.
the gays do it because they:

a) got hurt by someone in the closet
b) want everyone to be out and proud
c) are wicked and don’t love themselves

i have written a lot in my years as a foxhole correspondent.
we have seen many pulled out the closet before their time.
the good and the bad.
the ones who were good have successfully handled it with pride.
they deserve awards for standing in the fire of judgment and ridicule.
others have gone deeper back into the closet to hide.
they bolted that muthafucka up and made a bomb shelter inside.
with their mental health beingn compromised,
a small few probably killed themselves.

that is the thing with outing.
you might remember the times in high school this made for instant popularity.
revealing that you know the star athlete gets more than knowledge from his male tutor.
the thing is…

Do we often realize the damage we can be causing?

gays always want you to “live your truth”.
living in the closet and minding their business is their truth.
the outs want this “kumbuya/i’m out so you should be out also” fantasy.
in reality,
with so much talk of mental illness nowadays,
we don’t see the damage it brings to someone who isn’t ready.
being gay is something you have to be ready for.
this is why many are in denial and watching a public witch hunt don’t help.

it can:

separate you from your families
get you fired/not hired from jobs
be shunned and banished by those labelled “friend”

look outing will probably never stop.
until we don’t depend on our phones any more,
this virtual high school we all survive in needs those virtual “bathroom walls”.
have the straights tell it,
they are flawless creatures with no closets to hide skeletons in.
the gays/bi,
who should know better,
participate because deep down inside,
they’re still looking for the acceptance from everyone.
revealing that you fucked one of the hottest who claims ”straight”?
oh,
everyone will be talking.
that is until the novelty wears off and your character is in the toilet.
so think about all the repercussions before you out someone.
if they bring harm to themselves,
their blood will be on your paws.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

16 thoughts on “For A Good Time, Hit Up The DL Who Was Outed

  1. Thanks for the wonderful post Jamari. I think as foxes and hybrids we get caught in wanting to be love and think the confirmation of that is public.

    Please note: There are straight couples and fuck buddies who do not parade or confirm their relationships in public i.e. social media.

    Even with the wolf/hybrid I’m dating now, he is attenisto but I’m not compelled to let everyone know because one we are building our relationship and two, people can get up all in your stuff when public.

  2. Because they’re obviously miserable in their own lives.

    A good portion of gay dudes couldn’t blend in with regular dudes if their lives depended on it so they’ve always been the odd man out or just hung with girls.

    They’re resentful of DL men because they can straddle the fence. Have the kids, maybe a gf, kids, be more accepted by the community because of what they project…things most of them will never experience.

    Then you have those that just want to brag that they turned some “straight” trade out and those are usually the ones that are jealous of women.

    Or the heroes that think they’re doing a service by exposing him after they themselves messed with married men in the past.

    Either way it usually comes from a pathetic place.

    1. ^i completley agree.

      it shouldn’t be someone’s job to out anyone.
      it’s sad that we have come to a place where we don’t even care about someone else and how their lives are effected.
      this “savage” life is doing so much damage than good.

    2. Well I think if it don’t affect you or nobody you love them mind your business. You know though there are other side’s to this like the DL dude that has the unknowing girlfriend or the DL dudes that look down on and at times mistreat/bully “effeminate” men. I understand somebody hiding something because people can be cruel but bringing another person and their feelings into it (the chick) or bully and mistreating a person because they are how and what they are ( the effeminate man) especially considering y’all FAMILY. There seems to be very little simpathy for these types of people when it comes to the DL man. So for me my simpathy for the DL dude that gets outed is so minimal because I have seen and at times been a victim of this kind of behavior.

  3. It’s interesting that you posted this I just read that bisexual teenage Vine and Instagram personality Jay Versace outed a former member of a boy band Princeton Perez of Mindless Behavior on Twitter.From what I can gather Princeton kept sending DMs to Jay,Jay said he was stalking him.The guy Princeton said he wasn’t in the closet.I guess he means he was discreet but not in the closet.IDK, because the only thing I remember about that teen group,Mindless Behavior is they were cute teenage boys with great hair.😂

    1. I forgot to add Jay Versace apologized he said he was tired of being harassed so he decided to post screenshots.And he had warned Princeton if he keeps bothering him and his friends he was going to release screenshots of their DMs.

    2. I think this was a situation where this guy Princeton may have liked a guy that Jay was talking to, so he kept sending DMs,harassing him so Jay got fed up and said stop bothering me or I will post these screenshots to let everyone know you are harassing me and you are gay.Because Jay is only 18, I can see him reacting that way and then regretting it.Unfortunately you can delete it but it never goes away.If you Google their names that’s the first stories that pop up.Jay was already out and I don’t know if the other guy is still in the entertainment biz.Im sure his fans were mostly young girls so this could affect his career.

  4. We’re in the age of the social. It’s like we’re programmed now to where we can’t keep secrets anymore. People are too wrapped up in other people’s business instead of minding their own. Just one more cup of tea from an endless tea kettle…

  5. My motto is: Take care of your own business, and then you won’t have time to worry about anyone else. Live by that code and many of those problems are solved. This goes for everyone — not just gay folks.

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