i experienced a panic attack last night.
it was followed by food poisoning.
the outcome wasn’t pretty.
it was quite eye-opening for me.
in those moments of a panic attack tho,
you think you’re taking your last breath…
i woke up at like 4 am this morning.
my body pulled me out of my sleep.
i felt like i was gonna be sick.
i didn’t know wtf was happening,
but i wanted to throw up.
which was followed by much more of it,
but there was something more to it.
i felt like i was going into a panic.
heart was racing
breath was short
i kept asking myself…
Is this it?
Is this how I die?
i called my cousin a few states away.
she woke up outta her sleep and knew what was up.
i spent the next hour and a half,
battling between doing 1 and 2,
and trying to be calmed down.
i didn’t want to call out,
but i ended up doing it.
i was still throwing up when my alarm was going off.
i had the panic attack because i’m still a temp at the job i’m at now.
the job is its own stress,
as i’e been tweeting and venting on ig stories,
but i need money right now.
all my savings are gone due to when i was unemployed.
they held the “you can’t call out” shit over my head,
but i was feeling like shit this morning so i made that decision.
i made the mistake of putting shackles on at a job.
something i vowed i’d never do again.
i learned my lesson this morning tho.
i’ll see to it that it won’t happen again.