i have been doing a lot of thinking these last few days.
my mind has been all over the place.
the thoughts have mostly been about my life.
how things just don’t seem to work out for me.
its like god has put me on this earth to be a joke or something.
the bible teaches about having this thing called “faith”.
it tells you that your faith should be the size of mustard seed.
well it has been.
it has always been.
i try to be as optimistic as i can,
even though i can also be as pessimistic as well.
well the times i was high key optimistic,
i have been absolutely disappointed…
no star fox to grow old with
no parents to support me
no friends in this life who have my back
no wolves that are actually loyal
no work wolf to say “finally”
i like to think i am a pretty optimistic.
i can support that theory.
hell i say my prayers every night and morning.
i practice the law of attraction faithfully.
i even keep a gratitude journal.
hell i’m so optimistic that i’m optimistic for other people.
it all seems to bring about the opposite of what i had faith about.
i hoped star fox would be here
i hoped my parents wouldn’t die of various cancers
i hoped i would have more money this year and not live check to check
i hoped work wolf would be the “one”
i hoped mi would have lived up to all that ear hustlin’
i hope that one day things will turn around for me
i hope this blog will bring me to higher heights
i hope i will meet a wolf on accident instead of searching so hard
i hope i’ll meet friends and not be betrayed by them
i hope i can open my eyes and thank god i’ve made it.
see i try to hold onto something.
i can’t be here to just be born to die.