you’re sitting in your house right now and you’re with someone else.
they want to try something new today.
so he lays you down,
ties you up,
and puts a blindfold over your eyes.
you trust him,
he’s in your home so there is some amount of trust here.
he could have been waiting patiently to tie your ass up and leave you there.
steal your phone and rob you for all your shit.
you blindly have trust that he’ll know what he’s doing.
when you think about it,
it’s pretty crazy but…
i have been doing a lot of thinking these last few days.
my mind has been all over the place.
the thoughts have mostly been about my life.
how things just don’t seem to work out for me.
its like god has put me on this earth to be a joke or something.
the bible teaches about having this thing called “faith”.
it tells you that your faith should be the size of mustard seed.
well it has been.
it has always been.
i try to be as optimistic as i can,
even though i can also be as pessimistic as well.
well the times i was high key optimistic,
i have been absolutely disappointed…
Continue reading “Faith With Works Is Dead (Well For This Fox Anyway)”
ive been over thinking.
i’ll admit it.
ive also been letting irrelevant things get to me.
this job and just feeling stagnant being one of them.
over thinking + fear + depression =
Continue reading “Over Thinking Will Have Your Ass Stagnant In Your Forest”
“i have a question?”
well since you all know me through this blog,
i have a question for all of you who read me daily.
have you ever asked yourself…
Am I doomed?
Can anyone honestly answer this?…
there are things that happen in life,
where one must choose to think positive and think fast.
like, when you get a flat tire and you are in the middle of murder’s alley,
or when you are at an event and someone shows up wearing the same thing as you.
moments like that when you’re forced to think positive,
because you can cause the energy to shift around you and WHAM!
the shit storm will commenced all over your head.
so when i got a picture message from a vixen checking my mail,
with all the letters from unemployment today,
i immediately went into the “what if…” and “why?” part of my brain.
when they send random letters,
they want you to come into the office for that “let us know what you’ve been doing” shit.
but if you don’t come in,
they cut your unemployment benefits off.
well i’m 1,146.8 miles away and i cannot go in.
i been trying to think positive all day.
maybe it’s just them trying to catch up?
maybe its worse than that?
all i know is i’ll have to call them and tell them the truth of why I’m here.
not much i can do,
but why do i feel so scared to step out on faith?
maybe because when i did,
during these potential shit storms,
god didn’t come through.
could be a reason.
why does it seem easier for other people?
let me go look at wolves or something.
First off let me say how much I appreciate you and what you do. I’ve had a rough couple of months and I can’t tell you how much your site has meant to me. I’m 22 and just recently graduated from NC State and like you I’m looking for work. Being at home has allowed me to do a lot of thinking about my life and where its going. It also has really forced me to come to terms with my sexuality. I’ve always known I was gay, but I guess I still had it in my mind that I would go through my life pretending not to be. I’ve realized that that is simply out of the question. Reading your blog has really helped me to start coming into my foxhood and for that I am so grateful. Everyday I look forward to what you are going to say, because it is always something insightful and amusing and always manages to lift my spirits. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with up and coming foxes like myself who are just trying to find their way. What you do is so important, and it really means the world to me.
Now, I hear you talk a lot about having faith and maintaining a relationship with God and I think that is really beautiful. I know that for the past 6 months or so I have been having a real crisis of faith. I grew up in a christian family, but not one of those crazy, cast out demons, speakin in tongues families thankfully. Anyway, my faith has always been important to me. I guess struggling with being gay was always something I could push to the back of my mind, but now that I’m getting older I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Sometimes I find myself asking if there even is a God? I know I’m not bound for hell. I know I’m a good person. But this whole situation is really testing me. Could you talk a little about your spiritual journey and how you’ve managed to keep your faith in spite of it all?