if you know me,
one of my favorite sentences in life is:

“i have a question?”

well since you all know me through this blog,
i have a question for all of you who read me daily.
have you ever asked yourself…

Am I doomed?
Can anyone honestly answer this?…

Continue reading “God, Forgive Them For Their Sins” →

there are things that happen in life,
where one must choose to think positive and think fast.
like, when you get a flat tire and you are in the middle of murder’s alley,
or when you are at an event and someone shows up wearing the same thing as you.
moments like that when you’re forced to think positive,
because you can cause the energy to shift around you and WHAM!
the shit storm will commenced all over your head.
so when i got a picture message from a vixen checking my mail,
with all the letters from unemployment today,
i immediately went into the “what if…” and “why?” part of my brain.
when they send random letters,
they want you to come into the office for that “let us know what you’ve been doing” shit.
tedious shit,
but if you don’t come in,
they cut your unemployment benefits off.
well i’m 1,146.8 miles away and i cannot go in.
i been trying to think positive all day.
maybe it’s just them trying to catch up?
maybe its worse than that?
who knows.
all i know is i’ll have to call them and tell them the truth of why I’m here.
not much i can do,
but why do i feel so scared to step out on faith?
maybe because when i did,
during these potential shit storms,
god didn’t come through.
could be a reason.
why does it seem easier for other people?
ugh.
let me go look at wolves or something.

FOXMAIL

Hi Jamari,

First off let me say how much I appreciate you and what you do. I’ve had a rough couple of months and I can’t tell you how much your site has meant to me. I’m 22 and just recently graduated from NC State and like you I’m looking for work. Being at home has allowed me to do a lot of thinking about my life and where its going. It also has really forced me to come to terms with my sexuality. I’ve always known I was gay, but I guess I still had it in my mind that I would go through my life pretending not to be. I’ve realized that that is simply out of the question. Reading your blog has really helped me to start coming into my foxhood and for that I am so grateful. Everyday I look forward to what you are going to say, because it is always something insightful and amusing and always manages to lift my spirits. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with up and coming foxes like myself who are just trying to find their way. What you do is so important, and it really means the world to me.

Now, I hear you talk a lot about having faith and maintaining a relationship with God and I think that is really beautiful. I know that for the past 6 months or so I have been having a real crisis of faith. I grew up in a christian family, but not one of those crazy, cast out demons, speakin in tongues families thankfully. Anyway, my faith has always been important to me. I guess struggling with being gay was always something I could push to the back of my mind, but now that I’m getting older I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Sometimes I find myself asking if there even is a God? I know I’m not bound for hell. I know I’m a good person. But this whole situation is really testing me. Could you talk a little about your spiritual journey and how you’ve managed to keep your faith in spite of it all?

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: Im Being Tested With My Faith? Help!” →

jamari fox went to church today y’all.
i also didn’t blow up when i walked in the door.
that was a good sign.
star fox’s mother called and asked i wanted to come to church with them.
i was a little hesitant,
but i said, “why not?”.
i wore:

white dress shirt,
grey slacks,
black loafers/no socks,
and aviator sun glasses,

i looked good for being on a strict budget.
the topic for church,
as well as what i found myself in after,
showed me how god works in mysterious ways in my life.
god always has a message for me when i least expect it…

Continue reading “In His Mess, There Was A Message.” →

god is interesting.
he really is, ain’t he?
i went to bed asking god:

“what do you want from me?
i do everything i’m suppose to do,
i have proven myself to be a good person.
seriously?
what do you want from me?”

i seem to be in a season of destruction,
rather than a season of blessings.
the last year has been emotionally tough.
its like i’m a farmer and all my crops keep getting destroyed.
every time i think i’m going towards a new season,
i plant new seeds for fresh harvest.
i water them and just wait.
boom.
more bullshit.
pests
no reign.
i woke up this morning and gave god thanks allowing me to see another day.
i usually go through my emails,
read the comments from the night before,
and check the news while in bed.
something inside told me to stop and go to spiritualinspiration.
i see this:

Continue reading “Does Anyone Know Where My Knee Pads Went?” →

i am be the greatest fox alive.
i live a comfortable life.
i am wealthy.
i know ballers wolves.
i have great friends.
i have amazing readers.
i have a lot of connections.
i will continue to be a success with ideas.

all of those things are absolutely true.
some just haven’t happened yet,
but some have already started happening.
they will because i have aligned my self talk with my desires.

in life, you could either be beaten down and accept the bullshit life hands to you.
start getting yourself ready for battle.
you need to be brave in this world.
life is not for weaklings and softies.
only the strong survive.
being black and liking men already puts you behind everyone else…
or does it?
we are lucky in many ways.
for one,
no annoying child support and we tend to be blessed with SUPER HUMAN LIKE talent.

we choose which direction we want to go.
we choose how people will react to us.
we also choose whether we want respect or bad treatment.
i demand respect.
you should too.
that is the first step in aligning yourself towards where you want to be.
no one should tell you who you are.
you should ALWAYS tell them.
below are some rules i follow to be great…

Continue reading “ALIGN THAT THING TO ME SO THE RIGHT THINGS CAN CUM OUT OF THIS.” →