f0xmail: The Ugly Duckling Became A Cute Swan… and I Want Him Now! Help!


So, I have a group of friends – there are 4 of us. I’ll be A and we’ll call the others B, C, and D. We’ve been thicker than thieves since the first day of college and now, since we graduated about 2 years ago and moved to different parts of the country, we still talk daily. We’re all gay but of course some of us were closer than others. C was my BFF and B & D were ol’ skool judys. Anywho, around junior year, I kinda figured that D was into me so I began asking him for favors – money, homework, errands, etc. I kept it under the guise of friendship but I knew he wanted more. I should mention that back then he just wasn’t my type or so I thought. Even though he was attractive, he was the heaviest and we never let him forget it – me more than the others. Toward the end of senior year, B & C got hip to my game(s) and called me out on my bullshit. They threatened to tell him if I didn’t so I confessed to D and things were never quite the same. In conversations, I could tell he only really fucked w/ B & C but tolerated me.
Fast forward to a week ago. All of our schedules and finances finally meshed and we all met up for a winter weekend on the east coast. D showed up and he showed up looking DELICIOUS. It was the first time I’d seen him in person since graduation. He was still the same size but everything that was pudge before was now solid. Physically, he’d changed a little but his spirit hadn’t. He was so humble and witty and kind. We caught up and he told me about his new job and a potential wolf and I smiled through my pain. When I saw him I realized I wanted him. B thinks I should leave D alone and let him be happy for now and see if he circles back. C thinks I’m a fool if I let him get away this time. I’m really torn. Me and D laughed, and we reminisced and made good ground last weekend in mending our relationship. As a friend, I want the best for him but I also want him to be mine because he could be the best for me.

What if I confess my feelings and he reads me my rights?

What would you do?


ya know,
as i was reading this,
the first thing that popped in my mind was:


isn’t this how it always happens tho?
the nerd,
the loser,
the fat ass
sometimes they don’t stay down for long.
with all the ill treatment they received,
its only fair that god sometimes throws them a bone.
the ugly duckling who chased up around…
grows into his looks and becomes a beautiful swan.

the fat ass who ate his feelings…
well he finds a gym and becomes someone we want to eat us.

2_gifi have to confess that while reading this,
i thought you were dead wrong.
you knew he was into you and took advantage of that.
i respected your honesty tho.
it takes guts to admit something like that.

i couldn’t help but wonder if you only want him because he looks good now?
as well as having someone new in his life?
he is still the same person just with bawdy.
look there are times we aren’t attracted to certain people in our lives.
its how we handle rejecting them is what matters.
you didn’t handle it maturely.
now he looks good,
you suddenly see the errors in your ways.tumblr_mthbp9MRoh1s4rha3o3_250

my advice is to apologize to him.
he deserves that much.
i would also be honest about your true feelings as well.
put all the cards on the table.
if he turns you down,
then you gonna have to take that “L” and move on.
think of this as a huge learning lesson.
plus its all “omg i want him” right now,
but do you think you can deal with him in the long run?
the answer may just surprise you.
hope it all works out reader.
keep me posted on what the outcome ends up being.

jamari fox

well hit me: CONTACT

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

10 thoughts on “f0xmail: The Ugly Duckling Became A Cute Swan… and I Want Him Now! Help!”

  1. Jamari this is just like I told you, some people peak later on in life so you have to be careful how you treat them!

    This lesson is going to fall on deaf ears for most people though.

    They’re feeling you, but they’re not your type? That’s cool, but be honest! Maybe you guys can be friends and you haven’t burned that bridge completely.

    The problem with gay men and some women is they feel anyone who isn’t what they’re looking for should be used for their benefits and then go walk off a cliff.

    Rejection and disappointment helps people get stronger when people channel it into something positive and that tends to manifest itself in their appearance.

    I hope you do tell him your feelings and if he’s kind he’ll crack your face right then and there. If he’s cruel, he string that ass along and enjoy every minute of it lol.

    Sounds cruel but you reap what you sow.

  2. I’m gonna go ahead and agree with everyone else and say you should apologize but I think you should put a pin in it and don’t confess your feelings yet. Hang with him and talk with him some more and then you’re know for sure if you want him because of his new body or not. Good luck

  3. Nah. He should let it be. He had his opportunity, but he chose to use and abuse dude. Now that ol’ boy is solid, his mouth is watering. Maybe ol’ boy should get some retribution and string HIS ass along now. LOL
    But that wouldn’t solve anything. Just leave well enough alone.

  4. Yep. I’m with the others – leave dude alone. Sometimes when you fuck up, you just gotta live with it.
    Plus, because of how things were before, who knows if dude can fully trust you.

    I can only stand w/ dude in saying “Boy bye”… You wasn’t feeling my cocoon so this butterfly ain’t gone be feeling you!

  5. I agree with Jamari–apologize and put your cards on the table. You used him in the past. He may accept that and forgive that or he may want to move on. It’s his choice. Honesty is the best policy–here.

  6. Yea he should totally apologized and confess his true feelings, but I doubt the guy will want him again because feelings usually switch around and he’s probably more into the potential wolf. But man I hope that shit happens to me because I was a fat ass and have been crush multiple times, that another reason why I can’t wait to return to NY because physically I had changed a lot and I want those boys who rejected me to swallow it badly and to know they can never have me anymore.

  7. I believe you should leave him alone, he deserves better bro. That may sound harsh, but it is the truth. You used him, and now you want him because he looks good, which means you are only interested because of his physical appearance only. Personally, I do not want someone like that. People have more value than just their outer appearance.

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