f0xmail: I’m Trapped In New Yawk. Help!

tumblr_ln4x74s0gK1qlxlnfo1_500FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari, I first off want to say I looooooove your blog! its super inspirational and very realistic. Your blog gets me through a lot and I thank you so much for staying strong through time times. Your part of the reason why I look at life differently (in a positive way). I will definitely follow you on any adventure in life you decide to endure on. Now what I wanted to know is…

Why the concrete jungle?
why not another state?
Meet new people, new environment, wolves, etc.

The reason I’m asking is because I am a born and raised NY native. I feel I need a change. I left my job because I didn’t have a passion for it and I was very well ok I have a job no need to look for another. Im 25 and why people think I should be in Fashion I don’t see myself styling or designing anything lol and its a very competitive business as well as one of the most sought out careers nowadays.  I would do fashion but the business part of it. At times I just feel down on where to start and then theres my social life Lol. What bae? and What friends? lol I know people from all over come to NY for a fresh start, am I not realizing the “Greats” in this city? I am a big believer in “Not leaving something great to find better but end up with worst”.

Any advice for a standstill fox? loll

MY ANSWER…

thank you for the compliments love.
Brittana_head_on_shoulderthank you for joining me as i travel through life’s many foxholes.

you know what’s funny?
as someone who also grew up in new yawk,
it isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.
it burns my biscuits when people who don’t live here try to tell me otherwise.
for someone who is visiting or from the outside looking in,
new yawk is magical.
it’s the city that never sleeps.
it doesn’t.
where else can you go into a town with bright ass billboards at 4am?
something is always happening.
somewhere.
we also have some of the finest wolves to walk the earth.
the way they talk to you.
look at you.
mhmm.
new yawk is a melting pot of diversity and entertainment.
everyday feels like you are on a movie set.
but,
and there is a huge but,
new yawk is also one of the toughest places to live if you have no connects.
it’s also worst when you have no money.
i’m sure you know what i’m talking about.

growing up in new yawk,
we can smell a scheme a mile away.
we learned just how grimey the streets are.
that is what “gossip girl”,
“the cosby show”,
and “sex in the city” won’t tell you.
they won’t tell you how expensive new yawk is.
it cost 2.50 just to get on the train.
when they got rid of that “all day fun pass” years ago,
i nearly screamed.
they won’t tell you how new york niggas are full of shit.
how you will definitely get good sex,
but won’t always get a good wolf.
they won’t tell you how fake people are here.
they try to disguise it with “being real”.
being real… fake.
how you think you met a friend only to have a future enemy.
that is the side they choose to edit out.

i can tell you that new yawk is built on connections.
you could have a degree in “ruling worldism”,
but if you don’t know the people to do it,
you will be pretty much on the bottom.
these snow bunnies kill me.
they will go buy the latest purse or louboutins just so they can social climb.
i see it every day at work.
like bitch,
why are you living in the village,
living with ten roommates just so you can say you live in the city?
you know how many foxes ive seen come and go?
ones from down south especially.
i love them because they come here so excited.
they move here,
get caught up in the bright lights and easy sex,
and lose themselves along the way.
fallin for hustlin’ niggas who can literally smell “new meat”.
then they are back to their home state,
overfucked and out of money.
yup.
that is my city reader.
our city.

you grew up in a great city.
one that teaches you so much.
i won’t lie and say that it isn’t a difficult city.
you can leave and go anywhere else,
but you will always miss home.
new yawk has a way of making you realize how great it is once you leave.
we are spoiled here.
like me,
when i left for florida,
it helped me clear my mind.
i ended up getting a good job when i got back,
but the constant worry of not living my dreams makes me cringe.
so like i tell people who want to give new yawk a try:

FIND YOUR PASSION

what makes you happy?
what will fulfill you?
what makes you feel alive?
what would you want to be doing 5 years from now?

once you find that,
you will start finding your way into your career.
sure you need a job to pay your bills,
but you have to multi task to truly make it.
as tired as i am,
i still come home and get to writing in the foxhole.
that is the life of a career driven new yawker.
when you start meeting the person who does “pr for vogue”,
or “mariah carey’s stylist”,
then you put them to good use.
some of them tend to act “high and mighty”,
but again,
they can also sniff out who is real and fake.
be your true self with people.
being friends just to “get something” is a bad decision here.
they know people who know people.
whatever career you want,
someone has the vip pass to get you in.

running_vh1even if you work as the mailboy at gucci corporate office,
you now have a “title”.
god forbid you have a job/career that gives you discounts/free products.
a title that can be your opening as you hand our your business card.
people here are superficial and love a title.
this is why so many hustlers get far.
how these wolves out here get a lot of pussy?
they have random titles,
or dress that part,
and half the time it don’t mean nothing.
the silly superficial people get blinded by it.
so once you have “something someone wants”,
or your talent is extraordinary,
use it to your advantage and watch your career take off.
this is what ive started doing.
people will be eating out the palm of your hand.
so:

be ready your passion,
be focused,
be tough,
be prepared to budget and stack your bread,
be choosy where you show your face,
be choose who you fuck,
be open to meeting new people,
and for the love of god: be silent about your business.

the underlined is the first sign of failure.
don’t tell everyone everything.
just what you need them to know.
you’ll make it tho.
it takes a minute,
but you’ll get it together.
it’s only the new yawk way.

tumblr_n4ldtm2Fht1rub0hvo1_500sorry this was so long,
but it was needed.
hope it helped!

best,
jamari

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

13 thoughts on “f0xmail: I’m Trapped In New Yawk. Help!

    1. ^babe I can tell you some stories.
      down south wolves,
      foxes,
      hybrids,
      and vixens learn quick or don’t learn at all.
      that southern hospitality swagg doesn’t cut it in the city.

    2. I had visited NY a while back and im from New Orleans. The only difference I saw was its bigger but it wa exactly the same as any other city

  1. I was born and raised in Philly most of my life and never went to NYC…I have to take a day trip soon probably this holiday season..but i love what i read about NYC in regards to culture and stuff but ESPECIALLY the schools…my dream is too attend grad school at NYU…*sigh* science nerd all the way i want to be an Immunologist so i know i have to grind but i think NYC is just the best representation of the struggle to achieve the AMERICAN DREAM…when Akeys and Jay-Z made that song a few years back it basically summed up what everyone thinks of NYC…

  2. I know New York can be a bitch at times but it’s the city of dreams, I ‘be always wanted to visit or live there ……….. Just a fix with his head in the clouds

  3. Now everyone shut the fuck up. As a native New Yawka I understand a need for change, but I’m not gonna let u people talk shit about my home. New York might stink and crazy at times, but it is one of the most original state. You can find many interesting things and meet new cool people if you know where to look. Plus NY has way more opportunity than other states; for example in Maine your life career choice is either woodman, fisherman or lobsterman, factory worker, and a doctor/nurse. I think in Iowa most of the jobs there is coal mining -_-

  4. I realized recently that I could commute DAILY from Chicago to NYC for less than my housing costs in Manhattan. I am well into the top tax bracket and I find living here a challenge. All these folks looking to move here should double their wildest expectations for how expensive the city is. People making $35,000 per year in Atlanta can live decently. Twice that is a real struggle in NYC. Jamari, you left out of your excellent advice that NYC has a suspicious dearth of older folks living well. So, when you move here, unless you already have a nice seven figure nest egg, don’t expect to retire.

  5. As someone who had a chance to visit NYC, I can say without a doubt that this city has a energy that I have never seen in any other place. I was in awe of seeing that many people at one time and all the beautiful architecture, the museums, theaters etc are like nothing no where else in the USA. The brothers up there, OMG just beautiful and that swag and confidence is intoxicating. It is truly one of those places that you can visit and chill, but I dont think I would want to live there full time because I couldnt even began to fathom the cold weather when where I am at is never that cold even in the dead of winter. The cost of everything was beyond ridiculous. J, I didnt know you grew up in NY, I thought you only moved there when you were grown, learn something new everyday LOL. I can see that if you can survive with all that you have to put up with in this city, you are a strong ass individual. True words-if you can make it here you can make it anywhere.

    I have known a couple of people who have braved it and moved there, one guy I met years ago through a mutual friend, moved there and was telling me that he went chasing behind a dude and the dude spoiled him with expensive gifts, he didnt have to work because this wolf was PAID, but he told me the dark side that when he was a 1000 miles away from home, the dude began to beat his ass for breakfast, lunch and dinner, withhold money and treated him like shit. Then it got worse, he found out he was HIV positive and the dude ship his ass back home with nothing when he told him. He had to rely on his family who was not that supportive about 9 months later this dude passed away. I have never forgot that. It let me know that if you do go you better have a plan A, B and C and a backup plan.

  6. “Im 25 and why people think I should be in Fashion I don’t see myself styling or designing anything lol and its a very competitive business as well as one of the most sought out careers nowadays. I would do fashion but the business part of it.”

    As someone in the ‘Fashion Industry’ I will tell you to stay away from those ‘Stying’ and ‘Designing’ areas unless you are talented/trained and or have a long history/love/passion for it. It seem like you are new to this and still hasn’t figure out what you want to do.
    The industry is very competitive. I remember at the height of the blogging days 2010 – 2012 every gal and gay boy wanted to live in New York and then came the crash in 2013 when it was no longer OFTD (Outfit of the day) It became a ‘lifestyle’ on Instagram, and everyone started doing it.

    Most of these people you see spent their days begging and writing emails to pr companies for free clothes, shoes, trips etc
    And those ‘Stylist’ all do the same thing, it a cut throat world. Only few get big and really reap the benefits. You have to be indispensable for these big wits in the fashion capitals to pay attention to you.

    I wouldn’t advise you working for anyone or have the thought of working for a traditional outlet be it magazine, print, or even the big mega sites (they are all dead).
    Firing people left and right because digitalization has changed the game.

    Where I would recommend you go into is the digital side, creating content, website development, and coding.
    That is where the Multi-Million dollar ideas are at. The really money makers are not the glamorous set you see at fashion week parading the streets of Milan Paris, New York and London.

    Hope this helps you, I will just leave it at that.

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