Good day Jamari, I’m an avid reader of your blog and I have always viewed everyday after the day’s activities, well done.
But I’m devastatingly tired of living life this way, I’ve missed lots of opportunities to be involved with men who find me attractive, e.g. In my university, I ignore men who look my way and sometimes I even feel disgust and throw homophobic slurs at them like “stop looking at me, faggot” and stuff like that – I don’t know if you understand me?
when i was around 21,
i really hated and homophobic to myself.
i mean i was insecure af.
the thought of liking another male was gross,
yet strangely intriguing to my body parts.
if i saw gay males in movies or tv shows,
i’d turn the channel.
if i saw them in the forests,
i’d go the other way.
the idea of dick grossed me out completely too.
it wasn’t a good time in my life.
around that time,
i was running the forests with straight hood wolves.
they were pretty homophobic.
it was all about getting pussy and being “the wolf”.
i had to pretend i was interested in vixens,
my soul was pushing me to something else i fought inside.
through a ton of maturity and learning lessons,
i’m pretty comfortable within my own fur.
i don’t feel uncomfortable,
and as the foxhole knows,
i’ll put my autograph on a mushroom head.
it blows my mind when i hear about other forests in the world.
you still have the risk of being killed for being gay,
but there is a tremendous amount of freedom too.
it all depends on the area you live.
when i read your foxmail,
i had to sit and marinate on giving you the right answer.
you’re literally in a battle zone.
i would never tell you to come out because the outcome might be terror.
i’m not one of those pretentious gays who thinks folks should be out for their liking.
I want you to be comfortable with who you are first
you need to accept “you”.
life isn’t a fun place if you aren’t comfortable with yourself.
being attracted to the same sex is who you are and that’s okay.
and i can only font for me,
but my first time was when i started getting comfortable.
there was a level of trust and free fall that i had to do beforehand.
i was worried af he would out me,
but i allowed him to take control naturally.
it helped that i was high key attracted to him too.
you should start befriending other males at your school.
you might be throwing daggers at someone trying to find themselves.
the life is already a very lonely one,
but with the right connects around you,
you’re bound to meet someone you can vibe with on that level.
this is after they’ve established they aren’t playing double agent.
before any of this can happen,
you have to face YOU.
take some time to accept you’re attracted to males.
get comfortable with that idea.
you may not even need the girlfriend once this happens.
once you arrive at that place,
there are still more levels to go,
but that’s been the first step for many of us.
you don’t have to come out entirely,
as i choose to live a discreet life,
but you will break down the walls that are holding you back.
i hope this helped in some way.
you only know the situation you’re in.
i can only give advice from what you’re telling me.
please keep me posted and i’ll send some positive energy your way.
the foxhole will always be here.