f0xmail: A Wolf Is Coming To My Crib and I Don’t Want To Kill Him!!!! Help!!!

FOXMAIL

JAMARI HELP! First of all, I love your site. I am so happy you made this outlet for us. For a long time I have been searching for a site like this. You make me feel like I can conquer the world!!!!!! Anyway I have a wolf coming over tomorrow and I would love to cook him something. I can’t cook!!!!!!! Any suggestions on how to learn?????? He is sexy as hell and really into me. I want to make his first visit to my apartment special!!!!!!

MY ANSWER…

well first,
thank you for the compliment!
have no fear,chef fox-boyardee is here!

cooking is one of the best ways to keep a wolf coming around.
feed ‘im and suck ‘im is one motto i live by.
i was just like you at one point.
didn’t know how to cook.
burned shit up.
the smell lingering in the hallway.

now,
i can cook pretty much anything you throw my way.
i always get compliments on my food.
vixens and wolves trying to get me to cook for them.
here are the four rules to successful cooking:

patience.
focus.
attention.
experiment.

here is a easy and simple meal i like to prepare.
you will need:

rice.
chicken.
herbs and spices.
steamfresh vegetables.

when you get your chicken,
wash it off.
take all the extra slime and fat off.
throw the chicken in a bowl.
take a fork and poke some holes in it.
afterwards use olive oil,
adobe seasoning,
parsley,
garlic powder,
paprika,
lemon juice,
basil,
and lemon pepper to season it.
once you are an expert,
play around with different seasonings to create your own one of a kind recipe.
mix it all together.
throw it in the fridge.
i usually keep it in there overnight to let the seasoning fully marinate into the chicken.
if you are in a hurry,
keep it in the fridge 2 – 4 hours.

next is the rice.
a challenge for some.
get a cup.
pour some rice in half a cup.
get a medium-sized pot.
pour another cup of water inside.
turn the stove to high underneath.
put butter (or olive oil),
a bit of sugar,
basil,
and let it boil.
when the water starts to bubble,
pour the rice inside,
take a spoon to stir it,
and lower the heat.
put the cover on and leave it.

take the chicken out the fridge.
put the chicken in a baking pan.
turn the oven on to 375.
let the chicken cook for 55 minutes.
PLEASE USE A TIMER!
when you take it out,
use a fork to poke a hole to make sure no blood comes out.
if nothing but clear liquid comes out,
you are all set.

back to the rice.
when you see that the rice has settled,
Β it has holes in it…

… and the water is completely drained,
then it is done.

for veggies,
you can get those steam fresh joints,
follow the instructions,
pop it in the microwave,
and you are done.
when that is done,
empty it in a bowl,
add seasonings and shredded cheese.

WALLAH.

dinner is served!
i hope that helped you.
afterwards,
for desert,
get some nestle syrup
well you know the rest.

anyone else have any beginners recipes?
guaranteed wolf trappers?
comments?
please share!

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS: CONTACT

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

26 thoughts on “f0xmail: A Wolf Is Coming To My Crib and I Don’t Want To Kill Him!!!! Help!!!

    1. ^yes…

      and then he wants him to cook something in front of him,
      or while he is there because that faked food was so good,
      he ends up looking like a fool and a liar.
      LOL.

  1. at least if it comes off terrible,
    you tried and put effort into it.
    plus its always the thought you put into something that counts!
    makes people feel special and opens them up to you.

  2. Pasta, salad, and garlic bread is a pretty easy dinner. The only thing you have to cook is te pasta. You do that by boiling water with olive oil and salt. After the water is boiled place the pasta in the pot and just wait for it to be fully cooked. For sauce just get it from the grocery and you can either mix it with the pasta or have it separate from it. If you are going to mix it with the pasta. Heat olive oil in a frying pan and place the pasta and sauce in the pan and just cook if for about 15mins.

  3. If you are going to fake it and get something from a restaurant and transfer it, what you can do is get some real butter, not margarine and green onions, let the butter melt and add green onions and just let them saute and make sure you watch it and not let it burn, just a 1/2 stick of butter and chopped up green onions or even better buy them already cut. This smell gives the illusion that you are cooking something really good in the kitchen. Also heat garlic bread to add to your faux dinner, the aroma it sets off will make it seem that you are really in their throwing down. It is so many easy dinner for two combinations of pasta and rice in the grocery store that even the worse cook can come out ok. Spaghetti and meatsauce is really easy and a no brainer. Better yet get on youtube and you can see step by step instructions. This is one talent that Im beyond blessed in doing, I have fed many a hungry mouth, I like to eat so I learned how to cook before I was a teenager watching my southern grandmother and my mother two of the best cooks ever. Good Luck, if all else fails hopefully you are cute because all if forgiven if you are cute with most wolves, he will eat it just to make you feel good πŸ™‚

  4. Baked Tilapia, Brown Rice and Vegetables
    1. Buy fresh tilapia filets and season with garlic powder, parsley, seasoned salt and olive oil. Bake in oven for 17 mins.

    2. Buy Uncle Ben’s Brown Rice. The one in the pouch, that you heat in the microwave for 90 secs. Microwave rice.
    3. Buy a pack of frozen vegetables that you can heat up in the microwave. Yes, the microwave is your friend lol.

    4. Bring out the good china, place all the food in a presentable arrangement. If your wolf drinks, bring out the good liquor if not get something good you think he will like.

  5. Im sorry but why the fuck are you cooking for a wolf who isn’t your boyfriend? Please. Order some take out and keep it moving, aint nobody got time for that.

      1. Hush!

        Real talk I can’t cook for shit, so I can really appreciate someone who can.

        Just imagine someone who can stimulate you mentally, fucks like a pornstar, and can cook?

        I’d propose before dessert. Lol

  6. I can’t cook for shit, but I have never tried tho. No one has really showed me how to lol. I think I will learn this summer. Shit, Foxes are supposed to cook for us anyway. The Wolf brings home the food and the Foxes cooks it. LOL

      1. Yeah I’ve been letting the chicken marinate in the fridge for a few hours.

        Now I have to start on the rice. Hopefully I don’t burn anything. Lol

        1. ^i like the top of the chicken to bake essentially.
          covering it with foil doesn’t really do that.

          cooking can be tedious,
          but it saves you money on eating out all the time.
          some days I cook small shit,
          other days I go HAM.

          1. also don’t put the leftover food in the fridge immediately after.
            let it sit out for a while to cool down and then put it in the fridge.
            if I finish cooking at 8,
            ill put it in the fridge at 11.

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